trapped in my mind

[pcrissy]

Im honestly sick of fighting this mental illness, right now im wondering how one can suffer so much
in your own body , its like I feel trapped in my own mind , paralyzed, fighting your thoughts,
questioning your own mind for torturing you , for me it can be for hours it can all start with a thought
I know its stupid and irrational but as hard as a try to fight it it seems to win and throw me into a depression
followed by medication followed by more than you sometimes have some relief than wham back , if
we are suppossed to be happy then I dont understand how I am unable to be atleast only for short periods
then my mind constantly tortures me with phobias, stupid thoughts ,its a slow death where I wish was quicker
Makes me see that life is not worth it.currently in a bipolar phycosis .

[DWG1982]

I have gone through the same as what most of you described, almost 10 years ago, I have done many things to ensure I won't go absolutely crazy, and for about 15 years I have been dealing with manic super bad, for 6 years now I have controlled the bipolar with no medication, just about a month ago I have fallen 3 times into what I would describe as a black hole, only seeing what your life used to be before you were trapped, and slowly you are being attacked all at once by all these things you have been controlling, then I start to forget who I am, as I emerge from the dark tunnel, it's soo scary you want to cry, I'm scared to get stuck in my brain, not sure how much longer I can prevail, my wife and I are gonna devise a temporary plan tonight, maybe she can say a word or phrase as a mental trigger, assuming I will understand it . . .

[cHiNa_dOlli3]

I know exactly how u feel

[weaver71]

When I noticed I'm staring in a tunnel and it's just spiraling over and over, I try to not disqualify the good and my progress and hold into anything good. I can honestly say I do not feel it, but a I keep thinking about the positive as best I can. I am impressed that you posted in psychosis. I don't even know where I am by that point. I wish I had a better answer. I wonder if it's worth off and on too, many of us do, but try to keep faith that it is. Hang in there.

[pcrissy]

Hey, thanku, in a perfect state of nirvana is where I want to be,
for now simple things bring some happiness like my coffee,
going shopping , playing with my cat small stuff , I just wish happiness
wasent so hard to acheive, app it is for so many , the mind is a ever changing
State of emotion in which we have no control .help me get off this bipolar express to a nirvana.))::::sitting in heavan with hendrix and bob marley now
that would be nirvana .lol