Can you please help me?

[patsyburrell]

My husband and I have been married over 20 years and we have a 18 year old daughter and 14 year old son.  My husband never give my daughter the time of day.  Her and I have always been so close.  It''s all different now, she never wants to be around me and it appears she hates the sight of me.  My husband has been going to her bedroom constantly laying on her bed and talking.  Then of course he says he fell asleep but this is now an everynight situation and now he wants her to go everywhere with him.  Their whole relationship is different.  Could he possibly be having sex with his own daughter?  What do you think is really going on?


This discussion is related to Sleeping in bed with mom.

[Unhoely]

guuuurl imma tell u somethin that "Husband" of yours is ******* your daughter im 100% sure

[Angelwings00]

Your daughter is hurt and mad at you for she feels you will not help her.
Feels you will not believe her. Shame! How are yiu going to handle the situation if yoyr husband, her father is molesting her?  She needs you.  He needs you.  

[HolidayinGoa]

I think someone in this situation should get help, this may be too much to deal with alone or with just online or other non-professional help.

[Suze1965]

There is a big probkem here. You need to talk to your husband and ask alot of questions here. This sounding all bad to me.

[Imran_123]

Don't spoil your relationship with your husband and always keep watch on them. Dont worry If your husband's nature is good then he will never have sex with his own daughter. And give more love to her and always be agree with her.try to take out her for 3 to 4days .

[yetolder]

Imran_123, sorry but you are very naive about this. I and my sister, by turns, were both victims of this and our father was a paragon of virtue in others' eyes. When I finally ran away at 16 (upon which he started grooming my younger sister, unbeknownst to anyone) I agree with both the commenters, one mentioning the girl's changed attitude toward Mom being borne of jealousy and the other saying the girl could be resenting the mother's inaction. A third possibility about her attitude change is guilt. But the daughter's sudden alienation from Mom is a dead giveaway that something very unwholesome is going on, had resulted in or is leading up to sexual relations between dad and daughter (with luck, you can stop it while he's still grooming her mind to that end.) By the way, another clue is in the fact that Dad never related to the daughter before taking this sexualized interest in her: he either is psychopathic and never felt a fatherly bond with her, which of course lets her appear to him as sexually desirable; or, more commonly seen, perhaps he was always nonplussed about how to relate to her if she happens to be very appealing to him - many diligent fathers struggle with this, and maybe the loose mores of modern culture have deluded him to think anything goes now that she's adult. Clutch your pearls, people, and then get over it and jump into action. This sh!t definitely happens, oftener than we'd like to think; it has always happened, even i  the straight-laced "good old days" in the 1950s when it happened to me, which I was told by the authorities when I went to them for help with emancipation as an i dependent minor. Get him out, with the added barrier of a restraining order specifying any contact with daughter; better yet, because he obviously doesn't care about rules and conventions, just get yourself and daughter out together, even to a women's shelter if need be. Daughter will need lots of therapy, needless to say.

[jimmorrisonsbutt]

And asking them will not help. If she's 18 she's going to be pissed at you and loyal to him. Father figures can get a real hold on a girls mind. She's gonna protect him and protect their "relationship". She's living in a fantasy and it's probably hurting her very very badly. Asking him will not help. He will probably tell you she's going through something and needs support or it's weird teenager stuff or an excuse like that. You'll know if you have asked him... get him out. I agree with the waiting until the middle of the night to walk in. Or just listen outside of the door. Make them think you're asleep. I know all of this. I've done it before.