Please Read, its not a great day

[Twelvesgirl]

So I'm on Tegretol for mood stabilizing and Topamax for migraines, I think my aggression and outbursts ar getting worse. This cannot happen, I have 3 young children that I care for all day, I stay at home w/ them. I feel as though I am about to crack up, I told my husband, I told my mom, no one knows how to deal w/ this, neither do I. I just dwell on everything, I can't can't shut my thoughts off, I just keep thinking and thinking about things that **** me off. I have periods of OKness, but at the drop of a hat I could turn. Any small stressor I will cry or scream or yell or get so mad. It's Sunday, I'm afraid of what they'll do to me if I call them and tell them this on a Sunday, I won't go to a hospital...
I'll wait until tomorrow, I'll call and request an appt tomorrow or something, I don't thing the Tegretol is doing what it's supposed to be doing, I feel like I'm getting worse. I might be getting menstrual, but if its this bad every time...well it just CAN"T be this bad everytime. I don't know what I need from you all, I need some words from someone kind and someone knowledgeable. I am not doing well. Thanks.

[Twelvesgirl]

I'm not on BC pills, I tried them for years as a teenager on and off and now its on record as estrogen, progesterone are not good for me as extras of these give me crazy migraines! I have an IUD (no hormones). The nurse called back and told me to decrease Tegretol to 400mg/day (from 600) until I'm seen on Friday. So I just have to wait it out. I just don't enjoy feeling like I'm losing it. I can't. My family is a step-family, my son and I married a man and his 2 daughters. My son doesn't see his bio-daddy much, I'm all he has, I can't "lose it", you know. I hate waiting. I feel horrible right now, I've never been so angry and ready to go into a rage, this medicine has turned me into a mean woman. I don't like it, I don't like my kids seeing me like this, my son has never seen me like this. I DON'T WANT TO WAIT! But I will, and I will exercise once a day, and I will lock myself in the bathroom, or make them go to their rooms.

TO ILADVOCATE: I will definitely be bringing in some of the info in that I've been reading about on the website you put in that post. One of the meds they had talked about me being on is Depakote, and their is some interesting info on polycystic Ovarian syndrome, that does not sound good. Also, my daughter has a seizure disorder and we don't want her to be on that, so why would I be? After looking through the different medicines, it looks like maybe Lamictal may be the best, it says that is may sometimes induce mania or hypomania but responds well to treatment w/ Topiramate which is Topamax. So that might be good since I have to be on something that works well w/ topamax. Or maybe, who knows maybe they'll just try Topamax alone, I don't know, I just need to talk because I hate waiting.

I don't enjoy feeling worse w/ meds than I did before meds, but if don't stay on them, here in another couple of years I'll have an episode and be right where I'm at again, only next time my mania may be destructive, not quite as productive. Thanks for answering.

[bernie40]

Hi, ILAD is correct that Topomax is also used as a mood stabilizer, it's one that I've wanted to try (because of the weight loss) but it is not available as a mood stabilizer here according to my psych (I'm in the UK).

I don't want to be personal but are you on any kind of contraceptive pill.  I only ask this because the combined pill can have side effects which show up in your mood, such as irritability, depression etc.  The progesterone only pill is a much better option.

I recently went back on the progesterone only pill and my PMT has been much much better.  Our hormones can play havoc with our moods so it is an extra challenge on top of our BP.

I hope you get on well with the topomax.  I know what it's like to be stuck in the house with children, having  4 of my own.  I sometimes look back at when they were younger and wonder how on earth I managed.  They are still all school age but not as demanding as when they were smaller.

Anyway if you need to talk just drop me a PM.

Take care

[ILADVOCATE]

Topomax is a mood stabilizer that can work for some people. The main problem with it is weight loss. But for people who have gained weight from medication that can be a bonus. In fact it is being marketed as an appetite supressent. I do trust doctors but I well know they may not give me all the information about every medication. You can go straight to the medication website and find out why it works and what the side effects are.  I also don't presume that every psychiatrist will have heard of every medication or more importantly be familiar with its usage. I bring them information that's clinically accurate if there's something that appears useful. Its still their decision of course and some options I've asked for have been turned down (and there were good reasons why) but I also have had a fair amount of success stories. That's my approach.

[Twelvesgirl]

Well I made it to Monday.
Well, the Dr.'s might be switching me off Tegretol, I hope so. And what about Topamax? I'm on Topamax for my stupid migraines, and they just increased it by 25mg to a total of 100mg of Topamax/night. The Dr. thinks maybe thats whats causing the problems? I don't know, I have for some reason over the years learned to NOT trust doctors, I need to learn to trust them. Especially mine. Maybe go back down to 75mg where I was OK, and get off the Tegretol and on to something that will work better for me. I'm such a mess, I hate this.

[ILADVOCATE]

Tegretol caused personality changes in me. It can happen. As for other options there is that one website as well as:
http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/moodstabilizers.htm
and others linked up. Ask your psychiatrist about the other mood stabilizers that might work.