Hi, I’m kind of new in taking pills and balancing my life, so I was wondering if someone could give me some useful advice.
First of all, I apologize for inaccurate grammar because English is not my maternal language. Everything, I know from English, is thanks to classes in high school, where I go now as an 18 years old teen.
So, where to begin? Well, before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder few months ago, my life has been quite a mess. During long period of time my only comfort has been alcohol, and I got these cravings for it, family relationships were damaged, and it was pretty rough time in my life: passing out, black outs, arguing, stress, guilt, self-destruction, disappointment, and so on.
Finally, I feel much better now and I started a different kind of life: I communicate and hang out with people, I laugh, general relationships with people are getting better, and I enjoy. Sometimes it’s a bit difficult, but I’m working on my problems and making progress.
However, due to to much “living” in my personal life, my grades are worst then ever, and it’s my final year in high school so it would be nice if I could learn so I could go to college I like. My problem is I can’t force myself to study. It seems so irrelevant and I’m too lazy to even do a cheat chat, as I have usually done few past years.
Even though I think it’s too late to have an A on the end of semester, I would like not to ruin the rest of it.
All in all, while I’m satisfied, I am ruining my future by grades, and when I’m depressed and obsessed with alcohol, I have great grades thanks to studying which comes as some kind of a runaway from reality and as a relief from depressive thoughts or manic hyperactivity.
My question is: how to be a happy and successful person at the same time? It’s so contradictory that it seems impossible.