Intoduction. hi

[HohnWilly]

HI my name is john. i am 26. I was diagnosed with chiari about 3 1/2 years ago. it was originally thought that my herneation was 30 mm. but i guess the first doctor was wrong or maybe wasnt paying to much attention. he said my headaches and all my symptoms were anxiety and depression related or migraines. then he said that i could have surgery or not (wtf) and then basically rushed me out the office without telling me anything about it. maybe thats what being poor with no insurance gets you right? SO briefly i will tell you a little about me. I infact do have anxiety with agoraphobia and depression that cause migrains. So i went home and the first thing i did was look up chiari.... and i read all these horror stories. long story short i freeked out. my anxiety and depression took me over and i started withering away. within that time my beautiful wife was desperate to find help, since we at the time thought i was going to be crippled by some unknown condition. we found another nero that said i need surgery and she promised to do it within two weeks....then of course insurance and lack of funds plays a part and she started ignoring me. so then im left thinking i need help and surgery or im going to die or something. and so i got more depressed and anxious with all kinds of symptoms that i dont feel at this point writing because the memories hurt.
I ended up getting committed to a hospital for my anxiety and depression. and all the while my beautiful wife slept in the car outside the hospital. i know my story is a bit choppy in places so please bear with me. so after a few pych ward visits I somehow ended up with an appontment at the clevland clinic in ohio i guess because they thought my herneation was 30 mm. so my wife drove me from Ga all the way to Ohio. We told them we are super poor and they said that they would give me an mri and all the reviewing  stuff free. so i got the mri with the cine flow and the doc told me it was in fact only a 10mm herneation and that i didnt have csf blockage and i would be fine just no roller coasters and stuff.ohio wasnt word s***. so we went home and honestly i started feeling better over the next year besides my panic attacks and depression.  i started seeing a shrink and found a depression med that worked. jump ahead again. so now for the past 2 years ive takin a stand against myy depression and anxiety and ive gotten a good bit of my life back but im still poor and i still think about the chiari alot. I get wierd headaches alot escpecially when it rains but i guess im lucky that that is all right and who knows if they are related to the chiari? i started playing music again and i can drive again and leave the house without panicing. Lol it ***** when youre a 24 years old man that starts to cry when youre going for a car ride. BS! any ways im tryin to work up the nerve to play acoustic shows to make some money and get an overnight job so i dont have to deal with the public. the last time i checked on the chiari was years ago.  but i stll worry about it, but because of my anxiety i try to basically ignore it because if i dwell to much on it i may end up freaking again. ever passed out from a panic attack and came to with your wife holding you and tapping your face to get you to come to? state run pysch wards arent fun ;-(. anyways i think my biggest fear is that the chiari may take me over one day. numbing my hands so i cant play my guitar and sing anymore. its hard because we are very poor. and with that being said who knows when ill see a nero again. oh hahah and the cleavland clinic did send me a bill. i know i complained alot in this but i felt i needed to talk about it. and even with all the anxiety and depression and chiari i still consider myself a lucky man because ive got a beautiful wife thats held my hand the whole way through . i would not be alive today if not for her. she is the queen of my heart. i just wish i could be the one supporting her. she definately wears the pants :-)

[selmaS]

  John....one day at a time is all u can do, know u r not alone, there are so many of us going thru this too.....we r here to help support u as best we can.

I find new things about myself I never knew b4....yrs ago b4 I got my DX I would never attempt to paint...but I did once I had surgery and look at my profile page at what I can do now!

If u have talents, u may find new ones with this....so do not get down on what u can not do now, wait to see what u will be able to do : )

[Viva001]

I'm sorry for what you are going through.  I also had good years & bad ones, but now I'm not even having good days.  I don't want to scare you--it took many, many years to get to this point.  I do have lots of hand numbness, if I hold a book too long or sleep w/my arms bent, so you might want to be aware of signs like that.  Also, if you're looking down at your guitar, you could precipitate some symptoms.
I agree, the chiari could be resonsible for the anxiety.  Good luck!
Vivian

[HohnWilly]

i find at times that it is really hard to enjoy new things and old things and enjoy my talents i dont want them to be taken away from me

[HohnWilly]

grr im so scared sometimes.

[selmaS]

  There is no way to know for sure...and for many of us, I know when I was dx'd I didn't think I had many symptoms until I sat and really looked at it...some of the ways Drs describe a symptom makes it something I can not relate to, but I found if I describe it they say , oh that is this....so some terms used threw me off, and some symptoms I had so long, I considered them "normal".

What u do daily, and what u avoid may help keep the symptoms from worsening, but a cough or a sneeze could trigger things to change, u just never know.

Chiari symptoms also cycle, so I had yrs when I felt awful and yrs when things were manageable...

U may want to check out the clinical trials if for nething else to see if u had ne increase or change to ur condition.

[HohnWilly]

being that headaches are my only possible symptom. will it get worse?

[selmaS]

   Hi and welcome to the Chiari forum.

Chiari itself can cause the anxiety and depression many of us deal with, it is not just u, many of us have this in addition to the other chiari symptoms.

There are clinical trials u can try to be a part of ...u may want to check it out-
http://clinicalstudies.info.nih.gov/cgi/detail.cgi?A_2010-N-0143.html

SO many of us can related to ur story, and I just wanted u to know u r not alone in ur journey and we r here to help if we can : )