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Should I forgive a cheating bipolar partner?

My partner has diagnosed bi polar and I have stuck by him for the past 8 years or so.  He has ignored me, screamed at me, lied to me and now cheated on me.  He tends to deflect any challenges back at me and wont be held responsible for any of his actions, rather blaming me (ie saying that I am the one who has lied, ignored, cheated etc).  What on earth should I do?  He is receiving treatment, I have offered for us to go to counselling together, but he just continues to lie and I feel I am on a stress roller coaster, not knowing what he will throw at me next?  Any advice?
2 Responses
973741 tn?1342346373
Well, this is just my opinion but no one gets a pass for cheating, mental health issue or not.  You've put in your time to someone who has not treated you well.  You don't have to stay with someone just because you've been with them a long time.  They do you wrong . . . no excuses.  This is a hard life you've chosen by being with this person.  I'd personally end the drama/chaos and move on.  good luck
1551327 tn?1514049467
COMMUNITY LEADER
I know what he says and/ or does logically do not make sense.  It seems as though somewhere in the relationship he has given you power over him because he realized that he was unstable.  You may have felt that you saved him at times from himself and that probably felt good.  However we who have struggled with imbalance often will give more than we have and expect more than you have back.  So the dysfunctional relationship is manifest as a consequence of expectations from two different sides that neither can ever fulfill.  It is ok though because balance amd harmony can be restored even in those relationships.  Unfortunately that sometimes means one must give up control and the other must accept it.  If you are the one who is to give up control in the relationship than control has either been given to you by him or you have taken it at some point not necessarily with bad intent but to try to fix something that you could no one peraon can fix alone.  If he has take or been given control than you should meditate on when that moment occured to find the answer.  Either way the simple answer is one of you is in debt to the other at this moment and it is an imbalance which causes dysfunction.  I cannot honestly tell you which is which but I can tell you that you know the truth.  All my thoughts are just my best efforts to reveal possibilities that you can use to discern the truth.  Good luck with your journey of discovery.
1 Comments
And what specialmom said should be taken in as well as not a seperate answer but mine and hers are two sides of the whole.  She is standing on the side of ending it while I am on the side of mending it and depending on what state of mind You caught me in I could just as well gave my best advise as being to dissolve the relationship.  I have said it before ans I will say it again.  I just happen to be in a resolve state of mond today.  You get to choose which way to take it.  Both will have their own challenges and benefits.
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