Redirecting Negative Energy: Reasons to Live?

[ILADVOCATE]

I do notice people sometimes experience suicidal ideations (can't say I am immune) and of course at that time the best thing to do is speak to your psychiatrist immediately. But if they just disrupt your moods or train of thought from time to time and not your whole life besides speaking to your psychiatrist I've found for myself one excellent way to redirect is to post one reason you want to live and why life is worth living, family, friends, goals, etc. and then keep going from there. Since its common to experience this, I'd be interested if people could just post one positive reason they want to live and why life is worth living even if they sometimes feel otherwise. Think about it.

[rmoore]

My wife and kids.  There's so much I want to teach my sons and so much more I want to experience with my family.  I get these thoughts,,way too often at times, but I've seen the devastation that is left when someone chooses to use suicide as their escape.  

[blacksoul004]

for my art. gad gave me a woundefull talent and if i let go id be wasting the gift he gave me. id be throwing away all i have to offer the world. and that makes me important.!!!

Heidi

[bernie40]

There are only 2 "real" people I see regularly outside of my own little family unit and that's only maybe once a week or a fortnight.  I find it easier to communicate via here, e-mail or facebook because it doesn't seem to matter how **** I'm feeling I can usually pen something but without having to put on a physical appearance.  Up until a couple of years ago I was very sociable, always out, having fun blah blah and I stay in touch with some of those folks and they understand that I'm not a social butterfly anymore.  Some of them on the other hand couldn't accept the change in me - I don't give a hoot about them anymore.

My mum gave some good advice a while back, she said "Helen, get rid of the dead wood from your life, it'll only drag you down" - she was referring to some of my so called friends.

A normal day for me is, drag myself out of bed and onto the sofa, drink first cup of tea, make youngest daughter's breakfast, sit back on sofa, surf the web, drink more tea, try and summon energy to go and get showered and dressed, some days I don't do either, somedays both and sometimes just one or the other.  Plod around the house making half-hearted attempts at doing something, surf the web some more, go to sleep in the afternoon, wake up when kids get in from school etc etc

That is a normal day.  Today is one of those days and I'm struggling to remain cheerful, trying my best to be a "good" mummy as it's my daughter's birthday.  I've now made the cake, still needs decorating and I need to prepare the evening meal.  No chance of a sleep but want to go back to bed.  Need to keep smile plastered on and my temper on an even keel until bed-time.  May well have sudden bursts of energy and even happiness - let's hope so.

I then have odd days, sometimes consecutively (sp) where the energy remains, I feel good and I get lots done.  I even go out the front door!  If every day were like that then my life would indeed be good.  This would be considered normal for the majority of folks but for me it is akin to a mania in relation to my personal "norm".

Thanks (I think) for saying I'm moderate and polite about life - truth is I'm too tired to argue anymore.  Used to be known as the one who'd get things sorted, or "don't cross Helen" etc etc - I've given up, don't want to keep on fighting for everything I can't handle it anymore.

Sorry for the "me me me me" post, and for bearing my soul.  I'm guilty of putting on a mask even in here and I apologise for that but I think it's just built in, so now you "see" the real me.  An expert at faking being "ok".  

[LetaB]

  Thank you, bulldozer. I know if I could stop feeling so stupid and full of SELF - self hate, self pity, self doubt - I would be more useful and easy going. I know I'm paranoid but truly some of what I fear is out there in store for me IS!
  You sure seem to know a lot of fun and affectionate people for one who doesn't get out much - REAL people - not only internet folks. How did that happen then? Also you seem to be more moderate - or at least more polite - about life.
  My life centers around my web contacts. My boys are at school and have social lives. My boyfriend's at work. This is what I look forward to when I wake up every day. I'd like to be more three dimensional but I'm continuing in this miasma. Today I hope to remember to contact the other psychiatrist available to me. If you don't hear from me for a while I'll be in treatment. I need an overhaul.

[ILADVOCATE]

Medication options will increase in the coming years. For more information google "psychmeds123". If what is available now can't help there will be more options that promote a fuller recovery in the near future. As I've posted working with researchers to acheive that is one thing that makes me want to remain here regardless of anything else that happens. Don't give up on treatment. It will improve as will your life and there are practical things you can do for recovery in the meantime. If your life doesn't have enough meaningful activities find things that bring happinness and enjoyment in your life. Depending on people's level of recovery there are mental health support group, psychiatric clubhouses and everyday activities that anyone can participate in. It certainly would be worthwhile to join your local NAMI group.

[bastet56]

I have no more goals, I've seen my sons grow and have their own kids and with my medication problems I truly feel that if I run out of medication options I would rather not stay. That said however, my other half has told me that if I off myself he will too and I don't want that haunting me in my next life or wherever I end up so I am stuck.
  I'm glad you can find the urge to live somewhere in yourself. I'm glad whenever anyone can find a reason that pleases them to stay here. I just don't feel it.