Abandonment Issue?

[Charlotte372]

My son is 11 and lives with his father - we seperated when my son was 7 although I see my son every weekend and also once or twice during the week.

Recently my son has started to become extremely distressed if someone is out and does not return within the timeframe that he thinks they should - so for example he will calculate that walking the dog will take 20 minutes - if it is any longer then he will try to call the person on their phone - if they do not answer then he becomes beside himself and is really very distressed.  I am assuming this probably stems from his father and I separating and would appreciate some ideas on how to deal with this,  Thank you so much for your time.

[Charlotte372]

Thank you very much for your comments - I will certainly purchase the book having read the reviews.

He does do sports and spends time with both myself and his father (although perhaps not enough time when it is just me and him - which I need to change) - he appears balanced in every respect apart from this when he really does lose the ability to see reason - he is bright and articulate but this is obviously a worry and I hate to see him getting so distressed,,, I dont want to put him into therapy if I can avoid it as I dont want him to think that he has a "problem"

Thanks again

[margypops]

When you say you see him each weekend and in the week does he get to stay with you and have long quality time with you ,he may be missing his Moms love and attention, any chance you could have him more, I feel its very important for a child to have equal time and possibly more with their Mom, it does sound as if he has some seperation issues so definatly some positive talk is good and make sure he has sports and games in his life , not dwelling on being lonely.... by himself.

[greensh5]

Purchase the book 'we're having a tuesday.  I found it great for my step-daughter.  As well, reassure him that he is loved by both parents. Always keep a positive front with him and speak to his father in front of him, both reassuring him that everyone is happy, even living in different homes.  Its tough, I know!  Good luck!