Inappropriate or not?

[Pernody]

I am a mother of 3 boys. All grown. I recently started dating a man that has a 9 year old daughter. He is my age just had her late in life. I feel her behavior is in appropriate. She constantly is grabbing her fathers breasts and squeezing them. She is always trying to find ways to hit him in his private areas and then laugh. As if this is not enough. She will do whatever means it takes ot get her fathers attention, if he is giving it to someone else. When we do share my bed together, we catch her sneaking in the room. She will come up and sit between me and her father. Even if it means sitting on me to get in between us. If she can't get in between us she will just sit on his lap. I would have thought this was just normal jealousy until she started doing it in restaurants whie he was trying to eat. She cries if he does not sleep with her at nigth when they are at my home. I really care about him. However, I am not sure how much more of this I can handle. Is her behavior normal, is there some kind of underlying issue here?

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Well, there is a wide range of normal when it comes to 9 year old kids and parent/child relationships.  What you see as her grabbing his "breasts" is her being playful to him and joking around.  Does he allow it?  He's the parent and therefore, HE sets the boundaries.  That he hasn't done so is a parental issue rather than a needy child (which she very well may be as are many kids from divorced settings).  

so, I don't know if her behavior is normal or over the top but as you've recently started dating him, I don't think it is worth pursuing a relationship with him.  He's satisfied with his relationship with her, he allows it, it is what it is.

If it is annoying, I'd just move on as you describe yourself as recently dating.  Dating is to rule people in and out of our life regarding being someone we can go to the next level in the relationship with.  He's got a kid and their relationship stresses you out.  Probably won't change dramatically-----  so I would cut your losses and look for a guy that parents more like you and doesn't have that kind of situation going on.  good luck

[Pernody]

Yes he allows the behavior. Actually, he laughs about it. When I expressed that I feel those behaviors are inappropriate he told me to leave it alone. He then will tlel me I am right and he will talk to her and then a few days goes by and they are right back at it. Thank You for your advice, very helpful.

[specialmom]

It does sound like he is satisfied with how things are between he and his daughter.  Honestly, some situations are just not worth the agitation and stress.  good luck and I'm sure there is a better situation for you out there in terms of dating!

[PassinThru]

Well, she obviously doesn't want you around and is very successful at upsetting you. And he doesn't seem to care particularly about your discomfort. What does that tell you?

By the way, where is the kid's mother in all this?