3yr Old Son - Bad Behavior has got him suspended from Daycare

[HelpMompls]

Hi,

Please help me, my soon to be 4yr old son normally a very sweet child has been behaving lately very inappropriate at his daycare from hitting/biting his friends to spitting, not sitting still during circle time and running from the teachers that today he hit a little girl in the stomach for no reason and then tried to hit his teacher when she tried to redirect him.  He has now been suspended for a day (something I am totally in awe about, cannot believe a 3yr child suspended) but I guess they have to do what they feel is the right thing - Now they do not seem prepared to assist me with him or give me some ideas other than telling me the next time I will be asked to seek alternate daycare arrangements - Can someone give me some suggestions, I have tried timeout, taking his toys away, tv and his little computer and even a spanking but that only seems to help at the time and then I am back to square one the next day.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.  Thanks in advance.

[yullie22]

I believe your son is just trying to grab attention from anybody to get noticed at,and that seems to happen at that age!!!!I myself went through a situation similiar to that with my lil boy and had to actually get him off the daycare and spend more time with him.Which really helped him by the time he had to go to pre -k.

[DK122]

Well, my son was kicked out of three day cares for biting, hitting and kicking.  I eventually had to put him in a home day care where the situation could be more controlled.  Even when he started kindergarden I had to put him in a child seat on the bus because he refused to sit down.  In many cases you have teachers that just don't take the time to help teach, or have the patience for biting and hitting.  
My son was moved from the 3's to the 2's to the 4's all to see if he would do better in that school but I think it was more confusing.

And we tried everything.  EVERYTHING, taking the toys, computer, time out. None of it worked.  

After the home day care, it was better.  Not so many children, more controlled and he could be included in more activities like helping with snack and cleanup to keep him busy.  

[kerry74]

I have taught preschool for 5 years and think you made a great decision.  While hitting, spitting, etc. is not at all uncommon (especially from boys) I think the fact it has progressed and he is now being punished for his behaivor, instead of helped, is only adding to it.  Boys seem to have a difficult time handling their emotions and need quite a bit of help and love to work through them.  My son went through the same thing when he was 3.  He luckily had a wonderful teacher that spent extra time helping him find other ways to get his point accross.  When they were in circle time he was on her lap, when he would hit she would hold his hands and explain why he was not allowed to hurt others.  I learned a lot from her and found myself teaching in that manner.  He just needs guidance and he needs a teacher not someone that will punish him for emotions and actions that are truely valid to him.  I hope you find someone to love him and work with him.  Don't get discouraged.  My son is 8 now and doing great and so are all the little people I taught that did the exact same thing (at least two or three a year).

[margypops]

I mean attitude from the day care

[margypops]

Way to go caring Mom I hope others read this post from you, too much of this attitude goes on, I dont think they wre probably supervising enough. Pick a day care where you can sit in or arrive when you want to, make sure it is one where they paly with the children ,outside activities and Fun not boredom,

[HelpMompls]

Thanks to everyone for your words.  I picked my son up yesterday and told them he will not be back and they were like "why" and I said quite frankly I don't like the attitude around here and my son is obviously not happy and he needs to be in a nurturing environment and its obvious this is not, so I am taking his stuff and you can try to stop me but it would be best to let me go and then they asked well are you taking him to another daycare?  Have you found one?  and I just told them, what I am doing and where we are going quite frankly is none of your business and with that walked out the door and left them standing there shocked.

[Traceylee88]

HI i have a 4year with behaviour problems atm im going through a biting stage with her she has left her brothers arms black,blue and purple, but i found that when she started daycare she was really bad it wasnt intill i relized it wasnt my child it was the teaches she wasnt trying to hurt a child but it was the only was to get bk at the teaches because thats when they showed her attention, if its bad attention thats thats better then none isnt it, i went through 3 daycares now i have put her in one where i feel confident that my child is in safe and caring hands and they take the time to listen to her, lets face it we pay all this money and we really dont know what gos on after we drop them off.....and if there not willing to help you with this then it sounds to me that its just another careless daycare looking to make a $$$, if thats their attiude and there not giving you the time of day to sit down and help you work through this for your child sake then how do you think they are treating your child once your not around.....if i were you i would be happy to pull my child out and find a better child care centre....

[Jessie12]

I have never heard of any daycare suspending a child... but I guess they are just getting us ready for regular school.

We've had simular problems. There were just too many kids in his room and he wasnt getting any one on one attention unless he was getting in trouble. We changed daycares on our own will and he hasnt had any problems... there are only 12 kids in his class and there are always 2 teachers in there.