Aa
selective memory loss
Been in a relationship with a bipolar disorder person ( i believe) and after a while into the relationship , she has the notion of hurting me in the situation when she is very much emotionally involved with me as in romance etc. Seems like she loses herself and starts scratching me . i kind of ignored earlier but when i wake her up kinda thing she completes looks puzzle and asks me dis she hurt me kinda thing. She also did mention lets breakup coz its gonna get worst then this but i must admit i was adamant and was sure i can find a solution for this and we can be happy together. Then came a point whereby she went through the same episode and woke to ask me did she stab me and when realized no, she went on saying this has to stop kinda thing since next she will go to suicidal mode etc. She also went on i just cant be as normal anymore to you since my mind has already shutting u down. That evening when i got in touch with her , she told me that its happening and she was somewhere alone in her office not sure what she was trying to do neither any recollection how she got there. She was infact awaken by the cleaner lady thankfully she said. She said "i love u more then my life" to me and that's the problem . The next day when i got in touch with her , she acted as though she has no recollection of what we had in between and she seems to have memory loss on all the places and events that she has been and was with me. She even started calling me by my real name instead of dear or darling how she used to. She is also doing her studies now, and i'm confused to whether to help her to recall things that we had in the past or let it be as not to distract her from her studies and help her to recollect once she is done with her studies and then seek medical help so that we can be on track again.
I really hope it works out for you but it is not an easy road .I was in a relationship with a fast cycling Bi Polar girl for 2 and a half years I have never felt so much love for anyone in my life . I have held her through countless hours of deep sobbing depression and the horror of finding her hurting herself with razor blades , accused of all sorts of horrible things . She also says terrible things about her parents that are simply not true . I have read everything there is to read on BP and thought she was worth the fight to try and ignore all the bad times to try and help her. last week she disappeared.and was not contactable at home or by phone or facebook and ignored all my messages to her it was an absolute nightmare of worry . Yesterday two police officers came to my place of work and asked to speak to me privately and informed me that she had made a complaint that I was stalking her , they gave me a warning not to contact her or I could end up with a criminal conviction. I love this girl deeply but enough is enough my own mental health is suffering and I cant take anymore .she has messaged me saying she is sorry but I just cant do it any more despite the pain of losing her I have to or I feel I will lose my mind with stress.
As to my previous post, her memory of me came back after a few days slowly and gradually and we were back normal until recently. Is these cycles of selective memory loses are normal i.e in a bipolar person, it's even beyond them on what they chose to remember etc but their brains takes over on what they should be remembering and not to suit a particular situation and once the situation is over or primarily the person is much at ease or out of stress the memories come back to pick up where they left . Hence is patience and understanding that matters in particularly in bipolar person . Can i also say that the memories will definitely come back since its there but suppressed but what matters is when.
Yes of course if she ever had those feelings they are still there. The thing is...
Over time feelings become these fleeting things. In a relatonship with any one, much a person with bipolar, you hae to create new feelings. Sometimes she may want space and sometimes she may need comforting. Just take it one day at a time and rest assured her feelings are working just like they are supposed to. You are doing everything you can so don't feel bad.
That being said,try not to obsess too much about her state of mind. You cannot understand it and if you try to predict what it is going to be like you will find yourself mistaken a lot. Listen as much as possible and talk little. I appreciate that you are trying to make this work because we can be difficult but the rewards are worth the risk.
Over time feelings become these fleeting things. In a relatonship with any one, much a person with bipolar, you hae to create new feelings. Sometimes she may want space and sometimes she may need comforting. Just take it one day at a time and rest assured her feelings are working just like they are supposed to. You are doing everything you can so don't feel bad.
That being said,try not to obsess too much about her state of mind. You cannot understand it and if you try to predict what it is going to be like you will find yourself mistaken a lot. Listen as much as possible and talk little. I appreciate that you are trying to make this work because we can be difficult but the rewards are worth the risk.
Hi , I'm in a relationship with a bipolar person and as much as it is stressfull, i would really want to help her and take her step by step until recovery. She is also persuing her phd and being an emotional person and a bipolar , most of the time she did confess that she would just day dream about us and that has greatly impacted her papers whereby she is behind schedule and under lots of stress. The problem started when seems like overnight she forgot or dont feel the feeling she had for me anymore. Nevertheless she remembers how it felt but now its just not there kinda thing and she cant understand why. My only conclusion is that , her mind has created a condition to condition her mind to have the papers as her priorities hence shunning anything that could hinder the priority. And i keep assurring her that this is temporary and the feeling will be back after she completes her papers. Pls share your views whether will the feelings be back as i love her too much and dont want to lose her.
Thx , really appreciate your reply. As i mentioned earlier , as she was also pursuing her phd, i realize that she is also shutting me down to have the phd as her priority in her mind. She did mention prior that as much she tries to concentrate consciously, but being an emotional person she is, she will just end up day dreaming or wandering away. When i spoke to her on this phase of not even remembering even for a good night or morning . She was also surprised why since she can still sense the good feeling but just cant explain why she just cant remember me even to have the notion to wish etc. My interpretation was that , as beautiful her mind is, without her knowing, it has conditioned a condition whereby im put to a least priority and the papers has been made to cloud her mind or the position which i was prior. My only hope is that this is temporary until she completes her paper. Pls share your views as i love her too much and dont want to lose her
The relationship may be causing extra stress in her life. I agree that she needs help now but if she is not willing to do that just try to support her and understand that this is part of our process. Anyone that is caught in the wake of this type of episode is going to become stuck in the vortex. Your life may not matter anymore when you find yourself worrying about her. This is too much for you to handle and I would advise that you not get too caught up in it.
Like Weaver said- it takes a lot to be in a relationship with a person who is bipolar, especially if they are not seeking help.
Please come back and let us know how she is doing. You can find support on this forum and I am glad you found it.
Like Weaver said- it takes a lot to be in a relationship with a person who is bipolar, especially if they are not seeking help.
Please come back and let us know how she is doing. You can find support on this forum and I am glad you found it.
I am assuming your friend has been diagnosed bipolar, as you are posting on a bipolar forum, or you must think she is anyway. Well, with any mentally interesting person, I believe the first place to start is with diet, exercise, therapy, and meditation, unless one is in a psychotic or catatonic state, which I have felt both, then starting with meds could be the first step. Once one is as healthy as they can be, then find meds or other nutrients to fine tune it, if they are still necessary. I honestly do not believe meds are enough for most bipolar, there is no easy fix. I think that is true for all mental issues, being as healthy as possible is the first step.
For example, my son is retarded, meaning slow, not severely, but he can't read, write, or tie his shoes very well at 11. Doctors say that less than 1% of children have his specific set of symtoms, there really is no word for whatever makes him unique. Had he not been homeschooled, he would be on meds, but he really doesn't need them, he just needs special considerations, like he moves up a grade, even if he doesn't pass all the work. In my addiction recovery, I studied and found how important amino acids are to building a stable and strong mind. So, I started giving my son Muscle milk for breakfast every morning, it's packed with amino acids. After a couple of weeks, I noticed less melt downs, better focus, and a generally more happy kid. It didn't make his condition go away, but made it much better and easier to manage. I find the same to be true for my bipolar and addiction, I can't make it go away, with or without meds. I can help some symptoms and develop coping skills though, which help me from having so many meltdowns, I can focus more, and am a generally happier person. No one thing has made me able to manage, and I have yet to see people on meds who say the bipolar has gone away for good. No matter what else she does, she will need therapy, healthy diet and personal care, and some time and space to experiment with finding balance. That is, if she is trying to find balance. Many of us like the mania, so we wait until something really bad happens, before we seek help.
I think of my wife as a hero, as I don't think I would have put up with me as long as she has. We bipolar are a unique bunch, we come in many flavors, yet many of us are inspired, creative, idealistic, on top of all the other negative things that come with bipolar. If the benefits outweigh the cost of being with her, then according to my wife, it is worth helping a partner find their balance. That is a personal question that I suggest you ask yourself very seriously, "Am I willing to potentially go through years of experimenting, to help her find a way to balance out?" And, just because she finds balance, doesn't mean it will be forever. Most bipolar I have met make it 6-10 years stable, maximum, while most of us seem to have issue much closer together than that. It is a huge commitment to marry or be in relationship with a bipolar person, that is for you to decide. "Do the benefits outweigh the cost, for both of you?"
For example, my son is retarded, meaning slow, not severely, but he can't read, write, or tie his shoes very well at 11. Doctors say that less than 1% of children have his specific set of symtoms, there really is no word for whatever makes him unique. Had he not been homeschooled, he would be on meds, but he really doesn't need them, he just needs special considerations, like he moves up a grade, even if he doesn't pass all the work. In my addiction recovery, I studied and found how important amino acids are to building a stable and strong mind. So, I started giving my son Muscle milk for breakfast every morning, it's packed with amino acids. After a couple of weeks, I noticed less melt downs, better focus, and a generally more happy kid. It didn't make his condition go away, but made it much better and easier to manage. I find the same to be true for my bipolar and addiction, I can't make it go away, with or without meds. I can help some symptoms and develop coping skills though, which help me from having so many meltdowns, I can focus more, and am a generally happier person. No one thing has made me able to manage, and I have yet to see people on meds who say the bipolar has gone away for good. No matter what else she does, she will need therapy, healthy diet and personal care, and some time and space to experiment with finding balance. That is, if she is trying to find balance. Many of us like the mania, so we wait until something really bad happens, before we seek help.
I think of my wife as a hero, as I don't think I would have put up with me as long as she has. We bipolar are a unique bunch, we come in many flavors, yet many of us are inspired, creative, idealistic, on top of all the other negative things that come with bipolar. If the benefits outweigh the cost of being with her, then according to my wife, it is worth helping a partner find their balance. That is a personal question that I suggest you ask yourself very seriously, "Am I willing to potentially go through years of experimenting, to help her find a way to balance out?" And, just because she finds balance, doesn't mean it will be forever. Most bipolar I have met make it 6-10 years stable, maximum, while most of us seem to have issue much closer together than that. It is a huge commitment to marry or be in relationship with a bipolar person, that is for you to decide. "Do the benefits outweigh the cost, for both of you?"
Seek psychiatiric help at once. She needs to be evaluated. Try to find a psychiatrist that has mental hospital experience.
It could be as simple as getting her on some medication to balance the chemicals in her brain. She'll be a lot happier. Then you can truly see where this relationship is going and if you wish to stay in it.
It could be as simple as getting her on some medication to balance the chemicals in her brain. She'll be a lot happier. Then you can truly see where this relationship is going and if you wish to stay in it.
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