1st Grade Daughter Got Recess Taken Away

[JamieJones1985]

Our 6 year old daughter is in 1st grade and this is the first month of school and already she has had 2 out of 3 recesses taken away. Instead, she goes to what is called, "game table" where kids who can't handle recess go and play games, draw, whatever. Basically, according to the principal, some kids can't handle being outside with so much space and so many kids. She was pretty much all over the place i.e.: trying to play with the big kids and when they said no, she was just a baby, and ganged up on her, she kicked them. I know that was wrong and we talked about it. I also know that she is not the only kid out there who uses recess to go out, have fun and let energy out.However, after the incident mentioned above, I think the radar was out on her.

Now, I have sat in on 2 of these game tables to show her support and see what it is like and how she acts. There are maybe a half dozen kids interacting and she seems to be doing fine. However, there are issues now with her in the classroom. She got in trouble for chasing a kid around the classroom. Well, they were both chasing each other, but the teacher singled out Alexa because it seems that now Alexa has a reputation. And the teacher is not the friendliest to me for whatever reason, and whenever I greet her at the door, she never says hello and goes straight into what my daughter has done wrong, right in front of her. She has called her a liar and snorted when Alexa gave her version. Now, I know my child is not an angel, but I guess there is a way of approaching things, and I would rather her pull me aside and talk to me instead of doing it in front of other kids and in an argumentative manner.

I am at my wits end because I am trying to support and be involved with my child's education, but I feel like this game table is isolating her and not letting her release energy. She had some girlfriends in the beginning who seemed to have "turned" on her and don't want to be friends with her anymore. I am not sure why, but I am sure it is partly due to the fact she doesn't get to play with her friends at recess anymore.

It breaks my heart to see my kid go through this. And I feel that I don't have a say in the matter. My husband and I want to sit down and talk to the principal together because I feel the principal and the teacher don't take me seriously. I came to game table today (this is my 2nd time going, once last week and once this week) and we were playing a game together and she comes up and says that Alexa needs to interact with kids and not just me. I was taken aback and kind of embarrassed. Alexa loves when I come. It makes her feel good and I didn't think once a week was a bad thing...

I am not sure if or when she will get her recesses back but I feel like it is slowly causing some damage. She has always been a very social kid and craves to be part of the group, and I feel like this is hindering that and causing disruption in the classroom from energy not being released. Any thoughts? Thanks.

[AnnieBrooke]

I also agree that taking away recess from an active kid is a really poor idea.  

[Sandman2]

    I tend to agree with the above, but its early in the year and schools tend to treat all kids the same till they start to figure out what is going on.  And they should be doing that sooner then later.
     Was she at the same school for kindergarten?  Or where ever she was, did she have the same problems in K?  
    What you need to be seeing is how she is on the playground where she has gotten into trouble.  Not sitting at her game table.
     As a retired elementary school principal, I think that I can say that the last thing a first grader needs to do is to miss recess.  Frankly, I would pair her up with an upper grade student who wants to help out and let her go to recess.
      I am much more concerned about the "other things" that you didn't go into.  I am wondering if this game table is really a form of punishment for classroom behavior (which would never work at this age).  
      What is going on in the classroom?  There are things you can do at home (not punishments!) to help Alexa in the classroom.  If you can give me some of the teacher's complaints, I may be able to give you some ideas.  
      I would stop visiting the game table.  It gives you no really useful info anyway.  I would very politely ask if you could very quietly, non discretely observe her in the classroom or at play, so you can see what is going on and figure out how to help her.  What happens at lunch by the way?  Does she also miss that play time?  Anyway, lots of questions.
      Oh, and at least for the time being - I would be very positive with her teacher.  Ask her teacher how you can help, etc.

[Chima7]

Something like this happened to me in high school when I was a freshman. I had a pre algebra teacher who was this little old lady that kept harassing me in class and singling me out in front of all the other kids. There were kids from all different grades in that class so I was very embarrassed. I came home from school crying one too many times and my dad got very angry at the teacher. My dad was fiercely protective of us and he was like an angry bear if anyone hurt us. So he went to the school one day and had it out with her. I have no idea what he said to her but I remember that from that point on, she was sappy sweet nice to me all the time. My dad passed away last year but I frequently reminded him of that time when he scared my teacher into being nicer to me. He was so amazing and I miss him every day.

I don't know if that helps you or not but I have been thinking a lot about my dad today and wanted to share that little story. I don't know if your husband would have the same ability to get that teacher to back off and quit being rude to your daughter but if he hasn't been there yet maybe he should try. Sometimes teachers need to be put in their place by the parents. Hey, your taxes are paying their salary and their pension so don't be afraid to stand up for your kid. It sounds like that teacher needs to be given a stern lecture about how to not alienate a child who is only 6 years old for crying out loud!

[AnnieBrooke]

Change class, or change schools.  The principal will just think it's your word against the teacher's, but he or she can't ignore the message it sends when a parent decides to pull the kid out of the class entirely.  Don't make a fuss, request it through proper channels, and if the principal won't do it, take your child out of the school.  A parent in my son's kindergarten pulled her daughter out after one too many disagreements with the teacher and put her in a different school, happened to be one with a religious base but it wouldn't have had to be, and her daughter did fine there.

[baby2014]

My thoughts would be you could possibly request to have her switched to a different class. I had a kindergarten teacher like that. She always singled me out and would call me a liar when I tried to tell her that the other children were starting to pick on me. My mom some how had me switched to a different classroom and everything was much better. I can't stand the fact that teachers find ways to bully students and they always have their favorites. It's not very professional. I hope all works out for your daughter.