3 year old son killed cat

[worriedmom252]

My son will be 4 in July.  Two months ago, we brought a cat into our home.  He played with the cat and loved the cat, and the majority of his interactions with the cat were supervised.  Today he woke before I did and went into our laundry room where he helps with putting clothes into the dryer.  He put the cat into the dryer and turned it on.  When I found the cat, he was on the floor in front of the dryer and had already passed away.  It appeared he was wet and there was a spray bottle with soapy water and the top off on top of the dryer.  The bottle is one I made for him so he could "help" me clean.  From what I can tell, he tried to "clean" the cat by spraying him with the water, then putting him in the dryer.  I'm sure my son didn't know he would kill his cat, but I'm beside myself with grief and not sure how to handle making sure he knows what he did was wrong.  I told him, "what you did hurt the kitty, now kitty is gone to heaven."  I more yelled it when I found the cat, I admit, I was very upset, I've never had a pet die of unnatural causes and never actually seen one of my pets dead.  I'm not getting another animal.  Can someone tell me if he's too young to understand death?  How should I handle this?  I know it was an accident, but I can't help but feel a bit of "what's wrong with you?" as I look at him knowing what happened...my heart is just broken.  I have three other children who don't know yet that their cat is gone.  I know I can't tell them what really happened, it's too gruesome, so should I tell them it ran away, or passed away and leave out the details?  Thank you.

[zammerjammer]

I'm not really sure by what definitioin this could be classified as an accident. Your kid didn't trip and knock the cat into the dryer -- he put the cat in on purpose and turned it on. Maybe supervise your children? Especially when they are old enough to take actions like this but are too young yet to have empathy or foresight?

[chigirl29]

That is so horrible.  I don't think he meant to hurt the cat either.  My parents once told me my bunny ran away--and then while playing outside, I found it dead.  It had gotten out of the hutch and a dog gnawed on it.

I don't think you have to worry about your children happening upon the cat so ran away might be okay..just have answers on how it could have left--you know how kids are.

I'm terribly sorry to hear about your cat.

[RockRose]

This is a really horrible,  awful accident.

I don't think he had any intention of killing the cat.  I think he was purposely kind of being mean to the cat,  like tail pulling as twokids mentioned,  but I don't think he had any idea it would kill it - 3 year olds don't even understand death.

How awful,  though.  I'm sorry your family is going through this.  I do think you need to find it in your heart to forgive your son,  and maybe even allow him to choose the box to bury the cat in,  and maybe he can plant a plant on the grave so that he can express his grief.  

[twokids19]

Well...I am going to start off with there is "nothing wrong with you" period.  I really think this was an accident & he didn't mean to do it.  It was kind of nice that he was trying to "help clean the cat"  I feel bad for you & your son, you, because now you might have to face explaining death to a 3 year old & for you son because at 3 he has to know about death.  We have a cat too & sometimes my daughter, who is also 3, will pull her tail, I explained that she will hurt Fiona,  (the cat), after a few times, she was fine & now just gives her hugs & kisses.  I hope all goes well.  Good Luck...