hello,
Several years ago I was hospitalized for a self-harm and was diagnosed as cyclothymic. I was put on more and more meds by my psychiatrist until I was taking 6 at one time (anticonvulsants, antipsychotics, antidepressants) and was no longer myself. I made a choice to go off all my meds cold turkey and see a new psychiatrist.
The new one had a much better reputation and told my he thought I was not bipolar and was simply an intelligent, artistic person with a lot of emotions.
I have not been in meds for 4 years now and perform well at work and all that. But I have extreme emotional outbursts all the time with panic attacks and often suicidal thoughts. I feel like I am in the verge of losing it all the time. When I work I work hard, day and night often with little rest for weeks until I crash. I am embarrassed of my moods and try to hide them. I have learned I think to control my manic moods most of the time.
I really hate myself and I feel like it's getting worse.
Does this seem like bipolar? Is there anyone out there with mild bipolar who has chosen to go without meds?