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14 year old boys masturbating in class
I am a regular education teacher. I have two male students, age 14, who have, masturbated in class. One more frequently than the other. They are not diagnosed with anything more serious than ADHD. I want them to get the help they need. I also know that their behavior is obvious enough to impact the learning environment. I have been told this is not the case because no parent has complained. I feel that most 14 year olds find this behavior extremely embarrasing and will not mention it. I have been told that they cannot be removed from my class. Please help.
Wowie, I'd be mortified if it were my child and horrified if it were another child in the class. If I were the teacher and got push back from the administration, I'd place a formal complaint but realize that is a big step and perhaps makes one nervous about their job. THAT is unfortunate and I feel for you. But what else can you do at this point? The superintendent needs to hear what is going on and perhaps even asked to come and moniter the classroom for a bit to see. I would go over and above principles at the school and go to the top level and if your job is jeapardized above that-------- that would be very bad publicity for the school.
Because if my school district allowed this to go on in classrooms---- I'd move.
PS: my son has a developmental delay. Our OT was talking in a general way about some clients that have found that as self soothing and that it is then addressed as socially unacceptable and behavior that is not allowed. They are VERY firm about it. It is NOT okay in the school setting.
good luck
Because if my school district allowed this to go on in classrooms---- I'd move.
PS: my son has a developmental delay. Our OT was talking in a general way about some clients that have found that as self soothing and that it is then addressed as socially unacceptable and behavior that is not allowed. They are VERY firm about it. It is NOT okay in the school setting.
good luck
COMMUNITY LEADER
Thank you for responding.
When I read your post I had two different ideas as to what could be going on - hence the questions I asked. I was hopeful that it was just attention getting which would have been easier to deal with. Unfortunately, that's not the case and you have been introduced to the world of special education. I've been there and do have some suggestions.
As you have found out, its almost impossible to fight the system and that really does not help the child. So you do the best you can to help the kid and also yourself and the others involved.
First, there are two kids involved. One apparently is much more needy than the other. Consequently, you need to deal with their issues separately. Class placement will help. It will take some experimenting to figure out what works best in terms of seat placement.
I am guessing that since one lad has a prior history - then many of his classmates are aware of the issue from last year - which could be why no complaints?
Glad you talked to last years teachers? Were they at all helpful in giving you ideas on what they did in this situation? Because some of them or all of them had to deal with this. Doesn't mean their ideas will work for you, but its a starting point.
One other reason to talk to last year's teachers. This type of thing (weird as it sounds) is a self soothing thing. Its the start of the year. That is a very anxiety driven kind of thing. There is (hopefully) a good chance that as the year goes on and the kids begin to relax that this will slow down and stop. So do find out how if it got better as the year progressed. And do talk with each teacher as some teachers are more anxiety producers then others. And its hard to believe that for at least one of the kids, they may not even be quite aware what is going on. As you get to know them, there are non embarrassing ways to clue them in. Which brings me to my last point (for now).
Actually, I could go on for quite a while, but it all changes week by week.
So, the one really good piece of advice I can give you (because it always worked for me). Get to know the kids involved! Talk to them at break time, before class, during class. This won't happen overnight,but the more you get to know them, the better it will get.
This will probably go on step by step. You may well have gotten the kids because you are male and younger (might as well get used to that if I am right). Deal with this with a positive feeling. You will learn a lot from this experience.
As the year goes on - if you want any suggestions or just need to vent. I am here. Feel free to message me if you want to keep it private.
And ya, I do look back to the 70's when I was first teaching and they had no clue (or help) for what ADHD was. So I've got a feeling for what you are dealing with. Hang in there.
When I read your post I had two different ideas as to what could be going on - hence the questions I asked. I was hopeful that it was just attention getting which would have been easier to deal with. Unfortunately, that's not the case and you have been introduced to the world of special education. I've been there and do have some suggestions.
As you have found out, its almost impossible to fight the system and that really does not help the child. So you do the best you can to help the kid and also yourself and the others involved.
First, there are two kids involved. One apparently is much more needy than the other. Consequently, you need to deal with their issues separately. Class placement will help. It will take some experimenting to figure out what works best in terms of seat placement.
I am guessing that since one lad has a prior history - then many of his classmates are aware of the issue from last year - which could be why no complaints?
Glad you talked to last years teachers? Were they at all helpful in giving you ideas on what they did in this situation? Because some of them or all of them had to deal with this. Doesn't mean their ideas will work for you, but its a starting point.
One other reason to talk to last year's teachers. This type of thing (weird as it sounds) is a self soothing thing. Its the start of the year. That is a very anxiety driven kind of thing. There is (hopefully) a good chance that as the year goes on and the kids begin to relax that this will slow down and stop. So do find out how if it got better as the year progressed. And do talk with each teacher as some teachers are more anxiety producers then others. And its hard to believe that for at least one of the kids, they may not even be quite aware what is going on. As you get to know them, there are non embarrassing ways to clue them in. Which brings me to my last point (for now).
Actually, I could go on for quite a while, but it all changes week by week.
So, the one really good piece of advice I can give you (because it always worked for me). Get to know the kids involved! Talk to them at break time, before class, during class. This won't happen overnight,but the more you get to know them, the better it will get.
This will probably go on step by step. You may well have gotten the kids because you are male and younger (might as well get used to that if I am right). Deal with this with a positive feeling. You will learn a lot from this experience.
As the year goes on - if you want any suggestions or just need to vent. I am here. Feel free to message me if you want to keep it private.
And ya, I do look back to the 70's when I was first teaching and they had no clue (or help) for what ADHD was. So I've got a feeling for what you are dealing with. Hang in there.
Sandman, by the way you always have such great insight on here! Thank you for continuing to post.
Lisa, I'm not sure what you do for a living, but my mother is a teacher. Not only is it extremely difficult dealing with issues with students, but it is even more difficult finding full time teaching jobs right now. I completely understand grinch's hesitation to make too many waves. So maybe in the future you could be a bit more understanding to the unique situations people are in before jumping to conclusions, especially when they just want help.
Annie you are so my favorite person on here now=)
I couldn't agree more! This is outrageous! How can a school allow this to happen? It is indirect sexual harassment, & definitely should not be tolerated! If my daughter was in this school I would be speaking to the superintendent... Unbelievable... I hope things change for you soon grinch.
I couldn't agree more! This is outrageous! How can a school allow this to happen? It is indirect sexual harassment, & definitely should not be tolerated! If my daughter was in this school I would be speaking to the superintendent... Unbelievable... I hope things change for you soon grinch.
can i also add..that medhelp is here to help people and give them advice and support..so again,i apologise to you...
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