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Awareness of infants and toddlers
This is not a question but a baffling observation.
Today my 5-year-old son was about to fall asleep then sat up again and said: "Mommy, did you know - your brother is dead." I gulped but I know my brother is alive. "When we went to Europe" he continued, "he was already dead and we put flowers in front of the RIP stone. People are dead forever until they get better. Your brother is in a nice box and when he wants the flowers, he pulls them through the soil."
Reality is that we did fly to Europe when my son was just 14 months old and my dad - not my brother - had passed away just a day before we arrived to introduce his new grandson to him. Totally unexpected, no illness. My son witnessed my heartache and the funeral and the foreign country but by no means did he speak more than about 30 words back then. During the funeral, he pushed his toy car around the chapel humming happily. People are still touched how life and death were so close together in one room.
I never spoke about these days later on with him or anyone. There are no pictures. And today, 5 years later, he summarized what he had seen as a baby. It makes me feel for all the kids who experience much worse and can not talk about it.
Today my 5-year-old son was about to fall asleep then sat up again and said: "Mommy, did you know - your brother is dead." I gulped but I know my brother is alive. "When we went to Europe" he continued, "he was already dead and we put flowers in front of the RIP stone. People are dead forever until they get better. Your brother is in a nice box and when he wants the flowers, he pulls them through the soil."
Reality is that we did fly to Europe when my son was just 14 months old and my dad - not my brother - had passed away just a day before we arrived to introduce his new grandson to him. Totally unexpected, no illness. My son witnessed my heartache and the funeral and the foreign country but by no means did he speak more than about 30 words back then. During the funeral, he pushed his toy car around the chapel humming happily. People are still touched how life and death were so close together in one room.
I never spoke about these days later on with him or anyone. There are no pictures. And today, 5 years later, he summarized what he had seen as a baby. It makes me feel for all the kids who experience much worse and can not talk about it.
Trial - your son has the gift of very long term memory! That's a great thing. It's amazing, isn't it, the context that a little baby can put this whole thing in, how clearly he remembers what happened although the detail of who died is a little fuzzy. The rest is very clear.
My youngest son has a memory from when he was 11 months old. We were at Caddo Lake, which is a swamp with mossy trees hanging over it - looks like a Louisiana Bayou. We were in a canoe, the 5 of us, and my husband told the story of when he was a child his family was in the Okefenokee (sp) swamp, and an alligator came up to their canoe and his dad had to fight it off with the paddle - and my husband kind of reinacted the battle. EEKS it kind of freaked out my kids and they kept looking for alligators at Caddo. Then when my youngest son was about 5, like your son, he said wow remember that time we were in the swamp and Dad had to fight off the alligtaor with the paddle? And he remembered it so clearly -although the memory kind of crossed and he remembered the alligator was there, not a story of an alligator. It was amazing. He told the whole story, and did the fighting motion so clearly, he remembered it. He still insists the memory is true, not a mixed memory, though.
It is sad, you're right, for kids who have seen awful things and lived through crises, they must remember those things too on some level.
My youngest son has a memory from when he was 11 months old. We were at Caddo Lake, which is a swamp with mossy trees hanging over it - looks like a Louisiana Bayou. We were in a canoe, the 5 of us, and my husband told the story of when he was a child his family was in the Okefenokee (sp) swamp, and an alligator came up to their canoe and his dad had to fight it off with the paddle - and my husband kind of reinacted the battle. EEKS it kind of freaked out my kids and they kept looking for alligators at Caddo. Then when my youngest son was about 5, like your son, he said wow remember that time we were in the swamp and Dad had to fight off the alligtaor with the paddle? And he remembered it so clearly -although the memory kind of crossed and he remembered the alligator was there, not a story of an alligator. It was amazing. He told the whole story, and did the fighting motion so clearly, he remembered it. He still insists the memory is true, not a mixed memory, though.
It is sad, you're right, for kids who have seen awful things and lived through crises, they must remember those things too on some level.
thats wierd,
When i was 3 my greatgrandmother passed away and while we were at the ceremony I got a little to close to the casket and I slipped in between the metal bar were the casket sits and the ground. If it wasnt for my moms fast thinking of grabbing my long hair I would have went in the ground under her. I am now 26 and I remember that day like it was yesterday, freaks me out every time I think about it. Sadly I am still scared of ceremonys and funerals, I have nightmare everytime I go to one.
He probably does remember it.
When i was 3 my greatgrandmother passed away and while we were at the ceremony I got a little to close to the casket and I slipped in between the metal bar were the casket sits and the ground. If it wasnt for my moms fast thinking of grabbing my long hair I would have went in the ground under her. I am now 26 and I remember that day like it was yesterday, freaks me out every time I think about it. Sadly I am still scared of ceremonys and funerals, I have nightmare everytime I go to one.
He probably does remember it.
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