Boyfriend with BP??

[lizz1978]

This is my first time here - sorry if I babble...
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. (he is 30 and I am 31)  I knew that he was different right away - but that just made me love him more.  At first everything was great - he was quiet and shy where I was bubbly and outgoing -  we complimented each other - or so I thought.
About 6 months after we met he had an "episode" where he completely cut me off and stayed in bed for 2 weeks.  When we did get together again he said that these "episodes" happened to him from time to time but that I was helping him to get past it. Things were great for the next 1 1/2 years...and then everything changed when we moved in together.Now he is so moody I can't keep up.  He accuses me of things out of the blue and then gets mad at me when these accusations upset me. He is always right and I am always wrong.  I am a cheater and a liar and I just don't do anything right - whether it is stacking the dishes correctly on the counter or driving the car.  He has become so embarrassing in public - being very loud and obnoxious not caring if anyone hears or sees because he doesn't feel that he is doing anything wrong.  He gets very angry at the smallest of things and while I believe that he would never hit me he has punched walls destroyed out mailbox and ripped the bathroom towel rack off the wall.
But then in the next moment he is sweet and loving....just like that...without an explanation or aplogy for anything that has happened.  And it can be great - for a week or a month or only a minute. I am constantly question my sanity - am I losing it?  Is it really me that has the problem?
Recently I lost my job and things have just spiralled out of control - he thinks that all I do all day is cheat on him.  This morning I dropped him off at work and he said "you don't have to put your bag in the car in the morning - I know you're not really going to the gym"  and then when I got upset he said that it was proof that he was right - what?!? He won't see a doctor and I don't know what to do - could he be bi-polar?  I have done as much research as possible and my story seems so similar to so many othjers dealing with this.  Any input would be appreciated.
Thank you

[Xila31]

Well, we try to help each other as best we can. I hope you and your boyfriend find the help you're looking for.

[lizz1978]

Thank you for your responses.  I have found this forum very informative.

[ILADVOCATE]

See if there is anyone else he knows who can encourage him to seek help. What he has potentially sounds like bipolar but only a psychiatrist would understand it in full but sometimes emotionally manipulative behavior can be part of a psychiatric disability but you still should not have to deal with but it might improve with treatment. If other people were supportive of the idea of him seeking help it might make the difference.

[Xila31]

Well, we are not doctors so we can't say for sure. It sounds like a lot of things. It could be bipolar but it could be something like borderline personality, or even other things, or a combination. It does sound like he has depressed episodes, hard to tell if he is having mania, though. It could even be the worst, that's he's just controling and abusive. (Although I hope not.)

I would say the worst thing here is he refuses to see a doctor. The only person who can help him is himself. Until he does something that forces him to see a doctor, which is usually a terrible thing like suicide attempt or hurting someone else, then there isn't much you can do.

I just hope you're in a situation where you can find a safe place if you need one. I'm sorry. :(