I talk to tigers. Am I going crazy?

[tigercity]

So I recently got put on Lamictal, by my own request, because I wanted a drug with less side-effects (especially one which would undo my weight-gain spree). I am currently on a dose of 100mg of Lamictal and 10mg of Olanzapine (Zypreza). Ever since I got on Lamictal I have experienced greater lucidity, an elevated mood and loss of appetite (the good kind, where I don't put everything I see into my mouth).
So this elevated mood has been getting more and more elevated. I have so much energy now that I spend most of my time walking around the city, smoking, and more alarmingly, dreaming. These day-dreams could be a reason for, not to mention a result of, my elevated mood. I imagine myself as thinner, beautiful, funny, smart and talented, with many friends and admirers. These day-dreams are getting so seriously ingrained in my mind that I find myself drifting into them even when I am in the company of other people. This is my happy place, and I want to live in this world.
Now, to get to the point of my story.
I was gifted a tiger-cub stuffed toy by my father for my second birthday, and I have had him (yes, he is a him) since then. Recently, I have taken to the habit of talking to him, imagining that he is answering back. This could be a result of the fact that I have few friends here at college and hence, no 'real' people to talk to.
Recently, I have started to get alarmed at the extent of how far I am sinking into my own imagination. Right now its still controllable, but I am wondering, how far can this go? Will I end up as one of those people you see on the street and read about in books who talk to themselves, and are clearly, alarmingly delusional? I am going to see my therapist again next week, but before that I feel like I need an answer - help, almost. I don't think this is a reason to commit myself to a psych ward at the moment, but I don't want this to grow into a situation where I have to.
Please, advice or feedback, both will be helpful :)

[lindahand]

Either way I am glad Dr. Mac is gone. I want to take people who say this is psychosomatic and shake them. I get a little lively about such things. We deal with enough stigma without that malarky.  

[looloo141]

I totally agree lindahand! I thought it was just me that took offence by the advice from DoctorMac. His advice has been removed, I don't know if he removed them himself or whether a moderator did it :)

[lindahand]

I don't know if 'Doctor Mac' is a real doctor or not. It would seem if he was posting on the Doctor's forum would be more appropriate. Calling bipolar psychosomatic is a bit of a stretch. It takes us back to the dark ages and the realm of blaming the patient. You can't tell me that when someone is full blown manic there isn't a physical manifestation of illness.

That isn't to say diet, exercise, and good therapy won't alleviate or prevent episodes in many people. The same logic can be applied to almost every illness. Good self care strengthens the body which is connected to the mind.

To say to steer clear of clinical social workers is a bunch of nonsense. Here a clinical social worker takes 6 years of schooling and has practical training on how to handle people with MI. They serve a different roll than do psychologists. They are more hands on and often assist with things such as finding affordable housing. But perhaps this is just in Canada and the US system is different.

[looloo141]

That's good that the lines of communication between your Psychiatrist and Psychologist are very good, I'm sure they know what they are doing. You seem quite calm right now and you know what to do if things get worse..its also good that the Pdoc warned you of potential symptoms, just try your best to remain stable, good sleep pattern, eating well, taking meds, do you use the mood tracker? That would help you keep an eye on things too. I'm glad you are okay :)

[tigercity]

Hi,
Thank you for the comments :)
I do not think I need to switch psychiatrists, because mine has started monitoring me pretty well, and I am sure if she saw any cause for concern, she would let me know ASAP. Also, she is in conference with my psychologist, and even if she didn't pick up anything herself, I am sure my psychologist would tell her.
I have felt the mania rise and fall - sometimes it gets unbearably aggressive, and its all I can do to even stay in one piece, but these are short spasms that soon pass. For example, right now I am quite at peace.
My psychiatrist did tell me that I would experience some symptoms of mania occasionally, and that they are completely normal and no cause for concern. She doesn't know about the delusions though. I will definitely bring them up the next time I see either her or my psychologist, and take it from there.
Thank you once again :)

[looloo141]

I think it is irresponible to recommend a person to avoid their psychiatrist and everything they know at a time where they are unstable and experiencing manic symptoms.
When a person is stable then it is up to them if they want to change to an alternative approach to their mental health.

When you say the doctor added Lamictal is this because you have worked with this doctor for a long time and have developed trust between you? My doctor is like that too, sometimes I know through my own insight what I need.. the problem is when we finally get an appointment our needs might have changed again. It sounds like you needed the Lamictal at one point but don't need it now, maybe increasing the olanzapine might have been a better optio.. ( but I bet you didn't want the olanzapine increasing because of the weight gain! LOL )

I bet you are having a whale of a time LOL, it sounds great. You sound like someone who has great insight, and the fact you are seeking help is great.
We shouldn't report everything to the doctor because we would be there all time but you definitely need to see a doctor or at least call your therapist because you need to prevent this spiralling out of control, it seems you are already on that slippery slope.

The tiger toy is not concerning me as much as the rest of your symptoms but collectively its all very worrying. I often find myself talking to objects, because I have worn everybody else out, or sometimes its because an object doesn't interrupt me when I'm on a roll LOL..
It's very irritating when people can't keep up with the conversation aswell!
You must be aware that the tiger toy could form a new delusion, if it hasn't already.

Will you contact a doctor? Please keep posting here aswell so we can keep and eye on you LOL.

Hugs

[ILADVOCATE]

  Lamictal can as a potential side effect worsen mania at times so if that has been increasing over time since you started the Lamictal that would be of concern. It would be essential to discuss this with your psychiatrist so they could decide what to do from there but in the meantime don't make any changes as regards the medication but do let them know as soon as you are able to. This may not be the cause but they should be aware of all this regardless.

[lindahand]

I'd ask to see your psychiatrist. Or at the very least ask for an emergency appointment with your therapist. You know this is not normal, and it sounds like the type of thing that needs to be treated. Maybe the Zyprexa is being affected by the lamotrigine. Who knows sometimes? Because your imaginary world is starting to slip into your regular world - may be the start of some psychosis.

Crazy is such a harsh word. I wish there was a better one. But reality is that we people with bipolar are crazy when in episode. The non stigmatized version of the word, and we have to reign in our symptoms otherwise we can end up in real trouble.