I hear you.. know do you think it's better being medicated or unmedicated? The highs are the best I think!
I am new to this site and have suffered with this for about 12 years now. I have not found meds that work for me and yes the mania is a high but then comes the lows which overwhem me more than the mania. I just can seem to find a balance. Calm is what I seek all the time now. I feel alone always. Xanax from time to time. My doc was me to see a syc but, it cost to much plus the meds almost killed me. Lost
Oh man...amen to that. I feel the same way! I'd be queen of the world if I could just keep that up all the time. I feel bad for people that have to live in a monotone state all their lives never feeling that freedom and energy. Is it worth it for the low swings though? ****....who knows. I think so.