Can you please help me?

[patsyburrell]

My husband and I have been married over 20 years and we have a 18 year old daughter and 14 year old son.  My husband never give my daughter the time of day.  Her and I have always been so close.  It''s all different now, she never wants to be around me and it appears she hates the sight of me.  My husband has been going to her bedroom constantly laying on her bed and talking.  Then of course he says he fell asleep but this is now an everynight situation and now he wants her to go everywhere with him.  Their whole relationship is different.  Could he possibly be having sex with his own daughter?  What do you think is really going on?


This discussion is related to Sleeping in bed with mom.

[Luv5]

This is not a "normal situation."   I would invest in a spy camera/nanny cam.  You can always ask your daughter and/or your husband but you will always have doubts.  

[kitakita31]

This question is 7 years old, but I would love to hear how it turned out. im almost certain they are messing around.

[Katt219]

Right

[Mondy777]

Well let me start by saying Im glad Im not a member of your family's  if a father cant fall asleep on his daughters bed without been branded a peadophile or pervert. Have you ever thought that they have just bonded after 18 years of missed relationship. Maybe your marriage has broken down in his eyes and it is an escape for him?? Dont get me wrong there could be something more sinister but this is a man you have been married to for over 20 years and have two children with, surely peadophila and insest are not the first conclusions you can come to. I truely hope you sort your problem out and I truely hope its an innocent explication.

[boo_kitty]

I'm sorry, but it is in no way, shape or form normal for a GROWN MAN to suddenly sleep in his daughter's room whom he had no relationship with before.... No, it is NOT normal.

[Kinsleyc]

I'm glad your not a member of this family either! I have never heard of a father crawling into bed with his grown *** daughter! This is really disturbing and definately strange.The girl is 18! Sorry not right! If it is a situation where  he's having trouble in the marriage area with his wife and wants some space there's a damn couch he can sleep on! The 18 year old daughter's bed is unacceptable!
This needs to be investigated this poor girl will be ruined for the rest of her life all because the man(perv) she calls dad wants to manipulate and prey on his daughter ...Disgusting he's a predator for sure! What the hell is wrong with this damn world!!!

[deadsirius]

If it was like once a week thing maybe but every night? if it didnt happen before? i wouldnt automatically go for predator maybe, seems a bit extreme, but it is strange if it suddenly happens every night, in bed, not in the living room or something. Porn sites will also show you that some men have very disturbing fantasies involving their daughters (as do daughters involving their fathers but theyre hormonal kids, the adult should know better). The fact that the number of these men (and women) is more than 0 is concerning.

[jimmorrisonsbutt]

Dude. I lived with my aunt and uncle for a year and ended up having a sexual relationship with the husband. This is EXACTLY what we did. He would help me with homework and then fall asleep and then early in the morning the wife would realize and come down and get him. We went to the store together, on walks at night, watched movies together, I helped him with building projects. We weren't actually related and his wife was evil so it's not as ****** up as yours but I wholeheartedly believe that's what's going on in your home. And my gradual infatuation with him was also my gradual hatred of the wife. So that's you in this scenario. And that explains why your daughter doesn't want to be around you. She's jealous. You gotta get him out of your house. Your daughter is going to hate you for it but know that you're doing that right thing. And get her some therapy. It takes time. But you cannot let her be around him anymore.

[Tbj424]

You can't just say that she is jealous and that is why she is acting like that. She could also be really upset with her mother for not being able to see what is happening behind closed doors with her dad. That's usually how teens act. The "how could they let this happen???" thought. I know it sounds like it doesn't make sense, but that is how they feel. Like "they know me well enough to know that I'm not OK" its a very uncomfortable thing to talk about with a parent because of fear of said parents reaction.

[Imamonk]

It would seem right to question them both, especially your daughter since you once shared a close relationship with her. And I strongly agree with Kryan, that person is dangerous to the household.

[Sabella1S]

If he has ignored her the majority of her life it's possible there is another explanation for it. My dad did a similar thing with my sister when she got older.

But he did it out of guilt. He felt bad that she had to hear that she was the reason our parents got divorced her whole life.

Which was compounded by the fact that I was literally the only child he wanted, the only one he planned for and when he left my mother I was the only one he wanted and tried to get custody of until my stepmother told him he had to take all of his children not just me.

My siblings knew all this **** because he was not shy about saying that I was the only child he wanted. When my sister got older his guilt got the best of him and he tried to overcompensate with giving her **** and including her in father daughter outings that had only been me and him before.

The sudden change might seem weird but it's possible that his guilt for ignoring her got the best of him and he is overcompensating in an inappropriate looking way.

[patsyburrell]

Please someone talk to me and tell me if you or anyone you know has ever experienced anything like this.  I'm just in shock and I want to know how to find out if it is happining. Do I ask them? It's so hard to act normal like nothing is going on.

[Bradjani]

Do not allow it a single moment longer. You must deal with it. Discussions and ultimatums. If nothing is happening, he still has no reason to be in her room at night, and he should not want it to appear there is something. Insist all doors left open. If happens again, move out with daughter immediately. If nothing is going on, he should have no problem with the open door policy and not going into her room after dusk.