I am very sorry for the passings of your brother and father. I lost a sibling and my father also. I was still on mood stabilizers and not very well, so my meds got shored up. I was terribly distraught about them being gone and dreaded waking up and facing another day knowing that. The grief eases up. It took myself a couple of years before I noticed it wasn't so constant. Grief is very personal, so I won't pretend to know what you are going through.
I've tried almost every med, and combo incl. antidepressant and mood stabilizers. 3 yr ago we tried clozapine (a last ditch) It has been my "wonder drug". It's a hassle due to frequent blood tests to make sure the white blood cell count stays up. The the ceiling dose is 900 mg and I'm currently @ 325 mg, so there's plenty of wiggle room if needed.
Everybody responds to meds differently but for someone who is desperate it might be worth discussing with your dr.
Thanks for your concern and encouragement. I am very warmed by it. it's okay You misread me. I was talking about grief mostly. It's really great to hear your advice. I take it to heart and practice. warm smiles back and hugs.