8 years old boy still play "pretending games"

[mamoc65]

My son always is playng "pretending games" saying that he is a character of a story or a business man, and others crazy  stories and seems normal and very realistic. At school he is telling his friends that kind of stories and the kids are calling him "stupid and silly" and laughing at him. He is getting very upset and saying he will kill himself. Is that normal a 8 years old boy does not know he diference between what is pretending and what is real ? How could I help him to understand it ?

[mnm4242]

My daughter is ALWAYS pretending. She is 7 years old. We can't do anything without her pretending. It really makes it hard for her to do basic stuff because she won't focus on what she's supposed to do, only on her pretend. I have to tell her to stop pretending and that never goes over very well. She is extremely imaginative and LOVES fantasy. Previous poster, thanks for the tip on how it could be escaping reality for some inadequacy. My daughter has a hard time doing stuff (jump roping, hand clap games, making bracelets, etc). She struggles since she hasn't had a lot of practice because she ALWAYS pretends instead of doing those things. When I get a chance to play with her, I offer suggestions to do other things, but she only wants to pretend with me. I do it since we only have 1 hour to play with each other and I want her to play what she wants, otherwise she won't be happy. It's hard, but I am not too concerned. I'm just going to try to minimize her pretending a bit and engage her in other things. I was also thinking of having her do art and drawing her pretends and also having her write down her pretends so that she had different avenues instead of just acting it out. Good luck and if I were you I'd just roll with it. As for the saying he wants to die thing, that I would have him talk to a child therapist about because that sounds worrisome. As for the mean kids at school, talk to you son about bullying and how to handle it. Or, if you think the school might not be a good fit, maybe he needs a more creative school. Like an art school or Waldorf or some other private school where creativity is more welcomed.

[mamoc65]

Thanks for the advice. It help me a lot. I will talk with a counselor.

[specialmom]

Oh goodness.  This makes me sad.  I think it is normal for some kids to still pretend at 8 and is actually the sign of a wonderful imaginative mind.  That is, of course, unless he is doing it to escape reality.  Then I'd begin to work on his self image.  Sometimes pretending to be something fabulous in play shows that in real life a child feels inadequate.  Bolster his self esteem if this is the case.  But I would not be at all upset if my child played pretend games at 8 and actually my 7 year old and most of his friends still do this actively.  They tend to act out super heros and such but whatever.  Your boy likes being a business man.  Is that what dad does?

So then it takes you to kids making fun of him.  Ugh.  Kids are cruel and I hate that.  Does he in general lack social skills?  Does he have any friends to speak of that he plays with?  You could tell your boy that the pretend games are for after school and at home only.  Then help him play what the other kids are playing and doing that are his age.  I'd also talk to the teacher and let her know this is going on.  I go back to the question if your son needs some help in the social department.  

Why do you say that he doesn't know what the difference is between what is real and not real?  Do you think he doesn't know?  You've not said anything that makes me think that so you'll have to explain further.  

And if you fear that he is depressed, a counselor is something I'd highly recommend.  good luck