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My girlfriend was just diagnosed with Bipolar 2
My girlfriend of over a year has just been diagnosed with bipolar 2. Ive been saying that there was something mentally wrong with her for a year now. I kept thinking it was bipolar 2 for over 6 months. The therapist and Dr. finally said that indeed she does have bipolar 2. It has been a very hard rocky year, arguing and fighting for over a year has put a lot on this relationship. Im willing to fight through all this and hope the medication and support helps her through this.
My BIGGEST concern to date is all the information I have on Bipolar 2 makes me very,very worried she will cheat on me. From what I read that hyper-sexuality and making poor dangerous decisions when in mania. She has been very promiscuous in her past. She has had a lot of partners and never a real relationship. She had a "thing" for police officers in her past and would sleep with them for partly that reason. Here I am today with this knowledge, her just have started a new job at a sherriff office/jail. This is very troubling to me and makes me very worried for the above information. I have a fear that she might get "upset" with me, get into a manic state and do something irrational, especially in her work setting. She says she loves me and would never cheat on me, that it is "crazy to think that". Am i wrong for feeling this way or over reacting. I feel like this bipolar business has been a terrible burden on this relationship and could cause some serious damage down the road.
Please help me. Im really torn up about this and feel very alone.
My BIGGEST concern to date is all the information I have on Bipolar 2 makes me very,very worried she will cheat on me. From what I read that hyper-sexuality and making poor dangerous decisions when in mania. She has been very promiscuous in her past. She has had a lot of partners and never a real relationship. She had a "thing" for police officers in her past and would sleep with them for partly that reason. Here I am today with this knowledge, her just have started a new job at a sherriff office/jail. This is very troubling to me and makes me very worried for the above information. I have a fear that she might get "upset" with me, get into a manic state and do something irrational, especially in her work setting. She says she loves me and would never cheat on me, that it is "crazy to think that". Am i wrong for feeling this way or over reacting. I feel like this bipolar business has been a terrible burden on this relationship and could cause some serious damage down the road.
Please help me. Im really torn up about this and feel very alone.
My boyfriend has bi polar disorder, and we are trying to rebuild after a manic episode where he cheated and then left me for someone else. Here is what I have learned: when someone experiences mania or hypo mania, they believe they are making all the right decisions and convince themselves they are doing what is best for everyone. My boyfriend's mania manifests itself via infatuation- where he becomes attracted to someone and then believes within days he is madly in love. This happens often with manic episodes. And to further complicate things, bi polar victims often experience mixed episodes, and it can be hard to identify if they are tipping to mania. When he crashed, he was hospitalized. Once he was clear headed again, and discharged from the hospital, he came back to me. The good news is that he is much more aware of his mania: what triggers it, what behaviors accompany it, and how to avoid it in the future. Before this crash, he had mostly experienced debilitating depression. We can now see where he has had hypo mania episodes in the past; often brought on by self medicating or over medicating. I'm sharing this with you because treatment is SO important. Where is your girlfriend at in her treatment? We have discovered that treatment is a long, and often frustrating process. He was diagnosed a year and a half ago, and has tried every combo of meds you can imagine. He is finally getting some relief, but I know everyday is a struggle for him. Taking him back and working on fogiving him is really difficult. But his actions were a result of his disorder. I don't like to say " he is bi polar" I say "he has bi polar disorder"- because HE is not this disease. you wouldnt say someone with lymphoma "is cancer." Loving someone with bi polar disorder is incredibly difficult at times, and you need to decide now if you want to be someone's caregiver. It's a tough road, but there can be really great rewards- but only if your significant other is committed to getting better. This too has been a struggle for us. Bi polar depression robs individuals of hope, and makes it tough to seek regular and on going treatment. Yes, I worry he will cheat again. And yes, I worry that I have invested an incredible amount of love and time into someone who may not ever be able to give me what I need. But I know that he truly wants to be well, and I believe he can be. When he is well, he is a wonderful man that actively cares for and loves me. But when he isnt well, it can be lonely. My advice would be for her to seek other employment, so that if she does experience hyper sexuality, there will be less temptation. This isn't full proof, obviously, but she needs to take steps to protect herself- especially early in her diagnosis. And I have found that talking to someone experiencing depression or mania about relationship problems is counter productive. I have just now discovered this. so now we are taking a 2 week break from discussing the past, or our problems. i think this is important while he is recovering from his crash. Discuss treatment options, and seek couples therapy as well. Set boundaries for yourself, and stick to them. if she is not actively sticking to a treatment plan, then set yourself free. Believe me. Loving someone with unchecked bi polar disorder is the equivilant of ripping out your own heart and stomping on it. i hope that things improve soon for both of you. And though its hard to see at times, the woman you love is still in there.
Are you asking if it's normal for any woman to think what it's like to have sex woth anyone who is a cop and habe a passing thought of having sex with them or if it's normql for q bipolar woman with bipolar 2 to want to have sex with cops? There's more going on here then just "talking about sex." That's not talking about sex. That's a pointed statement....at jealousy and insecurity. At least, from my point pf view. If a guy said that to hos girlfriend, what would that be all about. This sounds more like teust and egging eqch other on and reacting emotionally without thought.
As Insaid before, you're not even able to think above all this. Sorry, even though youbsaid before that you both were communicating well, you weren'. For one thing, you're not even communicating with yourself.
I'm bipolar 2 and a woman, and I'm not chasing tail all over the place when I'm stable, hypomanic or whatever. I did when I was in my 20's and 30's but it doesn't mean I would do so when I wasin a committed relatnship. I said no to men at work, even though I really liked them, even was attracted tobthem, but I didn't cross the line. Even when Ibwas hypomanic, I didn't cross the line, because I cared and couldn't hurt the one guy I was with. By the way, yes, when I was young, I had a relationship with a married man, and that didn't happen because I was bipolar but because I I had poor judgment. Yet, I managed tonlearn from that and I just don't go there, even when there were other married men at work who wanted to "get to know me better."
I'm reiterating again. Go talk to a therapist orbher psychiatrist. I know the statement bothers you. No one is going to generalize here and use the bipolar labeltobsay, "Oh yeah, that's definitely a bipolar trait." It's like saying something racist. We are all different. We don't have a cookie cutter illness nor are there cookie cutter women. You have tobsee her as she is and also seriously look at yourself.
Like I said, I strongly suggest that you talk to someone objective yourself. You're not even thinking anymore, and you're asking like me who know better than to get involved in a couple's dispute, especially when we only know a few sentences from you. You're hurting. You need to pick yours elf upnand do something healthy and proactive. Right now, there is really no helpful discussion here because Idoubt she's feeling good about it and I know ou aren't. From the very beginning of your post from the very first post of yours there was a problem in "communication." There is definitely a trust issue here, and it doesn't build when people answer or make comments that are hurtful and not even constructive.
Either you're going tonread what I have to say or you're going to play out your drama. Go to a therapist who is impartial and sensible for yourself whonyou can workwith. You need to bounce off your issues who can see above the water if you can't bob your head out of it. Either that, or you need to put space between the 2 of you or you will wear each other down. Doesn't have to be permanent, but I definitely think the both of you need time out. That's still going to take trust, btw...and that's coming from somene who's been there and seen and heard things like this all the time. If a pal of yours came up to you and asked you want to do and he was in your shoes,what would you tell him?
As Insaid before, you're not even able to think above all this. Sorry, even though youbsaid before that you both were communicating well, you weren'. For one thing, you're not even communicating with yourself.
I'm bipolar 2 and a woman, and I'm not chasing tail all over the place when I'm stable, hypomanic or whatever. I did when I was in my 20's and 30's but it doesn't mean I would do so when I wasin a committed relatnship. I said no to men at work, even though I really liked them, even was attracted tobthem, but I didn't cross the line. Even when Ibwas hypomanic, I didn't cross the line, because I cared and couldn't hurt the one guy I was with. By the way, yes, when I was young, I had a relationship with a married man, and that didn't happen because I was bipolar but because I I had poor judgment. Yet, I managed tonlearn from that and I just don't go there, even when there were other married men at work who wanted to "get to know me better."
I'm reiterating again. Go talk to a therapist orbher psychiatrist. I know the statement bothers you. No one is going to generalize here and use the bipolar labeltobsay, "Oh yeah, that's definitely a bipolar trait." It's like saying something racist. We are all different. We don't have a cookie cutter illness nor are there cookie cutter women. You have tobsee her as she is and also seriously look at yourself.
Like I said, I strongly suggest that you talk to someone objective yourself. You're not even thinking anymore, and you're asking like me who know better than to get involved in a couple's dispute, especially when we only know a few sentences from you. You're hurting. You need to pick yours elf upnand do something healthy and proactive. Right now, there is really no helpful discussion here because Idoubt she's feeling good about it and I know ou aren't. From the very beginning of your post from the very first post of yours there was a problem in "communication." There is definitely a trust issue here, and it doesn't build when people answer or make comments that are hurtful and not even constructive.
Either you're going tonread what I have to say or you're going to play out your drama. Go to a therapist who is impartial and sensible for yourself whonyou can workwith. You need to bounce off your issues who can see above the water if you can't bob your head out of it. Either that, or you need to put space between the 2 of you or you will wear each other down. Doesn't have to be permanent, but I definitely think the both of you need time out. That's still going to take trust, btw...and that's coming from somene who's been there and seen and heard things like this all the time. If a pal of yours came up to you and asked you want to do and he was in your shoes,what would you tell him?
Well, discussing this whole situation turned into a discussion about sex. She said the other day at work a cop she saw she said she wondered what it would be like to have sex with them. She said it was just a passing thought then left. Normal for every woman or no
Another correction on my post. Yes my typing is awful, but I'm in a hurry. I just noticed there is a bunch of astericks on my posts and I have no idea why they are there because I'm not using obscene language or swear words or any words in there. Those were interjected after I sent. I don't use foul or inqppropriate language in my writing.
I meant with bipolar even with depression, mixed states, mania, the mind is full all the time, even when it's just empty with no feeling. Simple yasks can wear you out. When hypomania or mania hits, there is no focusing. With depression, the focus and concentration is hard to achieve and just doing something simple like washng dishes or vacuuming can like climbing Everest.
Now, just figure out what's gng on with you and how you respond to her, and just leave it at that for now, Think about the options I gave you since engaging her into a one to one isn't happening.
Now, just figure out what's gng on with you and how you respond to her, and just leave it at that for now, Think about the options I gave you since engaging her into a one to one isn't happening.
Sorry, but I got called in to see my doctor. Getting back to you, the other thing is she doesn't want to talk to ou and you keep pusuing her to talk to you, it's just gng to make you more frustrated and her more shutdown and defensive. She's probably overwhelmed. A lot of times, when people woth mental illness are not well managed with meds and other therapeutic interventions, we just can't deal woth heavy stuff that requires a big chance, work, or even deep thinking. For one thing, it's really hard to focus when the mind is full of the time.
I would suggest to lighten up the situation and asking her , instead, if it was possible to have a family meeting with you, her, and her psychitrist or counselor. I think you need a moderator. She would have to agree to this. Some people don't like to share their therapist or psychiatrist with anyone because they can feel threatened or feel like their privacy is compromised. Also, rather than overwhelmng the both of you with a list of issues, make it a nonthreatening and easily successful and tolerable meeting with just one issue or 2 to deal with. The ones that are bugging you and her the most, and it doesn't have to be the same thing, because you both may have different priorities.
Next, when you greet each other or start the day,mdon't delve into problems. Start out be saying hello and how are ou or how was our day. For both you and her. Just start the day or the first time ou see each other with this. It allows you both to know that you care about what each other is **** or thinking. don't be critical. Keep it to I statements and not yous. Just start on a friendly note and invite each other in. If she can't invite you in or doesn't want to know what ou are ****, start by example., and do it genuinely...alike, "Great to see you. I hope your day went well. How did you sleep? what's ot going." and just leave iat that. No comments. Nothng required. You don"5 have to say anything in return. Nonverbal language or quiet is enough. Just start out not having to deal with problems or issues. It's a simple thing. How the initial contact goes sets the mood of the rest of the day or evening. Start on a good note. A low key check in is better than a loaded dramatic entrance full of heavy stuff. It's also not so provoking, overwhelmng or threatening. Like I said. You need firm ground. You need to take care of yourself before you can helpnher out. It's just like the airplane crash survival procedure. You put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can assist the other person who has trouble puttng the oxygen mask on her face.
This isn't a quick fix situation you know. IMedications help but they are not the magic solution. There were issues between you and her and in yourself that were there before. It's not just the bipolar disorder that is being played out here.
I would suggest to lighten up the situation and asking her , instead, if it was possible to have a family meeting with you, her, and her psychitrist or counselor. I think you need a moderator. She would have to agree to this. Some people don't like to share their therapist or psychiatrist with anyone because they can feel threatened or feel like their privacy is compromised. Also, rather than overwhelmng the both of you with a list of issues, make it a nonthreatening and easily successful and tolerable meeting with just one issue or 2 to deal with. The ones that are bugging you and her the most, and it doesn't have to be the same thing, because you both may have different priorities.
Next, when you greet each other or start the day,mdon't delve into problems. Start out be saying hello and how are ou or how was our day. For both you and her. Just start the day or the first time ou see each other with this. It allows you both to know that you care about what each other is **** or thinking. don't be critical. Keep it to I statements and not yous. Just start on a friendly note and invite each other in. If she can't invite you in or doesn't want to know what ou are ****, start by example., and do it genuinely...alike, "Great to see you. I hope your day went well. How did you sleep? what's ot going." and just leave iat that. No comments. Nothng required. You don"5 have to say anything in return. Nonverbal language or quiet is enough. Just start out not having to deal with problems or issues. It's a simple thing. How the initial contact goes sets the mood of the rest of the day or evening. Start on a good note. A low key check in is better than a loaded dramatic entrance full of heavy stuff. It's also not so provoking, overwhelmng or threatening. Like I said. You need firm ground. You need to take care of yourself before you can helpnher out. It's just like the airplane crash survival procedure. You put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can assist the other person who has trouble puttng the oxygen mask on her face.
This isn't a quick fix situation you know. IMedications help but they are not the magic solution. There were issues between you and her and in yourself that were there before. It's not just the bipolar disorder that is being played out here.
I'm really sorry for what you arebgoing through. I'm going to give a quick reply. It sounds like you are losing yourself in the situation because your focused too much on extending yourself to help someone get stable, and that is not in your control. You need to step back. You can still be there for her, but you have to step back and not lose yourself in the illness. It doesn't do any good to swim out, holding a rope, and keep waitng in the water, treading water while begging the other person to take it. You're on a rescue mission, without any firm ground to stand on and giving your all, but now it sounds like your on the deepend.
The first thing you have to do is get back on the boat, and that means you have to stop thinking of what you can do to be in help mode to someone who is trying to figure it put for herself. It won't do her any good for you to lose yourself and give and give. No one expects that out of you and you need to take care of purself. It won't do you or her any good if the both of you are drowning and both of you.
You need support. There are organizations that provide support via perr support with people who have loved ones going through mental illness. I also suggest that ou get a therapist yourself. If you check out on the web groups in our area tthat provide peer group support for people who are involved with people with mental illness in your area.
When was the last time you thought of what you wanted, what you are capable of dealng with, what our strengths and weaknesses are and what ou don't know. This is never easy, no matter if you are involved with a well person or whoever. It also has a lot to do with expectations, whether they are realistic, or not. Each person in the reltipnship has to be able to want to connect, but it sounds lke your girlfriend is too involved struggling with her own self and the disorder. You have to find your center of being again. You're losing sight of your own self and getting too involved with trying to help someone with something you don't really comprehend because you are running on fear, losing her and the illness is sucking you in.
Don't let it suck you in. You need to step back and distance yourself now. You need to keepnyour head above the trees. In psychological terms they would call what you re doing enmeshment and co-dependent behavior, and these are not healthy responses. You need to take care of yourself. You can't give and give and give, because it will make you emotionally empty, and trust me, you don't want to go there.
The first thing you have to do is get back on the boat, and that means you have to stop thinking of what you can do to be in help mode to someone who is trying to figure it put for herself. It won't do her any good for you to lose yourself and give and give. No one expects that out of you and you need to take care of purself. It won't do you or her any good if the both of you are drowning and both of you.
You need support. There are organizations that provide support via perr support with people who have loved ones going through mental illness. I also suggest that ou get a therapist yourself. If you check out on the web groups in our area tthat provide peer group support for people who are involved with people with mental illness in your area.
When was the last time you thought of what you wanted, what you are capable of dealng with, what our strengths and weaknesses are and what ou don't know. This is never easy, no matter if you are involved with a well person or whoever. It also has a lot to do with expectations, whether they are realistic, or not. Each person in the reltipnship has to be able to want to connect, but it sounds lke your girlfriend is too involved struggling with her own self and the disorder. You have to find your center of being again. You're losing sight of your own self and getting too involved with trying to help someone with something you don't really comprehend because you are running on fear, losing her and the illness is sucking you in.
Don't let it suck you in. You need to step back and distance yourself now. You need to keepnyour head above the trees. In psychological terms they would call what you re doing enmeshment and co-dependent behavior, and these are not healthy responses. You need to take care of yourself. You can't give and give and give, because it will make you emotionally empty, and trust me, you don't want to go there.
No guarantee it will work, but ask her to set aside time for you to have an "argument", or discussion about your relationship, and agree to not talk about it until that time. Make sure that it's a time for her to talk to you about what she needs from you, so that she doesn't feel attacked. You could try writing down your issues with what's happening so you have time to make it calm and avoid saying things in the heat of the moment you'll regret later. Ask her to do the same with any issues she has with you, and then you can trade letters, and discuss. And the ground rules should be that one person gets to talk and have the other person listen before the other person gets to respond, so that everyone gets heard.
And it might not be the right time to be in a relationship with her. She sounds like she does need meds, but you have to protect yourself emotionally, even if she's not quite in her right mind currently.
And it might not be the right time to be in a relationship with her. She sounds like she does need meds, but you have to protect yourself emotionally, even if she's not quite in her right mind currently.
Things seem to be getting worse. When she gets a little on the crazy side and takes it out on me a strange string of things happen, like clock work. For one there is never a good time to talk about how extreme the behavior was. It is always said I'm too tired, I said I was sorry, I just got off work... And when it's not Real excuses it's "why can't we just let this go". She doesn't want to talk about the problem or problems to try to help this. I get blame put on me. She seems incapable of excepting blame and wanting to fix it between us. The conversation between the two of us is nuts. I'm trying I really am. It's like talking to a wall.
I feel emotionally abused. She never seems to care either. I cry on the phone how much she is hurting me, I get nothing... Year of this is wearing on me.
I feel emotionally abused. She never seems to care either. I cry on the phone how much she is hurting me, I get nothing... Year of this is wearing on me.
Sounds like she has a good guy, too! Willing to try things and make things work despite apprehension. There's something to be said of it. Hang in there!
Yes she knows all about my past with my exes and their cheating ways.
These acts happened at work and off work. She would be setting up meetings at work for after work, and while the officer was at work while she may be off work. Yes she was single, and only "seeing people".
I thought of writing in a journal, I just give in and start writing and see if it helps.
That is a sweet story, your boyfriend sounds like a good guy. Lucky woman.
We have good communication between us in this. Hopefully she can get on medication very soon so this healing process and process of finding the right medication can start. We both need this, the relationship is hurting because of it. I know how good the relationship can be, im not sure she knows what a normal one will be once she levels out.
These acts happened at work and off work. She would be setting up meetings at work for after work, and while the officer was at work while she may be off work. Yes she was single, and only "seeing people".
I thought of writing in a journal, I just give in and start writing and see if it helps.
That is a sweet story, your boyfriend sounds like a good guy. Lucky woman.
We have good communication between us in this. Hopefully she can get on medication very soon so this healing process and process of finding the right medication can start. We both need this, the relationship is hurting because of it. I know how good the relationship can be, im not sure she knows what a normal one will be once she levels out.
Reasonable, and after I saw your comment about having been cheated on before, I can see why your mind is automatically going to that possibility and that fear. At the same time, she knows you know what happened in her past and probably knows your past relationship history (at least insofar as you've been cheated on before), right? It would be outright foolish of her to think she could get away with it.
Did these sexual relations occur on the job or after hours? I would assume after hours, but with people these days, you know? If they all occurred after hours/not at work, that could provide some comfort for you if she comes straight home from work. Did these all occur while she was single? Even if she was with married cops doesn't mean she views it as ok for her to do something while involved.
I suggest a lot of journaling to you to explore what you're feeling, why you're feeling it, pros and cons lists, etc. A lot of it in this situation will be fairly obvious (i.e., "I'm afraid of her cheating because it's a possible outcome due to xyz symptom and the fact I've been cheated on before. The question is how reasonable is this? Has she given me any real reason not to trust her?"). Journaling's my go-to suggestion, but honestly, it's only because it tends to work very well regardless the situation. Seeing our thoughts in our own handwriting helps self-affirm what we are feeling and that it's ok for us to feel it. It helps us be able to verbalize what we are feeling to another person in a way that allows for "I statements" more easily than accusatory ones. It also helps us work through issues which we might not have. You may find that it's easier to communicate your needs after doing this.
The most important suggestion I can give you beyond that is: keep dialogue open with her when it comes to her diagnosis and symptoms. The best way to do this is to listen and reassure as this will make it easier for her to continue to open up to you. Ask questions, listen without trying to fix (hard, I know). If you become critical and/or accuse too often, it will create an environment conducive to her seeking emotional help from someone else. My other suggestion would be to not make all conversation about the diagnosis. There will likely be plenty of people who will make interactions with her about the diagnosis or, even if they don't, their actions will make it obvious there's a big purple elephant. If you can become her reprieve from that yet still someone she can talk to, you've won half the battle.
One of the moments I hold near and dear, perhaps the defining moment that let me know my boyfriend is the one for me, was how my boyfriend handled a mental breakdown I had last year. We were having a party at his house following a choir concert our friends and I had been in, and something felt off, so I tried to handle it on my own, but a friend asked those oh-so-powerful words of: "Are you ok?" and I lost it. Friends tried to help, but my bf, despite being drunk, was the one who handled it best. He came into the bedroom, told them to leave back to the party, and then tried to hold me. When I wouldn't let him, he backed off and laid there until I was ready to be held. Then, he focused on making me laugh until I was relaxed enough we could take a walk down to the corner mart. I apologized, expressed a desire to be "normal" (aka, without a brain chemical imbalance), and he said that it was no problem and not to apologize, that he loved me and wanted to be there for me, and he told me I was perfect.
That's all someone needs from their partner (regardless of mental health status): support through difficult times and to feel accepted and loved.
Until you figure out where you stand and if you can get past the hurt of past relationship and past the fears, you may find it hard to be that for her.
I strongly suggest fostering good communication if you haven't already so you can address fears yet also be there for her as well as journaling so you can figure out what you feel before you address them.
Did these sexual relations occur on the job or after hours? I would assume after hours, but with people these days, you know? If they all occurred after hours/not at work, that could provide some comfort for you if she comes straight home from work. Did these all occur while she was single? Even if she was with married cops doesn't mean she views it as ok for her to do something while involved.
I suggest a lot of journaling to you to explore what you're feeling, why you're feeling it, pros and cons lists, etc. A lot of it in this situation will be fairly obvious (i.e., "I'm afraid of her cheating because it's a possible outcome due to xyz symptom and the fact I've been cheated on before. The question is how reasonable is this? Has she given me any real reason not to trust her?"). Journaling's my go-to suggestion, but honestly, it's only because it tends to work very well regardless the situation. Seeing our thoughts in our own handwriting helps self-affirm what we are feeling and that it's ok for us to feel it. It helps us be able to verbalize what we are feeling to another person in a way that allows for "I statements" more easily than accusatory ones. It also helps us work through issues which we might not have. You may find that it's easier to communicate your needs after doing this.
The most important suggestion I can give you beyond that is: keep dialogue open with her when it comes to her diagnosis and symptoms. The best way to do this is to listen and reassure as this will make it easier for her to continue to open up to you. Ask questions, listen without trying to fix (hard, I know). If you become critical and/or accuse too often, it will create an environment conducive to her seeking emotional help from someone else. My other suggestion would be to not make all conversation about the diagnosis. There will likely be plenty of people who will make interactions with her about the diagnosis or, even if they don't, their actions will make it obvious there's a big purple elephant. If you can become her reprieve from that yet still someone she can talk to, you've won half the battle.
One of the moments I hold near and dear, perhaps the defining moment that let me know my boyfriend is the one for me, was how my boyfriend handled a mental breakdown I had last year. We were having a party at his house following a choir concert our friends and I had been in, and something felt off, so I tried to handle it on my own, but a friend asked those oh-so-powerful words of: "Are you ok?" and I lost it. Friends tried to help, but my bf, despite being drunk, was the one who handled it best. He came into the bedroom, told them to leave back to the party, and then tried to hold me. When I wouldn't let him, he backed off and laid there until I was ready to be held. Then, he focused on making me laugh until I was relaxed enough we could take a walk down to the corner mart. I apologized, expressed a desire to be "normal" (aka, without a brain chemical imbalance), and he said that it was no problem and not to apologize, that he loved me and wanted to be there for me, and he told me I was perfect.
That's all someone needs from their partner (regardless of mental health status): support through difficult times and to feel accepted and loved.
Until you figure out where you stand and if you can get past the hurt of past relationship and past the fears, you may find it hard to be that for her.
I strongly suggest fostering good communication if you haven't already so you can address fears yet also be there for her as well as journaling so you can figure out what you feel before you address them.
I'm sorry your going through this. Sounds as if u truly love her. I hope that with such a supportive partner (you) she will find some level ground.
Yeah, I kinda figured you meant 1 lol.
I agree with what you are saying about the therapist.
Its her infatuation with officers, the multiple sex partners with married cops, and now being at a job that revolves around them again. Her job in the past where this occurred a lot was at a police department. That is where it comes from.
I agree with what you are saying about the therapist.
Its her infatuation with officers, the multiple sex partners with married cops, and now being at a job that revolves around them again. Her job in the past where this occurred a lot was at a police department. That is where it comes from.
EDIT: Wrong number on my diagnosis. I have type 1 is what I meant to say. Probably obvious what I meant since otherwise it'd be contradictory, but had to be say. lol.
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Right but a history does not guilty make. You mentioned before she never had any real relationships before. Take the fact she's in one with you and getting help as a good sign and give her some faith and trust for now. Without trust, the relationship is doomed for failure.
I have hypersexuality, and getting into a relationship really helped provide an outlet for that (obviously not *why* I got into one), so I never went elsewhere nor dreamed of it. Obviously, she's a different person, but she knows what you're afraid of and hopefully will respect that it's a fear and do what she can to calm your fears.
Keep in mind with your conversation with her therapist that, right now, he's gaining a baseline regarding her history with the illness. He's trying to find out what's happened in the past, what her symptoms may have been, etc., while still trying to deal with root issues and such that lead to her seeking help. The insight he has now may be different than what he might have said to you a few months or even a year down the road.
What are the signs she has shown in her new work environment that make you think she will cheat on you?
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Right but a history does not guilty make. You mentioned before she never had any real relationships before. Take the fact she's in one with you and getting help as a good sign and give her some faith and trust for now. Without trust, the relationship is doomed for failure.
I have hypersexuality, and getting into a relationship really helped provide an outlet for that (obviously not *why* I got into one), so I never went elsewhere nor dreamed of it. Obviously, she's a different person, but she knows what you're afraid of and hopefully will respect that it's a fear and do what she can to calm your fears.
Keep in mind with your conversation with her therapist that, right now, he's gaining a baseline regarding her history with the illness. He's trying to find out what's happened in the past, what her symptoms may have been, etc., while still trying to deal with root issues and such that lead to her seeking help. The insight he has now may be different than what he might have said to you a few months or even a year down the road.
What are the signs she has shown in her new work environment that make you think she will cheat on you?
I have been cheated on 3 times in my life, lol. So yeah, everyone cheats, sad but true.
I wouldnt hold anything against her for past mistakes. But, the decisions she has made up until she met me were highly viewed as problems linked to her bipolar type 2. So its not even a matter of she made a mistake and she learned from it. From reading and listening to Dr's it is said that when something like making poor sexual decisions etc happens it is done with not being in the right mind set. The act happens, then soon after regrets it when they come down back to earth so to speak. A person who has a normal chemical balance could make a mistake then learn from it and know better if the chance arises again. With Bipolar 2 whats to learn from if you loose control of yourself and cant make a right decision because of the imbalance.
I wouldnt hold anything against her for past mistakes. But, the decisions she has made up until she met me were highly viewed as problems linked to her bipolar type 2. So its not even a matter of she made a mistake and she learned from it. From reading and listening to Dr's it is said that when something like making poor sexual decisions etc happens it is done with not being in the right mind set. The act happens, then soon after regrets it when they come down back to earth so to speak. A person who has a normal chemical balance could make a mistake then learn from it and know better if the chance arises again. With Bipolar 2 whats to learn from if you loose control of yourself and cant make a right decision because of the imbalance.
Thanks for the quick reply.
Yes she does have a therapist right now, which is great.
Of course not every person is going to have the same symptoms, as you say for yourself. But, she has had a past of hypersexuality, making poor decisions etc. Her DR./therapist agreed that this was the case. So indeed she is showing signs of this, which is troubling for me, especially in her new work environment.
I have been nothing but supportive and trying to ask question. The only reason "this" topic was even brought up was because she put me on speaker speaking with her DR. trying to gain some information from an outside perspective on the situation.
Yes she does have a therapist right now, which is great.
Of course not every person is going to have the same symptoms, as you say for yourself. But, she has had a past of hypersexuality, making poor decisions etc. Her DR./therapist agreed that this was the case. So indeed she is showing signs of this, which is troubling for me, especially in her new work environment.
I have been nothing but supportive and trying to ask question. The only reason "this" topic was even brought up was because she put me on speaker speaking with her DR. trying to gain some information from an outside perspective on the situation.
Even people without mental disorders cheat. I think that knowledge is power and u sound as if u have researched the disorder . All relationships require a large amount of TRUST and FAITH❕ has she given you a reason not to trust her❔ not really fair to judge her based on past mistakes. We all mess up and hopefully LEARN from those mistakes...
Bipolar type 2 has hypomania, a lesser form of mania (for lack of a better way of describing). Not everyone will have hypersexuality, rapid thoughts, rapid speech, and all the other textbook symptoms nor is it any need to worry. I have bipolar type 2, which has full-blown mania. I've never once cheated or thought of cheating on my boyfriend of nearly four years.
Fear is not going to do either of you any good. If anything, it will push her away especially since you've told her this. You need to learn to trust her. Sit down with her and discuss what her symptoms are. Don't accuse her of having them just because it's in a list of symptoms you read. Let her know you want to learn about HER diagnosis and what it means. Everyone experiences things differently. Ask her if she's noticed any triggers and how she would like you to help. What her main symptoms are, what her main episodes are (mixed, hypomanic, depressed), etc. She may not be able to talk to you about it yet. She may still be learning all this with her therapist (hopefully she has one?).
Also, note that medication is not a cure-all. It can even take years to find the right mix.
Focus right now on you two and learn to trust her. Learn to treat her like nothing is wrong. That's what she will need right now. She's about to face an onslaught of, "Well, you did this, so you're manic/depressed today, aren't you?" or other criticisms depending on how her family takes the news. She needs you as a support figure in her life or it does not bode well for your relationship.
Fear is not going to do either of you any good. If anything, it will push her away especially since you've told her this. You need to learn to trust her. Sit down with her and discuss what her symptoms are. Don't accuse her of having them just because it's in a list of symptoms you read. Let her know you want to learn about HER diagnosis and what it means. Everyone experiences things differently. Ask her if she's noticed any triggers and how she would like you to help. What her main symptoms are, what her main episodes are (mixed, hypomanic, depressed), etc. She may not be able to talk to you about it yet. She may still be learning all this with her therapist (hopefully she has one?).
Also, note that medication is not a cure-all. It can even take years to find the right mix.
Focus right now on you two and learn to trust her. Learn to treat her like nothing is wrong. That's what she will need right now. She's about to face an onslaught of, "Well, you did this, so you're manic/depressed today, aren't you?" or other criticisms depending on how her family takes the news. She needs you as a support figure in her life or it does not bode well for your relationship.
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