2-year-old masterbating

[Susie N]

Hi,

I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating.  This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.

Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.

As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.

I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.

Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).

What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!

[KevinBarkley]

Anyone at any age enjoys those feelings. It is perfectly natural and healthy. Simply enough all you do when you catch her doing it is tell her that is something you do in private. If someone barged in on you having sex or masturbating and told you to stop and it was bad. Wouldn't you just think they were stupid and get pissed off. All you need to do is convince her that it is inappropriate to do that in front of people and give her some alone time. You cannot and will not stop it without causing serious physiological damage. why would you even debate a medical cure for pleasure.. might as well just do as some cultures do and cut off her clitoris.

[LivingWater777]

JUST pray over your children and invite the Holy Spirit to overshadow them, guide and help them.  THERE Is more power in laying a hand on a child's head when they are asleep and asking God to keep that child in Him that most know.  A mothers prayer, laying hands, especially if the child is asleep and the parent is sincere to God can go a long long long way.

I am not overly religious, but I know this works.  PS - God has shown me visions of Jesus Christ too.. awake a few times like a curtain of sorts opened and HE came at me and I felt heaven?  It was too good to describe, so I am not saying something I have no experience with, although I am not a church goer, I did once ask God to give me a new soul because this one was messed up from the get go.. and I read the new testament asking for a new soul till I saw ASK for the HOLY SPIRIT so I did... over and over... I did... I woke up happier but I kept asking for it still... asking also for God to get me outta here and give me heaven instead...

Asking, reading, asking, reading ... near the end I woke up and I felt heaven... not just felt good, I thought I was dreaming or someone had drugged me or something.. .TOO good to tell you.. but I know this.. that if a person asks for heaven to be given and for the HOLY SPIRIT that that is what God wants, READ, ask, repeat and stick to it.

The whole thing took me three and a half weeks, 12 years ago... and the feeling of heaven grows still within me.. as if heaven is expanding within me, sometimes it takes my breath away it so overwhelming ... took me a while to leave the house because God showed me a lot ... through dreams, visions and what I feel .. even now,, the Living Water flowing from wthin making ALL things that are secret known as it says in Luke..

FORGET about organized faith.. its OKAY, don't me wrong.. but Jesus Christ and the Living Water and HEAVEN being within you is a LOT more literal than people assume, even most Christians... ANY ?'s - ***@****

love u all.. really.. .with a lot of hope that all share in this... soon.

Alex

[LivingWater777]

JUST pray over your children and invite the Holy Spirit to overshadow them, guide and help them.  THERE Is more power in laying a hand on a child's head when they are asleep and asking God to keep that child in Him that most know.  A mothers prayer, laying hands, especially if the child is asleep and the parent is sincere to God can go a long long long way.

I am not overly religious, but I know this works.  PS - God has shown me visions of Jesus Christ too.. awake a few times like a curtain of sorts opened and HE came at me and I felt heaven?  It was too good to describe, so I am not saying something I have no experience with, although I am not a church goer, I did once ask God to give me a new soul because this one was messed up from the get go.. and I read the new testament asking for a new soul till I saw ASK for the HOLY SPIRIT so I did... over and over... I did... I woke up happier but I kept asking for it still... asking also for God to get me outta here and give me heaven instead...

Asking, reading, asking, reading ... near the end I woke up and I felt heaven... not just felt good, I thought I was dreaming or someone had drugged me or something.. .TOO good to tell you.. but I know this.. that if a person asks for heaven to be given and for the HOLY SPIRIT that that is what God wants, READ, ask, repeat and stick to it.

The whole thing took me three and a half weeks, 12 years ago... and the feeling of heaven grows still within me.. as if heaven is expanding within me, sometimes it takes my breath away it so overwhelming ... took me a while to leave the house because God showed me a lot ... through dreams, visions and what I feel .. even now,, the Living Water flowing from wthin making ALL things that are secret known as it says in Luke..

FORGET about organized faith.. its OKAY, don't me wrong.. but Jesus Christ and the Living Water and HEAVEN being within you is a LOT more literal than people assume, even most Christians... ANY ?'s - ***@****

love u all.. really.. .with a lot of hope that all share in this... soon.

Alex

[docswifey]

My oldest daughter is now 7 and she started doing "it" when she was not even two. She would do it on her rocking horse, use her hands between her legs, would use a pillow or rub herself on the strap on the carseat. It was almost obsessive. I honestly never had a problem with her doing it, of course I made sure she didn't do it in public or when we had guests over. She outgrow it by the age of 4. She's a perfectly healthy normal child now.

My now 2 1/2 year old started the same behavior a couple of month ago. She's quite obsessive with it, she does it everywhere and anytime she wants to do it. (which is quite often during the day). I've learned to ignore it when we're at home. It's nothing bad and there's definitely not something wrong with her, like seizures, mental illness, AS or anything like that. It is a natural, developmental normal behavior at this age.

Just wanted to give my input for those who are very worried about that kind of behavior. If your child does it in front of other people, distract her with her favorite toy, suggest a book to read or offer snack/drinks. They usually just do it because they're bored. It's also a repetitive behavior they learned, just like throwing a ball. they do it because it's feels good and is fun for them. They have no idea about sexual relations and are definitely not abused children just because they masturbate.  

[catie22]

Okay, I understand this is a normal thing that most kids do grow out of. It's something that is best ignored when they are too young to understand. And if they do it at times like bedtime, or bathtime, when they are in private anyways, it's best to ignore it. If they do it in public, distraction may work, and if it doesn't, then maybe move them to a private area.

Nonetheless, this doesn't stop any embarrassment a parent feels if say, a bunch of guests are over, and your young child starts rubbing against something, or straddling something between their legs. This has been our problem when our daughter turned two. She would often lie on her tummy, place her hands between her legs, and slide her hips up and down. But the thing is, it took a year or so for her to learn not to do that in front of people. And it would make us feel embarrassed as parents because we don't know what the guests might be thinking. When she was three, we were able to sit her down, and she would understand that she can't do this all the time and not in front of people.

Now she is seven, but we've noticed, she often retreats to her bedroom, and to being alone in order to do this. I don't think this is healthy either. I'm glad she is doing this in private, but I wish it was only at bedtime or something, not having to go there to her bedroom five times a day in order to do this.

[crackerjack4u2]

I have read every reply on this forum about 2 yr old masturbation.  To marty405 Yes it is very normal for an 11 year old boy, you need to now explain to him that you're aware he's having strange feelings in his body and that he is only to explore those areas in private being in his bedroom etc. but never ever in public or in front of other people like at school, church etc.  
Being a RN and also working with MRDD children and adults of all ages I assure you it is perfectly normal behavior for toddlers to explore their private areas or rub on them.  They of course know nothing about sex they just know they like the way it feels.   I can honestly say the issue of possible abuse on 99.9% of these children is most likely non existent and need not even be considered a factor in the behavior.
Only one reply I read concerned me regarding the possibility of sexual abuse and that was the post from Jupsie,  I being that child's grandmother would be watching my grandchild very very closely for signs of abuse.  I would be asking that child a lot of questions like has anyone ever touch you in your private area or Down there, if he answered yes I'd have him at a doctor very quickly, if he answered No but became very withdrawn or started acted strange I would be very concerned.  
The issue of masturbation is not a big problem but the problem arises when the behavior is made a big deal of. Most children will out grow it but as you've read in the replies Not All will.  The more attention you place on the behavior the more likely the child will repeat it.   Never tell a child they are Bad for exploring but also never let them sit there for hours doing it either.  If a child is in their high chair and starts the rubbing, remove them from the high chair without acknowledging what you witnessed.  If they are not finished eating try putting down a blanket or towel on the floor and finishing the meal there.  If they are still in diapers change them if they start the behavior to see if that will help.  Also try potty training ASAP if they are old enough to start, diapers have a tendency to fit snugly in that area and when they urinate the urine is warm and tickles when it  comes out and is redirected back to the appropriate area causing a sensation.   The main thing is to avoid items that stimulate the sensation example items between their legs.  When in the high chair or car seat try rolling up a towel and placing up higher on the abdomen ensuring it is not too tight this will help move the strap between the legs out just enough to prevent them from reaching it.  Attempt to distract them with a toy or a movie etc.  and/or place them in their room or in a private area if unable to redirect the behavior.  I hope these suggestions help you all.