11 Year Old Afraid to Sleep Alone

[KAM006]

My eleven year old son is afraid to sleep by himself. Up until last month he slept with us, his parents. Since school has started, we have him sleeping with his eight year old sister who is constantly complaining and not wanting him to sleep with her. He seems to have some fear about sleeping alone. We have tried nightlights, sleeping with the dog, etc. but nothing seems to work.

Also, he is always tired, he has indicated to us. We get him to bed by 9:00 p.m., with him falling asleep by 9:30 p.m. but he has to wake up by 6:30 p.m. We cannot seem to get him to bed any earlier.

However, our greatest problem is that he is extremely fearful of sleeping alone. What are your suggestions.

Also, do they make a children's sleep pill? He is restless throughout much of his sleep.

Thank you.

[notaloneanymore]

ok so it's 2:30 onm the am and my son who is 11 won't sleep in his own room... i am desperate to find a solution to this problem....and so happy to have found this form... after reading these posts I know I am not alone with this situation.... i may not have found an answer to the problem....YET... but I know in time it will present itself to me... thank you to all who has shared here

[thisgetsold]

My 10, soon to be 11 yr old is scared to sleep in her room at night - only ay night.  She sleeps fine at sleepovers but sometimes when she has friends sleeping over, she tries to sneak into our room and I send her back and she squeezes in bed with one of the friends, and only then does she fall asleep.  Last night, she got in bed around 9:30 pm and didn't fall asleep until 12:30 am, only to wake up again at 3:30 am.  Needless to say, she didn't go back to sleep until 6:30 am, as I held my ground, but I didn't get much sleep either.  My husband, her dad, has been forced to go into the spare room, and this can be bad for intimacy.  Once she's in our room, she falls right asleep and doesn't have any night wakings.  The thing is though, I remember having a lot of fears as a child, up until about12.   I remember wanting to sleep in my parent's room as well and they accommodated me, so i felt secure.  I don't remember them sending me back to the room I shared with my two older sisters, however, I'm concerned that my daughter may end up being too dependent on people, even though I never turned out that way.  I will have her see a psychologist to have her screened, or maybe just believe that this too shall pass!  I liked the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel.  I will give her that to read before bedtime.  

[smiley56]

Perhaps some of these children suffer sleep paralyses? Basically its when you "wake up" but you can't move (thus the paralyses) and on top of that you have hallucinations that carry over from your dreams. You're eyes are open, you realize your awake and often times it feels as if something evil is looking at you or even sitting on top of you. It's like being half awake half asleep and its a terrifying experience. If it happens even once it can make you very fearful of sleeping. Perhaps sleeping with someone else makes them feel that if they can't move to fight the demon/alien/monster that the person beside them can.

Of course if a child tried to describe the experience it might come off as just another nightmare or some silly childish monster in the closet. But it feels 100% real when it happens. You see and hear things that aren't there. Some people even have out of body experiences.

[PG76]

Well am I glad I found this site!!!

Our 11 year old son just wont go to sleep at night, its after 12 when he finally does go to sleep but the slightest thing wakes him these days.

We tried everything to combat this, from diet change to more exercise to warm baths and warm milk NOTHING works!

I just cant believe I didnt realise what the cause was, until I read every post here. I was the same as my son, I just dealt with it better and also had a brother and sister in the same room so It didnt bother me as much.

Thank you to everyone who posted here, especially the 13 year old girl who really made me realise what the problem was.

I now know what I need to do, and that is to be his DAD again. I was so busy trying to prepare him for the big wide world that I lost track of my real purpose, to be a FATHER to my son.

I have spoke to him now, he broke down in tears because it was such a relief to actually talk about it, we had no idea he was so scared. I now do everything to reassure him that everything is fine and he is safe. Its not easy, but who said parenting was!

My advice is to ignore the idiots talking about making your children into men and women, that will happen on its own. Just LOVE your children, make sure they know it, they just need to feel loved, safe and secure.

Good luck.

[ursh71]

i too am very stressed my daughter is 10 she has had trouble sleeping for 2years.she want,s to sleep with he little sister wich was ok the odd night.but kylie ma 7 year old got fed up with her in the bed,she say,s every nite shes gona try it,she gets up set,she sleeps with her granny or auntie or me then falls asleep.a wish it would stop me and my husband are very stressed a end up crying all the time its like walking on egg shell,s.a wish somone somewhere could come up wi a soulotion,load,s of parent,s would be less fed up.

[boredgirl]

Ummm ..... ? This Is Weird I Am 11 && I Am Terrified To Sleep In the Dark Sometimes But It Depeneds My Mood Just Put A Tv In Its Room ? Alwayz Works 4 Me Lol If Not Just Talk To The Child, If They Watch a Scary Movie Thats Probably Why ( Thats Why I Canmt Sleep Very In The Dark Im alwayz Watchong Horror Films )