Is seeking treatment now worth the increased stress levels?

[Fire_Star]

Hi all,

At the moment I'm losing my motivation to seek help once more. In the last couple of months I've been all over the place - overworking myself to intentions of suicide.

During this time I've been to emergency where a few doctors saw me and a mental health team, seen a GP and had a session with a psychologist.

Prior to seeing the psychologist, all I got from doctors and the emergency pdoc was "er, see us in 2 weeks if you feel bad still. We'll start you on meds" and they were unable to provide any assistance with long term help as I travel in and out of the city I'm currently in frequently. So no meds, no plan and no info on what to do with myself.

It really stressed me, finally I'm in a position where people are realising I have a mental health issue however, I feel I gained nothing from it to help me so it was upsetting. I ended up seeing a local GP who had no idea what to do other that ask if I want meds and gave me the referral for the psychologist.

The psychologist I saw was lovely. However, I haven't had a chance to see her since so haven't seek any more help. She believes I have bipolar but recommended to see a pdoc. In a couple of weeks I have an appointment.

Just waiting to see the pdoc is stressing me out and as so many docs have recommended meds, I'm also worried about being able to afford any of this treatment.

I don't think I want to keep looking into treatment and I think I'm growing into a denialist sort of mind set about if I am bipolar. Before I saw the psychologist, I thought it may be a mood disorder. Though I've been told by counselors/nurses (not officially diagnosed) that I have depression in the past, it doesn't explain all the other out their behaviour.

What am I suppose to do about the stress if it's triggering me? I've been mostly self managing my issues for years and have ignored advice to go to professionals in the past so I'm wondering how much harm I'm doing to myself...

[Fire_Star]

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I'm concerned about the progression I've made with my illness now. I now for sure I started having problems at the start of high school at least, but still confused about if it was bipolar or just teenage puberty etc more. I guess speaking with a therapist would help me figure that out. Rather confusing distinguishing my behaviour from a normal reaction etc to it being out of control because my brain needs help.

[Fire_Star]

It's not so much that I'm afraid of medication - it's the fact that doctor's that recommend and wanted to get me on it asap didn't really evaluate my history. I've had physical health problems in the past where I've been on high doses of medication, so I have to watch out on some things.

I'd gladly accept what medical science has to offer to manage my illness - I just want to be able to work with the doctors moreso instead of being stressed out by it. But I will definitely ask the pdoc on their recommendation of treatment and go with that. Unfortunately, I haven't continued seeing my psychologist as she's ill and in hospital currently. As I only started with her, I might just have to find someone else as I need to be in therapy right now and can't really wait for her to recovery.

[Xila31]

Well, it seems a psychiatrist mostly works with the meds, but a psychologist is the person you talk to about everything else. I would say if you like your psychologist go back and see her again. Talk therapy + meds is a good combination. I can tell you also that bipolar is a progressive illness, so it does get worse with time. Even though it does not cause any "visual" type of disability, such as a limp, it is not healthy for the body. It is a biochemical disorder, not just an emotional problem, which is why we need medication.

I know it is frustrating. I tried for years to just convince anyone I needed help period. The medicine can help but it can be hard figuring out the right combination. But, just hang in there, it is normal to be frustrated. I hope you start to feel better soon. Keep us posted!

[heyjude1]

Hi, it has been m experience that what you are experiencing will not go away on it's on.  As a matter of fact, without help (meds) it tends to get worse  The more stressed, the more chemical inbalance results.  Why are you so afraid of medication?  Medication has helped and saved the lives of millions of people.  Medication can treat the symptoms while you work with a therapist to learn how to handle your stress. i I also suggest you get to a professional...p-doc as soon as possible and  follow his instruction to get ou back on track.

Their are many county, state and federal programs to assist people with free or low cost doctor visits and medication.  Please check out mental heatlh assistance in your area.  

Please, don't give up, you have to do all you can to help yourself.  Thanks, Hey Jude.

[ILADVOCATE]

I would suggest that you think things over, find out about your options as regards treatment and have a discussion with the psychiatrist about what could help you and see how that works out. If things don't improve then you could see from there but it would be worthwhile to work with them and give it a chance.