frustrated

[daska]

I have been seeing a psychiatrist for many years who says I have PTSD... with good reason. But I have had some pretty scary episodes of very intense rage resulting in physical pain to my significant other leading to amazing remorse and depression for hours on end coupled with a lot of internal conversations(talking to myself not out loud). I get so enraged thinking some injustice has been done and the results are worsening. Went to the emergency dept of a psych hospital twice to be told «I could possibly have BPD or Bipolar disorder. When I told this to my actual psychiatrist of more than 10 yrs he replies he is a Borderline expert and does not say anything about what I had possibly been diagnosed with. So what is my next step to finding out what is happening? I know something is wrong with me due to the intensity of emotion. I need to know

[realtomatoe]

I would seek a second opinion. Many of the symptoms of PTSD overlap with BPD. You may want to think of finding a new doctor also. 10 years is a long, long time to see one doctor. Just from what you wrote, the doctor seems to have an ego trip. One that hinders the care of his patients.
I have BPD, have had episodes of violence, and extreme anxiety. The anxiety can have the feel of paranoia. For me- I found that adding busbar to my BPD meds has made these very manageable, they don't get out of hand and I don't get out of control.
Take Care

[therese83]

It amazes me how useless some of these doctors are.  What is that 'numb you out'  my god I cant believe someone with medical training said that.

I cant believe the treatment some of the people here are getting.  You could find out more information yourself than what you are getting from your doctor !

These doctors seem quite happy to let people suffer on, who knows what the consequences could be and they have no consience.

[horselover65]

I agree that you would probably benefit from a new psychiatrist. It could be that you have PTSD and bipolar. I have those and other things; we have started with treating the bipolar and the other issues will be treated according to severity. It will help you to see a new doctor who has a fresh perspective, especially if your current doc is not taking your concerns seriously. My previous psychiatrist did not listen and the whole thing turned into a huge waste of time and money. I know how hard it is when you keep repeating things that are significant and causing serious problems, but are ignored - and when things are escalating, the fact that you're ignored only seems to exacerbate the issue. One important goal is to be functional and that will not happen if you are "numbed out". Good luck. I hope you see someone else very soon.  

[monkeyc]

I worry when a doctor uses the words "numb you out".  Thats not his job, his job is to treat you not knock you out.

I suspect he sees you as a patient and thus an appointment payment, you mention this guy is a long term doctor of yours?  Right now I think you need to get a new doctor, one who wants to work with you rather than prescribe and sedate you.

Many of what you have described are bipolar symptoms - the rage, the paranoia and yes sadly even the violence can be traits but you need to get a diagnsosis from someone new who does not have a preconceived idea of what you have and wont lok further as it seems this one has.

This site may be usefull to understand some more about Bipolar symptoms and treatment.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=91

Stick out out, get a new doc, if you are BP or not there are treatments that can help ! And remember youre not alone, there are people here who will help as best we can.

[daska]

Hi. Thank you for the support. It really feels good to know that maybe there is something really serious happening and really frustrated to know that someone I trusted who has quite the reputation at the hospital he works out of has misled me. He told me he could numb me out with meds but I guess he maybe thinks I am making this stuff up about the rage and the loss of control. I have gotten into such an enraged state that I have had to literally fight back the tears and the fact that he doesn't call back to rearrange an appt really ticks me off. That is exactly what triggered my last episode 3 days ago that I am only coming out of NOW! I am wondering if he is trying to provoke me and oh yeah I am getting paranoid thinking he is doing all this on purpose. Is any of this part of Bipolar... the rage and its serious violent episodes, the paranoia.? I need to know. I have written to the hospital's patient services and hope they call me soon

[LeftCoastChick]

I have to back up what monkey said, I left my last pdoc because I wasn't getting anywhere with him, and he wasn't dealing with my repeated requests to get some sort of meds for my anxiety, which was crushing me.  I didn't have a pdoc for the longest times, because there just aren't really any that are taking patients out of hospitals. I finally went into hospital because I was in such a bad state.  It's important you do get help, the worst thing is suffering, but you don't know what it is.  Keep writing, keep venting and keep learning.. Get a different pdoc!

[monkeyc]

You need to seek a second opinion if you are not getting the right support from your current psychiatrist.

You describe rage, paranoia and possibly psychotic elements in your post, these would indicate to me you need help and you need a clear diagnosis.

If this has escalated to the point where physical violence is a manifestation of the rage then I would think you need to do this fairly urgently.

Does your doctor have you on any medication?  If not why not?  Has he done anything to treat the rage?  Why PTSD?  has that been his diagnosis all along?