Hi this is my first time posting on this forum, but i find browsing old posts so helpful. esp when i feel this low - there is nothing can distract me so i feel safer reading about people going through the same thing.
i have not been manic in over a year - my meds are working well. i have always struggled more with the depression than the mania - but this has totally sideswiped me. i have been a bit weepy all week but today it is as if i am ina tunnel or a cloud or something i can't see my way out of and nothing matters except how much i want to leave life. i am not threatening to, i have made that mistake before, i have kids and a husband - and i know i have to stay however much i don't want to in this moment. there are life things going on, i had a big surgery 3 weeks ago - though i'm back to my regular routine. my mother in law is dying. but still this depression feels like i can't move. i cannot imagine ever being okay again. i am aware i sound melodramatic but it is truly how i feel tonight.
does anyone else get this sudden crushing depression - and desire to leave their life - or life in general. i feel sick with the knowledge that i want to go - i feel so bad for my family. but it is how i feel. can't see my way through right now.