Telling People...

[SilentSong101]

Hey guys....

I know this is really short notice as I am going into surgery early tomorrow morning...but I'm finding myself in a dilemma.

I haven't really told anyone that I'm having surgery tomorrow....my church knows, and my family knows, and a friend or two knows...but other friends...I haven't told yet...

There are a couple reasons for this...

The first one is that my social skills are not great, and I am not entirely sure what people are supposed to do in situations like this...I just don't know....who should I tell? How should I tell? How much information do people want (I like full detail...but apparently not everyone does)? Does the amount you tell change depending on how much you know a person?

The other reason is because explaining this whole thing to people without freaking them out is difficult....unless I write a novel....so if you have any suggestions on how to explain this all....or what to say that would be greatly appreciate...

It is my instinct to hide it away from people, as I a) dont want to bother them, and b) am not really sure it is relevnt to their lives...however I dont want people to freak out and bombard me with questions next time they see me (you know...with a giant scar on the back of my head....)

Yeah...any thoughts? Aside from my family, only a couple of my friends know I even have Chiari....so that makes it all even weirder...I think I'm more stressed about this right now than the surgery....

Oh help.

[irislita]

Focus on urself now and dont worry about things that dont matter now.u will decide who u want to know and not...i hope ur surgery is going well.

[selmaS]

  Hi, I did not tell people either, there were my close friends that knew something was going on most of my life, and r currently involved in my life so they knew, but outside work needing to know I was out for surgery, I did not tell them y either,,.lets face it, it is hard to find Drs that understand Chiari, I really do not expect the avg Joe to.....and I found it uncomfortable trying to explain to each one, so I choose not to...in fact I did not tell my parents until the last moment as I knew they would bombard me...I also knew I would not want company while in the hospital except for my DD and DH, and that was all I had,,.same thing for when I got home....I did not want a bunch of people coming around while I was half out of it from meds....and my DH did not allow it...it was the best thing for me, and u have to do what is best for u,,,....

  Not everyone u know needs to know, or those that know u had surgery may need to know all the details and u will find a way to give them a brief description of what chiari is...and leave it at that....

Again, whatever u feel the need to give...and they will retain what they will regardless...  : )

  

[bigsissie]

Surgery in itself is scary and worrisome enough. Since you feel uncomfortable with telling people but are apparently worried that someone will feel slighted or ask too many personal questions why not ask the friends and family that you have already told to get the news out for you and that you don't want to be asked about it afterwards. If that does not work for you go with what makes you feel comfortable. If people ask you questions afterward just think to yourself that you are spreading the info and it may help someone else either to get a diagnosis or help them is some way. That is what I do when people get nosy lol. Telling people is the easiest by just laying it on the table. Start out by simply stating you have chiari and are having surgery and explain what everything is and what will happen during the surgery. Most people are just curious and some will care about what happens to you. I would suggest doing what I did and telling people in person or over the phone about my surgery( mine was gallbladder) then posting to everyone else about it on facebook or email. That way you can completely explain what your medical problem and your surgery all at once and the people will know and may not ask as many questions afterward. I do think it is important to get the info out so that it will reduce the questions over your scar, ect. Those that care will appreciate it and those that don't do not really matter in the first place. I hope your surgery goes well. Best wishes for a swift recovery, Sissie