Oh I know so well how much you are missing your Motley and I also can share your profound need for some closure in Motts death.
I lost my precious Mia two months ago--now Mia was a very sickly cat, but even the doctor said she always looked good and seemed to be handeling her series of medical issues like a champ.
One day she was fine and the next day her third eyelid was covering 75% of both eyes. I spent a fortune on keeping her healthy and could not understand what was happening. She stopped eating and within a week was dead.
Autopsy's are expensive and do not always tell the tale.. I know because I had one done to try and find out what could have killed her, since all her tests (and we ran every one) all cam back good. Needless to say the doctor found nothing obvious during the necropsy. A month later my regular Vet announced she was leaving the practice, she knew my Mia as well as I did--even better since she had all her tests, x-rays etc.
She explained to me how when seeing Mia she knew she was not the Mia we had known--something had taken over, and she believed it was an Angianoma (tumor on the brain). This will cause the blindness, and it probably was growing for a while until it finally took over.
I tell you this in the hopes of helping you find closure. I know the devastation you feel and the "not knowing" will drive you to madness. Believe me I tried everything to find out what might have happened --even spent a whole day at the Library trying to work it out in my mind.
I had a broken heart and had no answers as to why I lost the love of my life.
Please know we sometimes will never know what ends our baby's life, but we do need to know we made it the best life they could ever have, and being loved by us was all that ever mattered to them. Cats live in the moment so you can bet right up till the point she dies she knew nothing but LOVE.
Try and remember you saved her life for as long as she was meant to be on this earth. Now she is a beautiful star in the heavens that will always watch over you.......and that's a good thing, right?
Sincerest Sympathies and may God watch over Motts until you meet again.
CML
I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how you're feeling. It sounds like maybe Motley had a stroke. It doesn't sound like poison. Hopefully someone else will have an idea.
Hugs to you. Even though you may know the Rainbow Bridge poem, I love sharing it and always find it comforting. I hope you will too.
Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...