why is it either a physical or emotional connect, never both?

[afraid2love]

Well, because of my moral standards, I actually have never given in totally to the strong desire to be promiscuous. While some women long for the white dress with a beautiful procession of bridesmaids, I almost obsess over the idea of having multiple partners. Good thing they remain as thoughts rather than illicit acttions. On the other hand I have put myself in numerous situations where I could have easily been raped. With the worse being going home with a random guy that lived in the woods. I have sought out so many different men during moments of depression that I can't even remember each face or name. Past fooling around, I haven't slept with any of these men. The problem now is my inability to have both an emotional and physical connection with just one person. Its almost as if the two must always remain seperate. Either there is a deep trusting bond emotionally or a physical warm body to provide nothing more than sexual pleasure and emotional release. This makes me feel I will never have a healthy relationship if I cannot invest both emotional and physical closeness into just one person. As crazy as it may sound, although I have been technically rather physically chaste, I have allowed strangers to go far beyond the limit of what is reasonable. I feel I have bn emotionally promiscuous because during times of intense depression, I have given so much of myself to random men in hopes that opening up to them emotionally could provide a sense of comfort. Unfortunately, all that has come of it is that I'm devoid of emotion although wanting to be in a relationship. I'm afraid however, that I would have nothing left to give. Being bipolar is like saying leave me alone, I'm lonely, comfort me but because you couldn't possibly understand how I feel, I'll give myself to someone who doesn't know or care about me all.  ....please post if u understand. ... thx.

[afraid2love]

You are soooooooo kind! You know, a friend has encouraged me to just fall in love with me. I'm trying but having the worse withdrawals. Lol. Never realized how emotionally dependent one can become on another, almost so dependent you can forget who you are, what self-healing is and how to be whole. Congragulations because seems you have arrived! To love one self is one sure way not to end up brokenhearted. And with a whole heart it is possible to love wholeheartedly which sounds so free and unrestrained! When I grow up, I wanna be just like you! The fact you are happy as you take time to grow personally reinforces that this type of happiness exists and is also necessary. Continue enjoying your journey of self love, anyone else you meet along the road is just a bonus. (For them in fact) ... thankyou for replying. I really needed that.  :)

[afraid2love]

Thank you so much for replying, I was checking to see if there had been comments quite frequently. This whole community is kinda new to me. How happy I am to have someone like you, someone like me to shed light on even my subconcious thoughts and emotions. What is more, your response was like a gift given to me in the form of heartfelt words of wisdom. Can't thank you enough. ... may you always find comfort even on your darkest nights and may you smile as radiantly as the sun on your best and brightest days! :) ... thanks.

[Bubulous]

I can relate a little but I do get a little promiscuous when I am depressed.  I don't to but it feels good to have a little affection even if it is physical.  I am waiting for that emotional connection that leads to physical instead of the other way around and I have felt it before but it was short lived.  Mostly because of my mood swings.  I believe there and I think it means learning from everyone of them.  I learn when to focus on myself and not to fall into obsessive behaviors when I am actually in a relationship based on love rather than lust.  I believe that you can conquer this because you sound like a strong sweet person but you have to be patient and not give up.  I may be one of the few out there that really wants love and trust but it doesn't mean there is not one that you may find someday who will give you that.  None of us are perfect so don't feel too guilty about what you have done just learn and grow.  Love will find you when you least expect it and I believe you will find it.  When you do just be careful with your behaviors and don't be obsessive like me.  Like I said I can't truly relate but I wanted to give you a response and if you take something from it that is great.