Teenage sexual desire

[worriedstepmom74]

I have a 14 year old step son who looks at me in a sexual way. My husband and I have approached it multiple times. I know this is a subject that needs to be dealt with in a loving way. I have addressed my feelings with him telling him that I love and care about him like my own child. I became emotional and asked him to please stop. My husband and I have also told him that sneaking in the bathroom, peaking in the windows, stealing my panties and sneaking out of our house at bedtime and trying to listen to my husband and I at bedtime makes me feel very uncomfortable and disrespected. This has been going on for about a year. We have seen a family therapist, we have taken his I pod away and everytime I think it has resolved something else happens. Last night my husband and the 4 kids went to bed. I was up cleaning the kitchen and getting things set for the morning when I heard someone go into the bathroom. The next thing I knew my step son came into the kitchen in just a towel. I was speechless......I think he may had seen my dumb founded look and said he was looking for toilet paper. I had put a new roll of toilet paper in a few hours before. At that time I immediately left the kitchen and went into my bedroom. We have a bathroom in our bedroom so I went into think about what had happened and the next thing I knew my step son was peeking in the window at me. My husband and I don't know how to handle this behavior. The very first time this happened we spoke to him and explained to him about privacy and set boundries. We speak to him in a loving way telling him that this is normal teenage behavior ,but he needs to control his sexual desires. We have tried giving him outlets such as talking to his dad, going to the therapist and gave him a Fredrick's of Hollywood magazine. I feel so uncomfortable and frustrated with this. We don't know how to handle this. Does anyone have any suggestions????

[margypops]

Make sure that you are not contributing to this behavior however unwittingly it may be ,maybe he thinks its okay ,have you talked to him like a Mom and told him Bluntly its inappropiate??No Emotion just plain cold facts and with your husband presant so he knows you mean it and are not in any way amused by it.

[CP70]

first its creepy... It sounds more like an obsession and NO its not normal behavior.

Keep your blinds drawn in your bathroom so he can no peer in.

get a sound machine to filter the sounds of your intimate moments with your husband

get a lockable doorknob for your bedroom door and keep it locked

how have you handled this with your husband?

I might be wrong here but I think you need to either avoid him all together when you are alone or confront him in the moment.. With out your husband.  You can tell him you are not interested, you do not like his behavior and sneakiness with out belittling - but you need to give the harsh reality to him. ITS an OBSESSION! and completely UNHEALTHY!

this behavior is a warning signs of potential dangerous behavior in his future. Has he ever had a normal relationship with adult women before?

What does the therapist say? how did he say to handle it?