Can you please help me?

[patsyburrell]

My husband and I have been married over 20 years and we have a 18 year old daughter and 14 year old son.  My husband never give my daughter the time of day.  Her and I have always been so close.  It''s all different now, she never wants to be around me and it appears she hates the sight of me.  My husband has been going to her bedroom constantly laying on her bed and talking.  Then of course he says he fell asleep but this is now an everynight situation and now he wants her to go everywhere with him.  Their whole relationship is different.  Could he possibly be having sex with his own daughter?  What do you think is really going on?


This discussion is related to Sleeping in bed with mom.

[Mickey225]

There is so little information and so many possibilities. This thread is 8 years old. On the surface from the information given this does not sound "normal" for the father to be with the daughter most all the time and not with the rest of the family. And behind a closed or locked door. I'm a 50's dad of a 6 year old daughter and have been in relationships with women that had kids. I'm a single dad due to our wonderful wife/mothers untimely death. I've been a good father or "father figure" to all of the kids from my two past relationships. I've seen and heard a lot of things in my time.

Does the daughter "hate" the mother for some reason? Is the daughter trying to destroy the family because the mother has been verbally or psychologically abusive to the daughter? Does the daughter have other psychological or drug problems? Is the mother paranoid/jealous and overstating the issue? Has the mother been controlling and mean?  The BIG question, are the father and daughter actually having/developing a sexual relationship? Children and teenagers can sometimes be devious also. Is the daughter trying to split the family up or make the mother jealous? If a divorce is looming and/or the parents relationship is bad, are both parents trying to coach the kids to take their side?


If someone else is in a similar situation I would suggest hiring a private detective to install cameras and investigate, if you can not do this yourself. Protect your children but don't falsely accuse the other parent. Why not just open the door and walk in, listen? It's hard to believe something of a sexual nature is going on right in the house and the mother not being able to know it. There may be much more going on in this family than what little information was given. If they are having a sexual relationship and since the daughter is 18 it might be difficult to do anything about it legally depending on state laws. Why do the mother and daughter have a poor relationship. Did that come first? It seems I mostly have a lot of questions that will never be answered. As I said from the start this does not seem "normal" as described by the mother.

[BenzZ2019]

1)IF something sexual is going on, then obviously, it didn't just suddenly start at the daughter's age of 18 but more likely sometime after onset of puberty where the female body is transitioning to Womanhood, where a man/possibly pedo-father, would begin to see her as more sexually appealing and therefore begin to develop and show  sudden interest in spending quality time with her where gradually The Grooming process will set in, (if he's in fact, a pedo father with a Sinister interest.2)This is a serious accusatory assumption being made here and therefore warrants and ABSOLUTE confirmation that a sexual and or inappropriate relationship Unbecoming of a father,is actually taking place, before irreparable damage occurs as a result of taking legal action without having all the facts. 3) There's nothing wrong with lying down with and spending time with one's daughter at any hour of the day or night if it happens occasionally but this father's behaviors and actions involving his daughter is indeed very questionable and eyebrow raising because NO father should be spending so much time with and sleeping over in bed with his teenage adult daughter ON THE REGULAR, during bedtime hours. That's about as red as a flag can get. If you're unsure what to do,then seek professional advice.

[ambermana]

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but coming from someone who was molested by her father it sounds very suspicious..may at least be the beginning of grooming her, making it feel like it's normal for him to sleep in there..My dad was very methodical about it..Installing a camera may not be a bad idea. At least talking to her in private would be a good idea.

[Bobbidylan]

OMG... He is definitely trying to do something inappropriate with your daughter, if he hasn't already!!!  If you ask me,a man  sleeping in the same bed as his teenage daughter is definitely a warning sign!!!  You need to act on this immediately  

[KateTX]

Dads don't ingore their kids then all of a sudden spend time with them and not alone and not in their beds! She's too old to be reading bed time stories to, why aren't you in there too, why are they alone and why not all together as a family on a regular basis.  Teenagers don't spend time with their dads alone in their bedroom by their own choice. Any change in behavior or your child is a warning sign that something isn't right. If your. It willing to immediately protect your child then you need to ensure they are not alone together. Your daughter does not want this attention from him!

[KateTX]

Immediately kick him out of the house, protect your daughter. Take your daughter and tell her you love her then ask what is going on. Then immediately call Cops/CPS. Your daughters safety is primary.