Will there be peace?

[zzzmykids]

I love our youngest daughter.      She is brilliant, yet angry.  Loving yet not good for me.I am to the point of letting her go. If she cannot show me respect at age twenty seven and I can return to the bed for days, I cannot for my own health allow her to continue to live here 'till her wedding.
I'm a good Mom.  I have two girls, one is passive and loving with two kids and a husband.  The other is agressive, too smart for her own good and mouthy.
It is very important that she, after all her years of not having it to have honor and respect.  I know she loves me that is not the issue.
What's going to happen when she does not respect her husband, will he take it as I have?
I want her in anger management but she won't go.
Just really needed to vent.  Mad at husband for her bringing up and his passive nature being seen as it is okay to talk to Mom like this.  It is deffinately not!!!!!
zzzmykids

[ohanamama]

Vent Away!  That's what we're here for!  We all need a place to go that is safe, where we can say what we feel, and not feel at risk of retribution.

Families always amaze me!  The ones that should love and comfort us the most are usually the ones who inflict the most pain and damage.  You didn't ask for an opinion, but please let me share -- your daughter is an adult, as is your future son-in-law.  Your daughter's personality is pretty well formed by now and probably can't be changed unless she wants to and puts a tremendous effort into doing so.  Therefore, the best, and simplest, course to take is to protect yourself.  If that means having her move out, do so.  Or telling her certain subjects are no longer open for discussion.  Or asking your husband for much needed help.  Best wishes for peace and quiet, and a good long nap!

[ILADVOCATE]

Perhaps she has some issues of her own that need some coping strategies. I would suggest that she speak to a talk therapist and see if that helps. If there is anything more from there they notice they could make a referral. Complex as you have ever right to set boundaries but sometimes things are inherited so she might be coping with some of the same things we all are but only a psychiatrist could tell.