Creative People Thread

[Savas]

Those who didn't catch it, I put the link to the first two chapters of a piece I wrote during a dark period of my life in my journal.

All comments and thoughts are welcome, it's experimental and a departure for me, so I won't be offended. :-)

BUT, it got me wondering if there are any others out there who write or create in some way on this forum.

So I'm asking all of you who feel brave enough to post your work either here (in journal), or a link to it if offsite, and perhaps we could get some helpful criticism going, as well as the pleasure of enjoying what each other of us do.

This isn't limited to writing, mind you. If it's hand craft, post a few pics!

Music? A link to..well, wherever you put music up nowadays on the internet.

[Piparskeggr]

Mind and Body, Art, Craft and Wit
Skills we should have, as Lord or Men
Helping the Folk, ready to be
In Peace or War, live large and strong

-----------

I sang it both ways and I agree the change does add to the poem.

Thanks, and yes, please do PM and elaborate.

I'll be the first to admit that there is always room for improvement.  My ego is sound enough that I do not take umbrage when someone suggests a change; some work out, some don't, but they are worth a try.

I rewrote an entire song once, at the suggestion of a friend who had made a living as an independent record producer.  Afterward we both agreed the original was better ,-)

be well - Pip
(BTW, I did get a copy of "Great Expectations.")

[Savas]

I'll check out the link.

I actually like this one better than Thor's, but perhaps that's because of a personal affinity.
It has a good flow and the feel holds true without.

Now I'm going to possibly irritate you;

How do you think the line;

"Skills we should have , as Lord or Man."

Would read compared to "Skill we should have, as Lord or Men."

If you'd liked me to elaborate, I'll pm.

Otherwise, if you'd like to send me an E-bomb for messing with your work... that can still be a pm. :-)

[Piparskeggr]

Wonder and it shall appear ,-)

Again, 1st stanza is repeated as the chorus.  Another one I sing...and if you'd care to hear, I do have podcasts of some of my songs: http://preview.tinyurl.com/lojyby
is the link to this one.  All my songs are acapella, sometimes accompanied by me keeping the beat, thumping the desk top ,-)

Wearer of the Wolfskin - 29 March 2001
(Written in memory of Scotty McMurry)

Heimdall you stand in wolfskin cloak
Auroch's horn close at hand
Guarding the way on Bifrost bright
Everward, Wakeful One

Praises we sing, the Warder Bold!
Heimdall, Garth Guard, Watch over us!
Praises we sing, the Warder Bold!
Your Deeds shine bright, Honor's Beacon!
- Chorus -

Heimdall, Horn Ás, Never Sleeping
Looks oer the Worlds, observing all
Grim of visage, solid of stance
Always ready to sound the Call
- Chorus -

Within your tales, are lessons true
Of watchfulness, against all ill
To be prepared, for Ragnarok
We'll look to Worth, and battle gear
- Chorus -

Ever sharp ears, hear Battle Strife
Farseeing eyes, watch Mannish Deeds
Bell flared nostrils, smell tang of Blood
Inflowing breath, brings taste of Pain
- Chorus -

Midgard is green, Life upon Life
Quickened by Gods, Ordered by Same
Folk have a place within the Clan
Farmer, Craftsman, Hallthane and Lord
- Chorus -

Community ties, of Birth and Word
Bind tight and strong, among the Folk
Rig did walk here, long, long ago
Taught us to know, work we must do
- Chorus -

Mind and Body, Art, Craft and Wit
Skills we should have, as Lord or Man
Helping the Folk, ready to be
In Peace or War, live large and strong
- Chorus -

Praises we sing, the Warder Bold!
Heimdall, Garth Guard, Watch over us!
Praises we sing, the Warder Bold!
Your Deeds shine bright, Honor's Beacon!
- Chorus -
- Chorus -

I have read some Douglas Adams, but not "Long dark..."  I'll have to look for it.

Thanks - Pip

[Savas]

I like it. It's got a bit of a mix/ modern feel with a touch of the style of the old Norse verse.

One problem with Thor is he tends to be a bit of a comic relief character in stories as well. It creates a dichotomy that can be hard to cope with when you're trying to focus on his serious side. I suppose that's part of the comedy; Thor tends to take himself way to seriously.
I could have used a good worship song about Heimdall back when. I always had a particular affinity for him. ;->

Have you ever read Douglas Adams? He does a book called;

"The long, dark, tea time of the soul" that deals with the Norse Gods trying to manage in this modern age that's very funny.

[Piparskeggr]

Hail;

I've always had a hard time getting a handle on Thor, but wanted to write a song as the centerpiece of a worship service to him.  I think the problem lay in that Thor is looked upon as a god of action: a traveler, a slayer of giants, one who does rather than deeply thinks...  He is looked as a protector of the Innanard, the community of Kin, Kith and Friends, and a god looked to more by the common folk, rather than the warriors and nobles.  We modern folk even have him (and other Norse gods) embedded in our calendar: Thursday = Thor's Day, part of the lasting effect that our ancestors had upon us to this very day.

After several weeks of thinking, scratching out a few phrases, having "vapor lock" over the subject, and then putting the work aside for a couple of years, the phrase "Son of Deed" popped into my mind.

The poem flowed out in less than an hour after that.

1st stanza is repeated as the chorus of the song.  When reading this, think of the rhythm of the wheels of a 2-wheeled cart rattling over a country road while the animals are pulling at a canter.  Many of my poems "demand" a tune as I write them.  This is one such.  I am musically illiterate, so I have a pocket recorder into which I sing as I write.

Son of Deed

Thor, Son of Deed, Mighty Do-er
Your name has spread, across Midgard
Thor Odinsson, Will to His Wit
Innangard's Fist, Worlds' Traveler

Black storm clouds rise, thunderclaps roll
Asa Thor rides, Ettins to slay
Mankind's Old Friend, guarding the Weal
Strength in action, as we should be
- Chorus -

Stories in Lore, tell of his deeds
Stout warrior, hearty and hale
Fist to the fore, striking the foes
Of Asgard's tribes, and of all Life
- Chorus -

Hammer and gloves, broad brazen belt
Protecting Folk, from ill intent
Strength upon strength, power for right
Quickly He strikes, always does act
- Chorus -

Thor of the North, common man's friend
Fighting giants, with Mjollnir
Swiftly it strikes, just like a bolt
Out of the blue, brightly, then gone
- Chorus -

Gold lightning flash, crosses blue sky
Nary a cloud, is within sight
What could this be, this spark above
Fault in my eyes, or other thing
- Chorus -

Without a storm, on a cool day
How can this be, lightning bolt thrown
Nature teasing, Godly message
The latter I, do think calmly
- Chorus -

Lesson I think, is to Act Now
Strive always to, do what is right
Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose
But overall, we build the Good
- Chorus -

Black storm clouds rise, thunderclaps roll
Asa Thor rides, Ettins to slay
Mankind' Old Friend, guarding the Weal
Strength in action, as we should be
- Chorus -
- Chorus -

I did stall once while finishing the work.  I was sitting on my back deck looking north over the hayfield behind my house.  The lightning flash in the poem happened as I described: clear blue sky, not even a wisp of clouds, the Sun well on her way west for the day...

Since choosing this worldview as the one I follow, my parents think I have become a better man.  I have certainly received inspiration from it, as I've written several thousand lines in the past 20 years.

be well - Pip

[FurballsMom]

Thanks, I'll look into that one.