I need HELP!!

[bella4ever]

ok....I am at low...one of those where my ( my curtains are shut,house is dark-don't want to see daylight.....wont answer phone,unless it is my children then it is short and brief...don't even have the energie to take a shower,brush my teeth...clean my house.....I am so scare..I don't wanna hit the very bottom.....I want to bring myself out of this..but how....I want to give up...I don't want to give up....my mind is spinning a hundred miles a minute...I know I need to go to the doc...but I cant (don't want to leave the house) I just need someone to talk to.....I talk to myself (does anyone else talk to them selves) I cant even sit up straight....I just want to go back to  bed....and sleep....that is pretty much all l have been doing the last three days....how can someone sleep so much....I don't want live like this anymore....I cry and cry....I don't want to cry no more.....I feel guilty to for feeling this way....but I cant help....I beat myself up...I say it is just in your head..your lazy...you just need to get up and do it---but i cant---I am sorry...but some people just don't understand what I go thro......I dont wanna hurt anymore...I dont want the people around me to hurt anymore,,,,,especial my kids----Sorry i am venting on everyone...I just need someone who understands....Thanks Bella :~(    

[cowgirlnerd]

How are you today?

Racheal

[cowgirlnerd]

Glad you are doing better.  It's comforting to feel "normal" in our world.  It's hard to explain to people that don't experience the Hell we go through, and having a like kind environment is so great, I feel.

Have a great day with your kids!

[bella4ever]

Hey i am awake.......Thank you guys soooo much....it does really help talking to you guys---I am feeling better,got to go to doc today....so hopefully everything will be ok...Or no it will be OK...I have to think positive......I am going to go spend some time with my children today....I CANT WAIT----I think it will help alot--RB my boyfriend has been 1derful,helping with this low.....he is gr8....very understanding....T.Y.G....So are you guys,u r gr8....thank you for all the post,notes and hugs.....It really feels good to vent on someone that knows what ur venting about!! THANKS :~) Bella

[LeftCoastChick]

Your symptoms are very much like mine, you need to find the courage to go see your doctor or walk into your local hospital, you will feel better if you do, it may take a while, but you can. Hang in there.

[Venora Moonwind]

I am just going to echo the other posters.
I talk to my self all the time.
You arent alone. We are here Message me anytime you want to talk.
Blessed Be
Venora

[Lizz67]

You are having classic symptoms.  The imbalance of chemicals in your brain is causing you to be sleeping so much and crying. Everyone's comments are great - I can't add more, except to say that I have felt exactly that way. In fact this past weekend I barely got out of bed.  Please make a call.  You may find yourself able to get out then, even though you don't think you can do it now.
Keep posting here as well, we all want to help each other because we've all been through the pain.

[monkeyc]

Please ring the crisis number.  We've all been there, we are all thinking of you right now OK, youre not alone.

You don't need to take the pain, you don't need to deal with this alone - this is when you need to, have to, must reach out to hat support network and the doctors and get the help you need to come through this.  You are in my thoughts today, please do not let the illness win - you're stronger than that - just look at the people and the family around you, your children and all you have achieved.

Its not you its the illness, that's the first thing to realise and the second thing is you can't let the illness win - you are not the illness - pick up the phone and ask for help to fight it.

Call for help - there's nothing wrong with doing it, keep talking to us here, we're listening and we're praying for you.

[cowgirlnerd]

Bella,

All the things you said, we all feel at one time or another.   That is the PERFECT picture of a Bipolar I, and the affects that it has us in a cycle.  

Please be strong and call the number.  Don't worry what people will think - don't worry what will happen....just call.  

You are important to your children and to your friends/family.  You don't want to give up, it just hurts so much - we believe you and understand.  

Call the number so they can help you to make it stop hurting and we can still have you with us - and can get better.  

Hugs

[bernie40]

Bella,hon, you've done a great thing coming on here, the next thing you need to do is make a phone call - is there a crisis number you can ring?

I do know how you feel, trust me I really do - yes I talk to myself, yes I sleep for days on end, don't speak to anyone, cry, want to be alone.  BUT  you will come through this
you really will, but your going to need some help to do that.

So call the number.  Your kids want you to feel better they don't want you feel worse, they don't want you to disappear from their lives.  There is still a little glimmer in there, that little voice telling you you don't want to give up - listen to that voice.

Please ring the crisis number now, tell them you can't even get out the house but that you need help.