bipolar

[becky90210]

i think i am bipolar. i get very excited and restless and have nights where i just don't sleep because i have so many ideas and creative stuff i just have to do then and there. but then i get seriously depressed where i don't eat or even get out of bed i just lay there in the dark thinking i would be better off dead or away from everyone that i am nothing and i feel completly empty and emotionless. i have thoughts of death but have never acted on them and im worried that if i don't do something soon someday i will. my mood can be completly normal one minute and then jump to high for hours even days and then i just suddenly get hit with a bad mood where i pick arguements and all my thoughts hate the people i love. i tried to book an appointment with my local GP and they said it wasnt an emergency so i had to wait a few days but i need to know now.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

What the GP can do is get you a referral to a psychiatrist so you get in to see one much sooner than if you tried yourself.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

The GP WILL NOT be able to diagnose you with bipolar disorder.  Only a person specially trained in the mental health field can make such a diagnosis and it would be preferable if a psychiatrist did this over a psychologist.

[lindahand]

And if you get to a place where you are seriously considering hurting yourself. Like creating an actual plan not just thought. Get yourself to the Emergency Department. Don't play with fire. Once you've created the plan it may become too tempting to carry it out. I had my plan perfected except I could never figure out a way my husband wouldn't have to find the body. Should have gone to the ER at that point and didn't. I put my own life at risk because I was too scared to admit outloud what I was planning.

We lose too many people to this disease. Way too many.

[lindahand]

I can understand your desire for answers. You will need to be patient. Going to see a GP is the right place to start. They should refer you to a psychiatrist. Where I live that means a waiting list. Then the psychiatrist may not diagnose you right away. Often they want to wait a few sessions to get a better understanding of where you are at before diagnosing. It took me over a year to get a confirmed diagnoses, and I only got diagnosed because he saw the two distinct states in me. I did however get bipolar medication right away. He didn't want to risk putting me on an antidepressant alone because that can send bipolar people manic.

If you have bipolar what you describe would be a subset of bipolar called ultra rapid cycling. This is where your moods change in days. Most bipolar people have mood episodes that last months or at least a month. It is a very difficult subset to treat so it may take a few kicks at the can to get the meds right. It is because they are trying to treat uppers and downers at the same time.

Stigma is a tough thing and I am afraid that one doesn't change easily. Some people will come around - others won't. One brother completely ignores it, the other brother is uncomfortable if I mention it (they still love me to bits and I them - it is just this one thing they are weird about). But they are that way with all emotions. The rest of my family accepted it. A few of them went 'that explains a lot'. I should qualify. I am bipolar 2 not one so I don't get the manias just hypomanias and mixed states.

It is tough but you are going to have to be patient. There are other mental illnesses this may be such as borderline personality disorder or physical disorders like thyroid problems and only the psychiatrist can properly diagnose you.

[more0then0a0virus]

I undestand the anger... I hurt myself only once with piece of glass, but because it was fun. Usually I write what I want to do to myself. Awful things...

It`s really good you stopped w/alcohol... That`s something, I`m still stopping. It˛`s my forth day...

That`s a tough job... I couldn`t do it. I don`t know how to approach people either when I`m in my depressing world. Have you got some periods or time or just mood swings during the day?

Your dad probably can`t accept the fact you have a problem, because he would blame himself... I`m sorry about that.

Try to ask your friend to pay more attention on what you are saying. But I understand, because I tried to talk to my "friends" about some things and they don`t have anything to say because it`s exhausting for them to listen the same things that I am going through all the time, and then they don`t say anything on my statements anymore... They are unable to put themselves in our position....

And I hope you`ll get your answers soon too...

[becky90210]

hi thanks for getting back to me :) and GP is doctor lol i have seen a couslor before (low budget phychiatrist) but that was about anger and that i used to get soo angry i would punch a wall i broke bone in my hand the last time and havent done it since but i always get the thoughts when im on a downer as i call it...i always wanna reli hurt myself or see my blood always and in the past i used to do it. i used to abuse alcohol too i turned up drunk to college before! all of these ive managed to kick but i still get epic downers and really high highs i get sooo over the top happy and excited that people think im drunk or drugged! i was told not to take the medication they offer you by a friend who has bipolar im just soo confused you know...my job doesnt help im fundraiser that raises money for charity by asking people to donate on the street and we have to be over the happy all the time and on downers that just aint going to happen. but thankfully my friend with bipolar is also my boss. some of my friends know whats going on but the whole truth type thing and my mum know i tried to tell my dad but he kinda just ignored it. i dont have very support system since my best friend forgets about it and always asks me why i act the way i do or why im so unhappy when im on a downer :(

i hope you get the answers you are looking for

[more0then0a0virus]

       The exact same thing happens to me. But, I`m also depressed long period of time, and last few days again I`m mostly manic and so into things, even though I get depressed on hour or two because ppl are judgmental to me and want to have serious talks with me, and due to my problems with alcohol use.
       I also question myself if I am bipolar, so when you talk to your shrink, I would appreciate if you would share with us what he had said. Just post comment here. If you want to...

      No one here is an expert, so we can`t give you a diagnose. Decision to talk to psychiatrist is great(if GP means psychiatrist. I`m from different country and English is not my maternal language), and you have to be patient for few days... How long do you have to wait? Only he can tell you what is the problem... Be honest with him. no matter how hard it is to talk about some stuff..

     Someone with more experience will answer you soon... Best wishes...