Are you going through something particularly stressful in your life? A past addiction tends to rear it’s ugly head in times of high stress.
I am right there with you,havent touched meth;which by the way I wasnt a hardcore user but did quite alot of it last year;me and my other.Scotch I love,but can't too much and due to my recent hellish surgery removing all of my thyroid due to cancer;which sucks!;havent been able to enjoy anything I used to such a short time ago.I don't mind saying that I miss it too.But yeah I wish I could myself.best of it,lollipop.Sharatan
I thought that I was the only one to deal with this. When I am manic I tend to want to get high more often than when I am not. But even when I am not manic the urge is just ridiculous. I guess like you guys say our bodies crave these chemicals to sort of balance us out. I am learning a lot of stuff that I wasn't sure about before.
When I went to rehab, I learned so much about self medication it was almost as if I could get a certificate in psych. We tend to medicate with what ever we can durin periods of high stress. Lately, I find myself want to be numb. I want to drink or down pain pills. Some days I want the manic euphoria. I also stdy bipolar disorder to better understand what I am dealing with... The drinking and drugs fall into the smae categories of behavior as gambling and shopping, or even the sex. It all ties into the release of the bodys own feel good drug, endorphines. One reason why meth or heroin are used a lot by some of us, we found something that keeps us "there". The place we always ove. The untouchable place..
yes being that my mania is in full force i crave a drink so badly everytime i pass a liquor store it is hard. but lately i dont smoke at all, all of a sudden i want to try cigarettes and cigars. i crave it but i cant stand it. but that have subsided. now i am spending money i dont want to waste and craving sex
This isn't uncommon behavior for those with bipolar disorder. It sounds like you medication isn't helping and you may be trying to medicate yourself without realizing it. If your going through a manic phase right now, it would make sense that you would want to get really buzzed to try and come down a bit.
The only way to resolve this is to get on the right medication and then seek treatment for the drug use, if you want to get off.
I did the same thing for years without knowing I had bipolar except I took vicodin. I was put on a mood stabelizer and now I feel great and have been off drugs for 3 1/2 years with no desire to go back.
Best of Luck to you!!
I agree with Barribjorn and triedeverymed. They gave you GOOD advice...I was going to tell you the same thing but they covered it all. Listen to them, they're right! I know first hand!
Ah, a question that speaks to my OCD - Medical knowledge! LOL I'm a recovering alcoholic - Bi Polar and the answer to that question is really a matter of chemicals! Or really a "lack thereof"! GABA is the pleasure/pain neurotransmitter in our brain and most bipolars have a severe malfunction with it. (Along with Dopamine and Serotonin) Alcohol, Meth, Cocaine, etc all stimulate or decrease these chemicals. When I am manic I want a DRINK! Oh, in a BAD WAY! It's my bodies way of "selfmedicating"! I "self-medicated" myself right into AA so that's not an option for me today but the alcohol increased the GABA flow in my brain and actually regulated the mania. It unfortunately also, at some point in the drinking day, did a back lash (as all drugs will) and upped/downed my serotonin levels to the point where the depression set in! Serotonin is a funky little neurotransmitter! Too much - you go one way Too little - you go the other way! Depression or aggression! Meth and Crack and Cocaine are dopamine and adrenolerginic (sp?) stimulants. Dopamine is the feeling groovy neurotransmittor and regulates the pain receptors. Manic states usually involve high levels of dopamine neurotransmitters on brain scans and large areas of brain activity in those receptor areas. (It's all very fascinating, actually) SO - craving those things is normal. The bad part is actually doing them! It really messes with any meds you are taking and it is a bad way to "medicate" the mood cycles cause it can cause dependence and a backlash. See the PDoc - change your meds and stay away from mood altering drugs and substances...our moods are already "Altered" enough!
Hope all goes well
Wow! All these comments brought tears to my eyes! I want to get high soooo bad right now, and the past few weeks, that it's making me crazy!!! I am a single mother and I can not put my kids or myself through that whole scene again! It actually makes me feel a little better to know that I am not alone in feeling this way. Thank you!