4 year old acting out badly

[2terrified]

I have taken away his toys, time out, spankings.  Today he threw a toy at a teacher, ran with a stick and almost stabbed a friend, told someone they need to DIE, and i personally caught him talking back to another teacher.  What now?  I am locking away all his toys, unplugged his tv, and talked to him when I spanked him to tell him what he did wrong.  I know he's going to get in trouble to learn from his mistakes, but how do i stop this disturbing behavior?

[2terrified]

Since I posted, we have had our ups and downs.  I started a behavioral chart to reward his good behavior and make a big deal out of it.  I have seen much improvement.  But kids are always up to something so he still has a long way to go.  

A lot of it is because his father is not in the picture at this time.  But he has plenty of positive male role models around.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.  Good luck to the rest of you as well!

[nj196840]

I have no advice but I totally understand how you feel. I am going throught the same thing with my 4 yr old. We have tried everything as well. I did watch the Dr. Phil show yesterday and plan on watching it today. I am not sure it will help but I am up for anything right now. I hope things can get better for both of us. I really feel like I am lossing my mind. I have even been checking out books and sites to help with anger. Both his and mine. I feel like it is all my fault but I know that I  am not the one with the problem he is and we both need to work together to fix it.

[Jessie12]

I have been having similar problems with my 4 yr old son.  We have tried everything too... I blame the majority of his problems on his bio mom since she just dropped out of is life and hasnt talked to him in over a year. Then the other problem I saw was that there were over 20 kids in his room at daycare.  Most of them were kids that just turned 3... so Im sure they were getting more attention than the older kids. We recently changed daycares and there are only 12 kids in his class and there are always 2 teachers.  We havent had any problems since he started there. I think he was just looking for attention and that was the only way he was getting it.

[kdaily]

I was going through some of your post after your response to "is it safe" and saw this....

Just wanted to let you know (not sure if you've heard of it) but the DR. Phil show is holding a special in relations to the problem you're having;
four families are in it and they go through a program with dr phil,
it started today the next show is tomorrow, not sure if you can watch it but he is gonna give some great advise on how to handle these issues.

Me myself, I don't know squat about kids but thought you might get something from this episode.