College and Bipolar - Is it possible?

[bbkkb143]

I was recently diagnosed with cyclothymia, among other disorders, and am wondering how others with this disorder have managed as college students.  I was enrolled at a local college for the 2008-2009 year and the first semester went great.  Next semester, I'm flunking courses, and of course things just went downhill from there.  I was hospitalized after a suicide attempt later in 2009 which resulted in me getting treatment.  I am now on a mood stabilizer and anti-depressant but still experiencing ups and down.  Therefore, I am quite afraid to attempt to resume classes because of my fear that I will fail, and then hate myself even more if I do.  I would appreciate any feedback from others, whether college was a good or bad experience.  Thanks so much!

[bbkkb143]

Wow......congratulations on your success at such a difficult time.  I have a hard time opening up and letting people know what is going on, so I definitely need to work on those skills!  (It will be tough though, as I've not learned to depend on anyone else.  In fact, "I can do it on my own" has always been my mantra.  However, that hasn't worked out so well for me, so your post gave me lots to ponder.  I can't wait to get back on the right track.  Thanks so much, and take care, bbkkb143

[ApRiLGeTsAngry77]

I think it is importanat to have a couple months or more of stability under your belt before becoming a student. I just recently completed my degree and it can be difficult to be a student & have bipolar.

Most schools have an ADA policy that can help accomidate you if you would need any accomidations. I would check into that. Good luck and props to you for continuing your education!

[bpchrisb]

I graduated college a few years ago, but, at the time, I was just dealing with depression and GAD. They were manageable.

However, I progressed into BP disorder around this time last year. I was taking a full load of college credits towards another education endorsement... It was probably the worst experience of my life. I think the only reason I made it through it is because I teeter towards the agitated-manic side of the disorder and the only real relief I got from any of it was going to class and studying. I was lucky to pass, though, I was hospitalized the weekend before finals. The stress of taking finals didn't trigger anything; I had a bad mixed episode. Thankfully, when I told my professors what was going on, they were very helpful and gave me alot of leeway.

So, it is possible, but it's something that you have to monitor closely.. Work with the school, work with your doc and keep a mood journal so that you know when things are swinging.

[bbkkb143]

Thanks so much for responding and sharing your experiences.  It is heartening to know that others in my situation make it through, and knowing that, some of my fears about trying again have been dispelled.  So, time shall tell whether I can earn a degree as well.........bbkkb143

[Xila31]

I did much better in college than in high school. I went to community college and lived at home. I took a light load of classes, only 3 per semester, and was getting the highest grades in all of my courses. Sadly, I was not diagnosed or treated at that time and started having delusions and hallucinations and dropped out of school on impulse never to return. It was a huge regret, my goal had been to eventually go to university.

Three years ago I went to vocational school, which lasted 5 months, and graduated with honors. I was able to do this undiagnosed and untreated. This enabled me to get a job that I have now held for 2 years. So, you see, just because you have bipolar doesn't mean you will fail. And since you know what you have and are in treatment, you will have much better odds.

[moonpanda]

Just another note: you asked whether or not college was a good or bad experience. For me, it was very much of both. It's been... hard, for many reasons, often relating to my illness, but sometimes relating to factors out of my control. But I've also been able to study things that completely inspire and fascinate me, and I've had the chance to learn from the minds that are at the forefront of their fields. It might sound sappy, but I've proven to myself, my friends, and my family that I'm still intelligent and that I can persevere through the hardest times. So, it's been good and bad, but I suppose it was all worth it. Again, good luck!

[moonpanda]

I'm finishing up my last year at university right now, despite some very major academic problems that resulted from my BP. Like you, my first semester was excellent, but I flunked out when I started experiencing severe mood episodes. This was a significant shock to my system, because I was more accustomed to straight-A's than straight-F's.
Like ILADVOCATE said, one of the best things you can do to prepare yourself for getting back into the often overwhelming world of academia is to get in touch with the people at your school's Disabilites Office. In my experience, they provide not only excellent accomodations (like note taking, alternative test-taking environments, etc.) but they also serve as strong advocates, in case you feel yourself struggling again. If you can have weekly sessions with a counselor, and frequently check in with an academic adviser, then you'll be building an extremely strong base of support.

While it seems so daunting to return to school after a complete failure, you will ultimately end up learning some very invaluable lessons about how to work around your mind's self-sabotage, or just how to work with your unique brain. This took me a few years to get under control, but I'm back to earning good grades somehow. I had to work on letting go of my perfectionism, which is quite tough. It's so hard to resist just giving up, but if you keep pushing forward, and you know WHEN TO ASK FOR HELP, you can definitely succeed! It is absolutely possible. Good luck!

[ILADVOCATE]

It was worth it for me. I had to drop out of college because I had a full psychotic break. I went to a psychiatrist and explained that I thought I had ocd which was a bad idea because I shouldn't have self diagnosed. I was given Anafranil which given that I have the bipolar aspect of schizoaffective made me extremely manic and eventually more psychotic. I had to go to the psych. hospital (after having enrolled at another college) and then given the correct medications for me which were a mood stabilizer and antipsychotic but from there (don't know if that would happen these days) they let me go to college during the day while I was still hospitalized overnight. After that college was a very successful and important experience both in terms of classes, learning and socialization and prepared me eventually for working part time. As well in order to be able to get through college I used the services of the Office for Students with Disabilities which every college is required to have. With the various accomodations I needed I was able to acheive basically as well as anyone else. Sometimes at times its a matter of having treatment adjusted as well.