Children's Eating Habits

[ironartist]

We have recently blended a family. I have two girls (10,13) and my wife has two boys (6,8). Just for added excitement the two boys and one of the girls is ADHD. seems no matter how much pre planning and conversations; we still are having much difficulty with our children and our own ways to raise children. Back when my girls were much younger, and I was a single parent, I made dinner each night, with a meat and two vegetables and most nights a side salad. My youngest had a hard time getting off the chicken nuggets and pasta as the only thing she would eat. But, I punished the girls with no desserts and early bedtimes and many other little nuisances. In short time she came around and eats a very healthy dinner each night. With my two young step sons, vegetables are taboo. They occasionally eat broccoli, corn and green beans. But, its much less than two servings per month and sometimes over a month without any vegetables. They love the meat and eat lots of sugary sweets, everything in the vegetable part of the food group is not going in there mouth. They refuse to take vitamins and we have resorted to giving them ensure twice a day. We have over the past few weeks been not allowing them to get anything else for dinner, except what being served. And no seconds on the things they like until they eat a tables spoon of the vegetables. So far, no luck. My wife is and has been a working mother and I feel tries anything and everything to appease the boys. I am a little more old school and believe that punishment always results in change. My wife suggest that we try broccoli and green beans every night and even try to hide it in the other foods. My two girls are getting really, really tired of broccoli and green beans every night, and watching the boys not even eat it. I believe that at some point they have to learn to eat in a healthy manner, and have to learn to eat whats for dinner. First, is this total lack of vegetables healthy for a growing child? and does anyone have a suggestion as what to try. The green beans and broccoli five nights a weeks for almost a year is getting pretty old.

[specialmom]

Ya know.  I would not go nuts with this.  First, don't buy the junk at home.  We don't have a lot of sweets here ( . . . if in the house I might eat them----  forget the kids!  LOL)  and we keep healthy choices.  I buy rice cakes for chips, low sodium whatever I can find, and just keep it simple in our house.  So that is what my child gets to pick from.  Offer what you offer for dinner---------  if they don't eat it, then fine.  Don't be mad, give them some lecture that is meaningless to them, ground them, yell at them, fight with their mother, etc.  Just say okay.  And then don't offer anything else.  They are not going to starve and they might eat some of the healthy althernatives you have.  I don't fight about food--------  it gets you no where.  

And I was a "selective eater" as a child.  I had 4 things I liked and they were rotated.  I'm now well into my 40's and have no health issues.  Pretty darn healthy.  So, while I agree that a healthy diet is important---------  I"m not over dramatic about it.  Do the best you can but understand that every child is different and showing them some respect for that is important.  They are going to be fine if they don't eat two vegis a night.  Make mealtime more fun----------  it will go better, I promise.

Have they ever helped prepare dinner with you?  

[RockRose]

My son's best friend is a  Lacrosse player in College.   I've known him since second grade.

All this boy eats is frozen cheese pizza,  bagels and cream cheese,  noodles with butter,  and chicken mcnuggets if they aren't the soggy kind,  or there isn't something weird about the texture or doneness of them.    I've seen him eat bacon sometimes at breakfast,  maybe 2 pieces.

I swear to you,  this is the entirety of his diet.  That's it.  Period.

He's very healthy and can play a whole game of Lacrosse or skim board at the beach until midnight.  

I really think if you offer kids a healthy diet and give them healthy choices and they refuse it always,  it's because they don't need it.  For whatever reason.  Who knows.

Other kids would get scurvy on a diet like this,  not this young man.  

[ironartist]

All great ideas. Unfortunately all of these have tried and tried again.Can't hide the food in any casseroles, as them go uneaten as well. They have a very, very small list of foods that they will eat and there is no tasting new things. Boy's won't eat cheese unless its on a subway sandwich or McDonald's cheese burger. Boy's will not take vitamins, have tried them all, even the gumball ones. They will take the chocolate Ensure drinks. Boys will not take medicine either. Anytime meds are used it's a battle of wills. Lots of liquid medicine has been spit out on floor. The eight year old is the least likely to try anything. His ADHD meds have to be hidden in a teaspoon of pudding and furnished a small coke as a bribe. It's still a problem. A doctor that I asked stated that we are what we eat, and we all will pay for our nutrition decisions we make in our formative years. He stated that children who eat poor nutritional value meals will have health issues later in life. The eight year old (9 in Aug) already has issues with his stomach. His doctor says its from not enough fibre. He poops his pants at school at least once a month, sometimes much more. We are currently working on a fecal hording theory on that one. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to become a short order cook to satisfy the two young boys.  Recently we have been not allowing any seconds of what they like or any desserts after dinner for those who don't eat their meals. Now they just fill up on milk. My mother stated, that i should  place a table spoon of everything on their plate and require them to eat that portion. My wife's mother made her stay at the table until her vegetables were finished.  But not one bean, not one pea, not one vegetable is even touched with a fork. Mom allows them sugary sweets, because they have to eat something. Thanks for the help. I think I have many years of fun ahead.

[Sandman2]

Great ideas ladies - I was a bit over my head here - thanks for jumping in!

[specialmom]

Oh, and have you tried the gummi bear vitamins?  My kids act like they are a treat, like candy.  

[specialmom]

Oh lordy, you will not like what I am going to say.  I didn't like vegi's much at these boys age and would do anything possible to not eat them.  And now as a grown up--------  I eat my vegis.  My mom didn't cram them down my throat but presented things in a posative way.  Eat them or else results in negative feelings.  I have two boys myself, one is 6 and one is 4.  My 4 year old will eat anything and everything but my 6 year old won't.  They were raised the same way with the same food which tells me that some kids just do not like the taste and texture of vegitables.  My son has sensory issues and texture is a big issue with that.  Many  kids with add/adhd also have these issues.  I do not want my dinner table to be constant tension, fighting, and punishment. So I take a different approach.  For my picky eater---------  we have something called the trying bowl.  I put in that bowl something that he may not like and have him take a bite of it.  He does not have to eat one bite more if he does not like it but he is free to finish it if he does.  It took out the fight of it while we are still trying to expand his diet.  We have found things that he tried, he finished.  I am mindful of his diet.  Many many fruits have the exact same nutrients and vitamins as vegitables.  My son eats every fruit under the son.  We also do smoothies that I put spinach and carrots juice in (spinach grinds up)------  mixed with fruit and he loves that.  I put vegi's in our spaghetti sauce or really anything that vegis cook down and blend into.  My approach is to be posative about the whole thing.  I hoot and hollar when my son takes his bite from the trying bowl.  This approach allows him to try things because  he is interested in trying vs. punitively having to eat to make me happy.  I tend to try to parent through a posative approach vs. negative and that has resulted in much better and cooperative attitudes.  I don't like certain foods now and am glad no one sits over me telling me that I have to clean my plate or I'm in trouble.  I try to encourage them to be better eaters without a fight.  Good luck

[RockRose]

I agree with sandman and mamabalas on offering other delicious vegetables,  and hiding the vegetables in casseroles,  and putting cheese and dressings on vegetables.  It's really easy to hide the vegetables if you grind them up REALLY finely and mix them in casseroles or spaghetti sauces.  Squash and zuccini is good for that.  

I also don't believe everyone needs as many vegetables and fruits as other people need.  I really believe different metabolisms require different things - and I do know adults who never,  ever eat fruit.  You'd think they wouldn't be healthy,  but they are.

Have you tried those delicious Naked Juices and Boathouse,  and similar really nice juices?   There are some with vegetables,  and some with fruits,  and they are DELICIOUS.    That would be something to try also.

[mamabalas]

I have had issues in the past with dinner time as well.  I give my son (7 yrs) a small portion of everything.  I make a meat, vegetable, potato or pasta, and salad is an option.  We do not always have desert.  My son is required without question to at least try everything on his plate.  He is not allowed to get up from the table without doing this.  There are some things he doesn't like for various reasons, some for flavor, some for texture/consistency.  Try different veggies, and yes you can mix it up a bit.  Casseroles and soups are a good way to do this.  These boys are not the ones buying the food, or preparing it and should respect the meals given to them.  I know this is a little old school, and even my own mother doesn't agree with me.  It has worked in my home with my own child and with the other children who stay here.  These boys will eat I'm sure if they don't have the option that they can't.  I also would stop with the sugary foods.  There are a lot of vitamin options, I have been giving my son flinstone vitamins for years.  He loves them, and if we are running late in the morning and I happen to forget his vitamin, he reminds me.   I would also like to say, try not to make it a battle and not to pin the girls against the boys.  I don't think any good will come of that, and the issue will go beyond food into something much more.  Good luck to you.

[Sandman2]

Well, 6 and 8 year old boys kinda do stuff like that.
    I definitely hear you about broccoli and green beans every night.  As much as I love them, that would get tiring.
    Have you tried things like sweet potatoes or spaghetti squash.  Putting cheese over anything/everything green?  Will they eat salad if you can find a dressing that they like?
The ensure is a good idea, but don't they make chewable vitamins that taste pretty good?
   And yes, they do need their veggies, for fiber if nothing else.  But probably not every night.  If punishment always results in changes, we would have no body in our jails.  Some times it works, sometimes it doesn't.  I have a feeling that this is one of those doesn't.  You definitely want to keep all sweets out of the house.  Make sure they are not snacking before dinner.  Perhaps ease off a while.  The 8 year old should be getting better.  The six year old will need more time.  Hopefully, some of the other members will have ideas for other ways to present the foods.  I am sure that you are not the only parent going through this.   I googled, "children won't eat vegetables". and got about 400,000 hits.  I think you can get some real good ideas there.  (I should have done that before I started writing this - oh well)  Good luck