To RubyShooz and friends

[btsmith]

RubyShooz,
    I have cruised this forum a little more and see that your very active in it so I had a couple of questions.
    I was wondering that there seems to be alot of self diagnosis in here and not seen one mention of the MMPI or the MMPI-2 psychological testing exam.  Maybe things are different now but have you seen much pre-evaluation on this board.
   Also when I was diagnosed it was after an alcoholic binge that left me without a sense of who I was.  I was commited to a mental hospital, by a doctor, for evaluation and subjected to a battery of tests,once they got my vital signs under control. This is where I first heard the term bi-polar.  These hospitals are very low key with names like *Lifeworks, Cascadia, mine was called Pacific Gateway.  It was closed after some cops went in and shot a patient  here in Oregon.  You hardly notice them and probably someone you know visits them.  You can't call out and you can't drink coffee.
   They are full of different mental cases but mostly b-pers who are in really bad shape.  My roomate was an old hippie who didn't talk to me, he just smiled and after asking around, found out that 20 years earlier he was preaching the virtues of LSD and got a little extravigant with his beliefs.  He read his paper all day and a good day for him was if he didn't defficate on himself.  It wasn't til the very last day in there that I noticed he never turned the page.
   There was a beautiful young girl in there that had proved her coolness by taking 20   hits of something that fixed her pupils wide and forever. It made me sad cause she probably would never see her senior prom or any prom for that matter and when her parents came to visit her they just cried.
   But the worst were my little b-per friends who in the severest of cases just sat there, sometimes with their racoon eyes and bloodied mouths from the bite straps that prevented them from swollowing their tongues as they cranked **20,000 volts through their brains.  This blackened their eyes in hopes of jump starting their lives back from a depression that you or I will, hopefully, will never know.
    And for all  those of you on this forum that think you might be bi-polar or wannabe bi-polar, you better get down on your hands and knees every night and pray that your not.
   I did this to make people aware of the seriousness of this disorder and the drugs that are used to treat it.  Psychotic drugs maybe the most dangerous of all drugs as they are very complex, except for lithium, and when combined with the chemicals in our bodies react to people differently.   They usually are phase in / phase out for a reason and should never, ever, never be messed with.
btsmith

Thi is all true and would appreciate no questions or anything on this as it was hard to do and only after some thought as this may help did I deceide to do it.  There is a whole lot more to this and all of it I would like to forget.

*  the names here are real, except for mine, if anyone wants to google the info
**not sure the actual number but it is a lot, volts shock, amps kill

[Jikan]

If you weree confined to a mental hosital and went through MMPI and MMPI-2 testing, it was not an attempt to determine if you were specifically bipolar, but an attempt to ascertain your mental state , at that time. If they diagnosed you as bipolar I feel for you since it can be a very difficult condition to deal with. It is not curable, but controllable under certain circumstances. If you still use alcohol to excess, I  suggest that you try to reduce or eliminate it from your diet. As for your comment about psychotic drugs, I have to disagree.  Many advances have been made and with the right combination of medications. Lithium is not the only answer, as a matter of fact I never been on it.  Bipolars' also tend to have other issues which also need to be evaluated and controlled.  This is where your mental health provider comes in.  See someone, explain your complaints/concerns truthfully and you may find that your life will change for the better. Complaining about our conditiononly makes it more difficult to deal with. Try (although difficult) to maintain a positive mental attitude(PMA). I sincerely hope you continue to use this forum for the reason(s) it was designed. Regardless, I wish you the best!

[bernie40]

I agree with all the others.  I have not been on this forum for long but have found it by far the best one with regards to bp.  BP is a very complex disorder and each of us experiences it in a different way, no 2 people are going to be exactly the same (as is true in general).  I have not seen anyone self-diagnosing on the threads I have read all I have seen is scared and worried people trying to find answers and get support.  Some of us may be diagnosed some of us may be in the process of "entering" the world that is mental illness treatment.  There are always going to be differences of opinion but again I have found this site open to that without any falling out.  We all respect each other.  I don't know whether you were trying to say that unless we were like the people in the mental hospital then we are not bp (I apologise if I got the wrong end of the stick), but as I said before each of us is different and I think we are all aware of how awful it could be and maybe we do thank our lucky stars if we do not get that bad.

Regards,  Helen

[RubyShooz]

I agree with you and the other people who have replied.  You are right, nobody wants to be bipolar, but we are all here to help each other.  We do not try to diagnose or treat anyone's disorder.  In fact, people here are the first to recommend that a person seek proper medical evaluation and treatment.  I am here to share my own personal experiences in order to help myself by simply expressing my feelings out in the open, and also hoping to help others and let others feel they are not alone with this disorder -- many of us are having the same feelings, fears, self-doubt, etc.

You mentioned pre-evaluation, psychological testing exams.  I have never had those -- I guess my symptoms were so textbook that my doctor was able to easily diagnose my condition.  In any case, the treatment plan he recommended does seem to be helping me.  I don't think I will ever feel 100% "normal" -- does anyone even know what "normal" is???  All I can hope is to feel comfortable in my own skin, control the "bad thoughts" and be able to function one day at a time.  Of course, there always good days and not-so-good days.  I'm 59 yrs. old and recently retired, so sometimes I might have too much extra time on my hands to feel sorry for myself, although I do try to keep busy with a small part-time job, exercising, using the computer, reading, seeing neighbors, friends and family, going out to eat, etc.

I want to thank everyone on these boards because you have made this disorder so much more tolerable for me, you have given me different points of view and lots of information and things to think about, and I don't feel "trapped" by my illness and not so alone.  Hugs to all of you!
Ruby

[insearchof4]

I feel the exact same way as the others who responded.  This is a place for all to come without judgment and without scare tactics, which never work.  I, too, was in a psychiatric hospital and I saw some things that were unpleasant, but I would not repeat them to anyone (what good does that do??).  My experience in the hospital was what I needed to get the proper diagnosis by highly trained psychiatrists and to get proper meds.  Now 18 months later, my diagnosis of BP Type 1 has been verified by no less than a total of 4 psychiatrists, 2 psychologists and 2 neurologists...not to mention my regular doctor.  I have not noticed a lot of "self diagnosis" on this web site, though I"m new to it.  What I have noticed is how much it helps me!!  I love how supportive and reassuring everyone is.  Maybe we don't all say right off how we were diagnosed, but that doesn't mean that our illness is invaled...it just means that we are spilling all the details in the forum.  I don't want to be Bipolar...I fought the diagnosis for months.  But it's real and I have to accept it.  Now, I am looking for ways to find support and new friends....this is the best forum I have found so far.  I hope you are okay and seeing the brighter side.  That's the only hope.  Albert Einstein said, "There are two types of people in this world, those that see nothing as a miracle and those that see everything as a miracle".  I have come to embrace my life as it is...unconditionally

[Venora Moonwind]

I have to add a third agreement. We are not here to diagnose in no way.We do offer our life experiences with bi polar as to what has worked for us and what hasnt.It is importand for us bi polars to come together to share information and to let each other know that we are not alone in this bi polar struggle.
I myself try to help as much as I can . It is a way for to say thankyou for the help that was given me at my darkest bi polar moments and there have been many. I do what I can till can start my classes this fall to become a behavioral therapist to help bi polars or any mental health patients.
I often wonder about the ones that have posted a need for help and dont respong to the wonderful caring people here on this board but again I do what I can and even I help just 1 person It is worth it. I do not want ANYONE to suffer this needlessly when diet, exercise, meds and therapy can change it .And again thats my advice. that is what has worked for me and lots of other I know in my area.
and just like I say over and over again. Get a complete physical and get your thyroid checked Get evaluated by psychiatrist and go from there Keep in touch and let us know how you progress.
Love Venora

[jen21287]

I agree with Tyzer, this site has a warm and friendly vibe. I do not believe anyone on here wants to be diagnosed with this illness. The ones coming here asking questions about this illness because they believe they might be suffering from it are only trying to look for answers to their struggling. Everyone that has come to this board has struggled at some point in their lives. This shouldn't be a contest as to who has suffered the most, but rather help others in need and give advice. This board would not function if it were not for that. I came here when I was in need and received advice, now I try to help others. If you notice, when people ask if they are bipolar, they are always told to see a psychologist or psychiatrist for help and given advice on what to do in the meantime. I do not think using a scare tactic is helpful. Instead of terrifying people of the horrible extremes, we should be offering words of hope, encouragement and advice. When people are scared of the treatments, they do not take them; which can ultimately do more harm than good. Medications have come a long way and there are lots of options. People need to be well informed about the medications but not scared to death of them.

I am not arguing, I am just responding. This should be open for discussion and insight.

[Tyzer33]

I totally respect your post and your views but Without trying to get into an argument or come accross as being nasty i think you miss the point of this forum its all about people being able to ask questions and helping each other through their problems by giving each other advice and information about ther own experiences. You have obviously seriously suffered from mental illness which im sorry about nobody should have to, but so are alot of other people on this site. Without going in2 great detail about my situation -They have tryd to get me into a mental hospital twice and only for a newly formed home treatment team in my area ive been able to stay out. I self harm constantly my arms are a complete mess most of the time and the side effects i suffer from meds are extreme and this is me most stable and leading the normalist life in long time. The point i am trying to make here is that I have found great help on this site and feel i have been able to give a bit of advice to others and share things a lot of us do suffer and this is where we come to ease that. You have alot of wisdom on theis subject you could help alot of people here maybe that would be a better aproach?. Again please understand that I am not trying to take a shot at you or be nasty theres a gd vibe here and would be a shame to loose that.