Weird Stuff

[jst4shanell]

So I am Manic1 rapid cycling.  Very hard to treat (but possible).  I have been full blown manic for about 2 weeks now.  My pdoc has me on Antipsychotics and adjusted my meds.  Now we are just waiting.  I am cycling really bad right now.

So suddenly I have started to talk to myself out loud.  Yesturday for about 4-5 hours.  I know no one is there and it's just me, but I talk as if it's someone else.  I can't stop.  I caught myself doing it at work (I own the place with 11 employees).  So you can see my concern.  I also do it in public.  I think because I do it so much at home, I don't realize i'm doing it in public anymore.  My boyfriend and I are not communicating at all.  Yesterday I holed myself up in my bedroom, lights out from 5:00pm  till 10:00 this morning.  I was talking to myself a lot of the time.  I did not want to have anything to do with my boyfriend.  I just want to be alone where I feel safe.

Here's the other thing.....I am unbelievably hypersexual.  To everyone else except my boyfriend.  Doctors, friends, clients, strangers on the street.  Any male who is very good looking.  Now my dentist (who I decided to have sex with) laughed a little weird when I said something.  No big deal right?  Wrong.  I took it as, you are not having sex with me, blah,blah, blah.  I was actually devastated all day.  Like I lost the love of my life or something.  I'm still very upset.  I know this is completely irrational, but I can't help this.  I wanted to stalk him.

So i'm going to get myself in a lot of trouble.  I'm not a cheater. But I know how to get what I want.   But i'm going through some really strange stuff right now and I i'm completely obsessed with it.  What can I do?  My pdoc is my next call but suddenly I want to have sex with him too......badly.  What do I do?  Just stay away from every male that I come into contact with?  I need some insight here.  Any suggestions would be great

[LeftCoastChick]

Hey there! I would be a bit concerned, when you said hypersexual, you are really putting yourself at risk. On top of that, you are, umm delusional if you are having conversations with "someone" else and are aware of it. What med have you been put on?

I really think you should head to your local ER, there you will be safe, they will change up your meds if you need it, I'm really concerned that you are putting yourself in danger.

I took myself to the ER when I really was suicidal, and manic at the same time. I just want you to be safe. There is no shame in going.

[jst4shanell]

Thank you ILADVOCATE.  You are always there when I need it.  I'm cycling bad.  Right now I feel like a million bucks.  Nothing can stop me.  Ask me an hour ago and it was a different story.  I have a bunch of Abilify here. It might be expired, i'll look.  I have some Geodon as well.  My pdoc gives me tons of samples.  Unfortunately I don't qualify for any programs.  I do have medical insurance but they cut my prescriptions off till January.  Thank you for being a support.

[ILADVOCATE]

If Geodon worked better for you then you should be on that. Or Abilify if you haven't tried that. Invega is good but doesn't seem to be working for you. Your psychiatrist can sign you up for the drug company to give you the medication free through the Patient Assistance Program. Or if you have no coverage at all google "Medicaid Buy In For Working People with Disabilities" and see if your state has it. And if you meet the eligibility guidelines apply. And your local independent living center could help with that. Here's a list:
http://www.ilru.org/html/publications/directory/washington.html

[jst4shanell]

I'm on 3 mood stablizers including Lamictal.  I think maybe the anti-psychotic needs to be changed.  I'm on a high dose of Invega and it doesn't seem to be working (obviously).  Geodon helped more but it's so expensive.  You know what I could get samples till the end of the year when my prescription insurance kicks back in.

I'm tired of this.  

[ILADVOCATE]

It sounds like you are rapid cycling and I'm concerned. I know you are on an antipsychotic but did try Lamictal? If you have I'll suggest some others but I know that was very helpful for me for rapid cycling. And be careful. It sounds like things are spiraling out of control. Speak to your psychiatrist about what's happenning now as this risk taking behavior will have consequences. You actually don't know what you want now. Things are out of hand. Wait before you do anything until the medications are stable. A person with bipolar can have a full dose of an antipsychotic and it may be extremely helpful but they need a mood stabilizer that works in addition and whatever you are taking is not.