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2-year-old masterbating
Hi,
I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating. This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.
Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.
As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.
I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.
Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).
What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!
I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating. This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.
Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.
As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.
I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.
Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).
What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!
First, perhaps the problem is that you all keep referring to the child's action as masturbation which has a negative stigma. There's nothing wrong with touching, and exploring your body as this child and EVERY CHILD DOES. So many of you seem to be caught up in a warped sense of self. Sounds like another mental disease caused by Christianity. Actually, I think Jesus is shaking his head and all of you for your ignorance and misinterpretation of his teachings. Shame on all of you!
This happened in the car today. Same scenario. Two-year-old. Car seat. Against the strap between her legs. I am relatively open-minded, but yes, it bothered me. Regardless, it seemed bizarre to start saying "no!" over such a thing. I reserve "no!" for dangerous situations and boundary setting. While it's obviously not appropriate to masturbate in a car with your sister and father present, how do you explain that to a two-year-old? It's impossible. Am I now going to equate doing something that is normal (but contextually inappropriate--two-year-olds don't easily grasp context, e.g., a temper tantrum in a busy store) with avoiding rushing cars in a street and not hitting or biting others, by saying "no!" to her over it. At a more aware age perhaps, but at two, it just doesn't make sense, as hard as the whole thing was. Of course, like some of these other people suggested (but without their suggestion), I ran through every person my daughter has ever had contact with, and like other people have indicated, it's impossible that she's been molested (and I'm not in denial about that, or in denial about being in denial about that, etc., etc.) The bottom line is she hates the restraint she feels in her car seat, she stretches and pushes against it all the time, and in doing so, what do you know, she accidentally ran into something that feels good about it. A difficult moment for me? Sure. However, after reading the above and by my own way of thinking, I've determined it's a normal situation regardless of whether it makes me feel uncomfortable or not, and the next step is to parent the situation as normally as possible. When I can explain the appropriate situational context to her, I will. In the meantime, I have determined that normal parenting in this particular instance does not include making an armchair diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder for my two-year-old, calling the police or starting a witch hunt with Child Protective Services, encouraging premature sexuality or applauding her individuality or growth, or having a priest perform an exorcism. I knew the reactions in this post would fall along a range that included crazy extremes, but I found what I was really looking for: I'm not the only parent dealing with this issue in a two-year-old. Period. The End. Thank you!
It is very normal for a child to masterbate! Thats how they explore themselves.. My daughter is 2 and masterbates. I know its something that is going to happen so it really doesnt bother me.. I want her to grown up and be confident in her sexuality and not be ashamed of anything.. So dont worry about anything it is very normal.. Good luck with everything.
One more comment...I read through a few more of these posts and I had to revisit this. Some of you people are OVER REACTING LIKE CRAZY. ITS A NATURAL BODILY FUNCTION, CALM DOWN. I think parents see this and feel sick because they do not want to even think of their innocent child engaging in this behavior. When parents see doctors about this its to ease the suffering of the parent whose freaked out. The kid is not hurt at all. The kid only becomes hurt when THE PARENT OVER REACTS AND MAKES THEM FEEL LIKE A FREAK. God, I just feel like in this day and age we should have more sense then this. The kid needs to be corrected and shown the proper social etiquete. They need constant supervision and they need to know its wrong to do this in public or in front of anyone. They need to know that you dont touch other people in this way and that no one should ever touch u in this way. I mean use your head.At the same time they need to know that this is a normal part of growing up but its a private thing. Its really not that complicated. If you think your child has been abused see a doctor and if they have call police. Some people on this thread are just plain over reacting though, I saw people saying that the kids were probably shown porn and it caused them to act out sexually. I think thats jumping to conclusions that just because a kid saw sex or a naked adult doesnt mean they will reenact it. They would probably think its gross. If your child saw a sex scene by accident make sure you talk to him/her about it. Its not always a big deal.
You know when I was a kid I saw my mother naked and it was no big deal. It was my mother and if your not sick minded why would that even be an issue. Now Im modest so I would never walk around without clothes on even alone lol but I dont think we need to call a swat team if a kid sees a naked lady. When i was like 8 me and my brother were outside on our porch and we saw the neighbors accros the street naked walking around in their bedroom. It was in the summer when they had the lights on. We ran in and were rolling around on the floor laughing and telling our parents. My whole family was cracking up. They werent the type of people who did that on purpose. My mom called over there and we saw her run naked for the phone and we were dying. She was so embarassed and it was the running joke for 10 years on our street. It was funny and it wasnt intended. To us kids it certainly wasnt seen in a sexual way AT ALL. Im afraid in this day and age someone would have us on Dr Phil lol. should we have called police?
Let me give you a for instance, One time my ex boyfriend fell asleep on the couch while he was watching a regular movie on hbo or showtime when his son woke him up for a drink at 3am there was a soft porn move on the tv and he almost died when he saw it. He didnt think his son saw it because he was really half asleep but when I heard about it I told him dont just assume. Talk to your son and explain what he saw and that Daddy doesnt watch those kind of movies and we dont want that kind of movie in our home etc. So things can happen in an innocent way unintended and no one deserves to go to jail because a kid stumbled accross a dirty movie. We have become obsessed as a nation.
You know when I was a kid I saw my mother naked and it was no big deal. It was my mother and if your not sick minded why would that even be an issue. Now Im modest so I would never walk around without clothes on even alone lol but I dont think we need to call a swat team if a kid sees a naked lady. When i was like 8 me and my brother were outside on our porch and we saw the neighbors accros the street naked walking around in their bedroom. It was in the summer when they had the lights on. We ran in and were rolling around on the floor laughing and telling our parents. My whole family was cracking up. They werent the type of people who did that on purpose. My mom called over there and we saw her run naked for the phone and we were dying. She was so embarassed and it was the running joke for 10 years on our street. It was funny and it wasnt intended. To us kids it certainly wasnt seen in a sexual way AT ALL. Im afraid in this day and age someone would have us on Dr Phil lol. should we have called police?
Let me give you a for instance, One time my ex boyfriend fell asleep on the couch while he was watching a regular movie on hbo or showtime when his son woke him up for a drink at 3am there was a soft porn move on the tv and he almost died when he saw it. He didnt think his son saw it because he was really half asleep but when I heard about it I told him dont just assume. Talk to your son and explain what he saw and that Daddy doesnt watch those kind of movies and we dont want that kind of movie in our home etc. So things can happen in an innocent way unintended and no one deserves to go to jail because a kid stumbled accross a dirty movie. We have become obsessed as a nation.
why would you and your husband sit there and watch her in the high chair as she does this until "she tires herself out?" I cant imagine this happening once, let alone multiple times. As soon as you thought something was going on why didnt you say "No" right then, why would you sit there and let this go down? I mean this takes a few minutes and you just sat there? Im sorry but you should have said no and stopped this right away. The fact that you've let this go on and actually watched her do it makes me kind of sick. If you dont stop her before she gets going then you might as well do nothing. If you dont correct this immediately then you are wasting your time. You can do time out everytime she starts say "No, thats Bad" and put her in time out. Dont be afraid to say its bad there will never be a time in her future where masturbating with the table leg in the kitchen in front of people will be a good thing. Do you really need to be told what to do here? Im sorry but people have no sense
I am a first time mom. my daughter is 1 year old. Today for the fist time i encountered this behavior while feeding her dinner in her highchair. She all of a sudden started pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair and kept going. That to me didn't look right and i got the feeling as to what she was doing so i pushed her back and made her set up straight but she went back to doing that and again i made her stop but she got mad and wanted me to leave her. So i decided to just take her out of the highchair and let her roam around for a while so she is distracted, after 5 to 10 min i put her back in the highchair to feed her but this time she had forgotten about that but right when the meal ended some how she went back to doing that. So this time i for sure new what was going on so i took her out of the chair instantly.
I also was so confussed as to what i should do. whom should i talk to, should i even tell my husband or is he going to think i'm sick in the head for saying that about my 1 year old. So i searched online about this and found this forum and i'm glade i'm not the only one going through with this, other ppl have the same issue at hand. But i don't think it's normal for such a little baby to be doing something like this but then again it is human nature and everyone does it. but when it comes to kids this young i think we should make them stop so that they don't get a hand of it and get addicted to doing it.
So as for me as soon as i saw her in this action the first thing that came to mind was that ok she is feeling good and wants to do this but i needed to get her distracted and out of there before she reached the end because once they reach the end and experience how it feels in the end that's when they keep on doing it again and again to feel that same end result and i sure did not want her to feel that because i don't want her to get the habit of doing this. so i made her stop by taking her out of the highchair and from now on every time i see her doing that i will put her some were else and distract her with other things for as long as i can until she understands to do this alone in private when is older.
That would be my best advise as soon as u see ur daughter do this pick her up and distract her, turn the music on and start dancing and singing with her, turn the cartoons on or start talking to her and playing with her or just carry her around the house. Do this every time, don't let her go all the way by just watching her, distract her and soon she will stop doing that when she can't experience the ending.
It only happened to me once but I'm going to do what ever it takes to make sure i distract her right away when i catch her and when she is old enough that's when i will talk to her and explain her that this is normal and to be done alone in private and not to be told or talked about.
Hope this helps.
I also was so confussed as to what i should do. whom should i talk to, should i even tell my husband or is he going to think i'm sick in the head for saying that about my 1 year old. So i searched online about this and found this forum and i'm glade i'm not the only one going through with this, other ppl have the same issue at hand. But i don't think it's normal for such a little baby to be doing something like this but then again it is human nature and everyone does it. but when it comes to kids this young i think we should make them stop so that they don't get a hand of it and get addicted to doing it.
So as for me as soon as i saw her in this action the first thing that came to mind was that ok she is feeling good and wants to do this but i needed to get her distracted and out of there before she reached the end because once they reach the end and experience how it feels in the end that's when they keep on doing it again and again to feel that same end result and i sure did not want her to feel that because i don't want her to get the habit of doing this. so i made her stop by taking her out of the highchair and from now on every time i see her doing that i will put her some were else and distract her with other things for as long as i can until she understands to do this alone in private when is older.
That would be my best advise as soon as u see ur daughter do this pick her up and distract her, turn the music on and start dancing and singing with her, turn the cartoons on or start talking to her and playing with her or just carry her around the house. Do this every time, don't let her go all the way by just watching her, distract her and soon she will stop doing that when she can't experience the ending.
It only happened to me once but I'm going to do what ever it takes to make sure i distract her right away when i catch her and when she is old enough that's when i will talk to her and explain her that this is normal and to be done alone in private and not to be told or talked about.
Hope this helps.
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