My 5 year old son tore up my bush!

[KatherineCarroll82]

My son tore up the bush in the front yard because he was not allowed to play with his brothers carmera. This is what I did/  I made him clean up the mess, I sat sdown and talked to him, made him pick out his punishment (which was to go to bed for a total of 2 hours until dinner) Tell his father what his did.  I told him that he was not allowed to tear up other peoples things or his own, that if he felt made to go outside run around and stomp his feet, anything but what he did.  

I have been seeing more and more incedents where he is expressing his anger in a not so healthy way.  Is there and advice that I can use to try to reduce the occurences of these outburst because he can't have his own way.  I wiould like to try to handle this as much a possible at home, but if it is the advice to seek help I will.  He is very smart.  He does chores to earn things, rules are on the wall.  I am the Nanny 911 of Moms.  

[margypops]

It is right not to let him play with his brothers camera unless his brother was asked if he could,he should not have torn up the Bush,did you ask why he did that, also he could be jealous of his Brother, I assume the Brother is older to have a Camera, perhaps some extra attention for him from his Dad some sports or Ball Games to make him feel special.Actually the Punishmenst seemed Fair to me and you handled it well/

[RockRose]

I kind of think you might be overreacting a bit.

Was this some shrub out in the yard that no one cares about - just something in a line of plants that get watered,  but aren't special?  (If it was a very special one,  say like a very favorite rose bush,  that's a different thing).

What you want to do is make him feel remorse from inside,  not defensive and more angry.  I think expressing sorrow about the bush ("Oh no,  look what you've done,  I really liked that plant") and then taking him to Home Depot to pick out another plant (one of his choosing) and making him pay a small amount for itl,   maybe 2 dollars,  would have a much stronger affect.  And make him dig the other one up,  and plant this one correctly and water it in.  If you do this in kind of a subdued way,  not with loud anger but kind of resolve that you will solve the problem of the missing bush,  I think it would help him more to feel responsible.

And then,  when can he play with his brother's camera,  or how can he earn one sometime that he can play with himself?

Best wishes.

[althepal39]

Maybe he is feeling too controlled?  Or there is some kind of sibling rivalry going on?