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3.6 year old boy refuses all potty training tactics. Best way to proceed?
My son is 3 years & 7 months old. We have been potty training him since he was 2.5 years. He has peed in the toilet 1x and pooped 1x (MONTHS ago). Nothing more. I have tried incentives (stickers, sticker charts, lolipops, toy cars, parties, cake, balloons, presants, Wiggles concert tickets, trips to the Children's Museum, & a trip on a REAL airplane to Orlando...we're going in January either way). Recently, I said "No more TV & No more computer until you use the potty. Those things are for big kids." Each time he goes, he gets 30 minutes screen time. He has happily gone a week now without TV & Computer or the potty.
I have talked about "Babies in Diaper" and "Big Boys in underwear". I have tried asking him to "Help Mommy". I have talked about how "Proud Mommy, & Daddy, & Grandma...etc." will be. I have talked about all the big kids at preschool (He's the only one out of all 24 in diapers...including boys 1 year younger than him). The teacher at school works with him every day too.
I asked a child psychologist about it about 6 months ago and he said. "Just put him in underwear. It's messy, but who's going to get more uncomfortable first, him or you?" The answer: Me. My boy would lay in pee and/or poop soaked clothed for hours before concenting to "be responsible for himself" and take off his soiled clothes. After awhile, I would contain him (and the mess in his bedroom until he concented to get cleaned up. I never yelled, I just stated the concequences for his actions and followed through with them.
I have also tried dropping the subject entire. My boy is thrilled with that. It's his dream come true...never using the potty. I have never forced him to sit on the potty when he was upset. I usually ask him if he wants to...he always says no. Sometimes, I strongly encourage him with stories, etc. He will sit there. He has no fear of sitting there (pantsless).
I believe he does not want to let go of his "baby ways". I believe he doesn't want to be "bothered". I also believe he enjoys the power he has by "not doing what Mommy wants". I KNOW he is physically ready to be potty trained. He usually wakes up dry. If I mention it and suggest the potty, he immediately pees in his diaper. Then, he may or may not agree to sit there, but by then, there's no point. EVERY TIME he sits on the potty, he pees or poops beforehand...holds it while on the potty...then pees/poops again IMMEDIATELY after. Not using the potty is VERY deliberate.
My question is...what is the best way for me to proceed. He definately doesn't want to use the potty, but could care less about extrinsic or intrinsic rewards. I'm afrain if I completely let it go he will just think..."FINALLY, she's stopped bugging me." Also, my son has been wearing Goodnights underpants for over a year now because he is a very tall kid and outgrew all diapers & pull-ups before he was even ready to potty train. Help! This is SO expensive & frustrating! Thanks!
I have talked about "Babies in Diaper" and "Big Boys in underwear". I have tried asking him to "Help Mommy". I have talked about how "Proud Mommy, & Daddy, & Grandma...etc." will be. I have talked about all the big kids at preschool (He's the only one out of all 24 in diapers...including boys 1 year younger than him). The teacher at school works with him every day too.
I asked a child psychologist about it about 6 months ago and he said. "Just put him in underwear. It's messy, but who's going to get more uncomfortable first, him or you?" The answer: Me. My boy would lay in pee and/or poop soaked clothed for hours before concenting to "be responsible for himself" and take off his soiled clothes. After awhile, I would contain him (and the mess in his bedroom until he concented to get cleaned up. I never yelled, I just stated the concequences for his actions and followed through with them.
I have also tried dropping the subject entire. My boy is thrilled with that. It's his dream come true...never using the potty. I have never forced him to sit on the potty when he was upset. I usually ask him if he wants to...he always says no. Sometimes, I strongly encourage him with stories, etc. He will sit there. He has no fear of sitting there (pantsless).
I believe he does not want to let go of his "baby ways". I believe he doesn't want to be "bothered". I also believe he enjoys the power he has by "not doing what Mommy wants". I KNOW he is physically ready to be potty trained. He usually wakes up dry. If I mention it and suggest the potty, he immediately pees in his diaper. Then, he may or may not agree to sit there, but by then, there's no point. EVERY TIME he sits on the potty, he pees or poops beforehand...holds it while on the potty...then pees/poops again IMMEDIATELY after. Not using the potty is VERY deliberate.
My question is...what is the best way for me to proceed. He definately doesn't want to use the potty, but could care less about extrinsic or intrinsic rewards. I'm afrain if I completely let it go he will just think..."FINALLY, she's stopped bugging me." Also, my son has been wearing Goodnights underpants for over a year now because he is a very tall kid and outgrew all diapers & pull-ups before he was even ready to potty train. Help! This is SO expensive & frustrating! Thanks!
I felt like crying when I read all your postings. I am so glad to hear that someone is in the same boat as I am. I have a little boy that turns 4 in a couple of weeks. I would love for you to send me the two page report that you've been talking about. Me email is ***@****. Thanks so much.
Just sent it ... good luck to you too! Would love to hear back if anyone used any of it and if it helped??
it is really not a comment but i need help. My son is going to be 4 in march and is not happy with potty training. when you let it go like not make a big deal about it do you keep putting some diapers on him or do just let him be in underwear and hope for the best.
email me at ***@****. i would really would like all the advice i can get.
thank you
diana
email me at ***@****. i would really would like all the advice i can get.
thank you
diana
I am in the same boat! Could D99GO3 please pass that information on to me. I am up for anything! Thanks. My email is ***@****
oops in regards to getting the advice, my e-mail is ***@****
I just sent that info. to you. Good luck!
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