Actually, 3 years, 1 month, 3 weeks and 1 day Miss Teia Honey has been with Anita, the other kitties and me.
Jana, Teia came to us as a double rescue.
The folks we got her from rescued off the street as a six month old kitten that had been abused by other anilmals anf a neighborhood kid. They gave her a safe haven: food, water, warth and a clean scratch box. However, they were also raising 3 small children and not the time to socialize her. Basically, Teia stayed in her room in their house, would occassionally be seen at night, unless she saw you first.
Then they lost their house to foreclosure. Anita and I took in, basically, a 10 1/2 year old, semi-feral cat. Teia bit and scratched us, charged the other cats and bunkered, first behind the commode in the master bath and then under the bed in the guest room, which became Teia's room.
Through patient, persistent kindness. Teia has come a very long way.
She eats all her meals with Hildie, even lets Hildie get within 6" or so before she gets defensive. Teia loves ear scritches, even some lap time. She play with with a piece of cord I'll dangle...she purrs. When my wife comes to bed, she'll pick Teia up and put her next to me, she now stays for a couple of hours more often than not.
So, we've been able to take a cat that knew safety, but not affection, stayed wild because of that, and find within a really sweet, still a little timid, cat.
do you know anything abt the kitties background? where did you get her from? at 5 years old she could have undergone many changes and some frightening experiences that has caused a distrust of people in general not you in particular....
Your cat lover friends are all correct in telling you to relax and give her time and patience, she has to learn to trust you and the new environment, depending on how deep the fear is will determine how long to overcome.
you can look back at some of the postings from Piparskeggr and tales of his kitty Miss Teia..who they took in aft a bad situation, we have all been following Teia's story and the love and patience of her mommy and daddy...Its been just a little over 2 years now hasn't it been Pip? and miss Teia is just nicely starting to feel safe and loved enough to began showing her true personally traits....she is such a darling.
I hope it won't take your kitty that long...but it will have to happen as she is ready and can't be forced....just rest assured it will happen, and she'll repay you with years of grateful love...keep us posted ♥