Defiance

[screwthis]

My son is 3 1/2.  An jovial baby and pure defiance now.  A switch made over a span of 9 months.  Is it true that 3's are harder...forget the "terriable 2's"?  The regular battles...dinner, bedtime and perental requests; such as "don't throw the tissue on the floor of the car, hold it next to you to reuse it when you need to".  From point A to point B, at least 5 hardly used tissues on the floor.  He holds it out like a southern bell with a hankie, looks me in the eyes and drops it.  He takes his nighttime pull up off and procedes to pee and poop on the floor.  Tonight he looked me in the eye and said "pee pee on floor", then went.  I take away favorite things, I do time out (which is a total joke) and try to talk and reason (another joke)...then just wind up losing my cool and yelling.  Tonight I was brought to tears and exhausted...I need direction to light at the end of the tunnel.  I just don't know how to handle him or communicate with him.

[Sandman2]

   Very good advice by rucnfun.  Also ya  gotta pick your wars.  To get upset over the tissue is crazy!  Let him drop it.  ignore it.  After a while its no big deal and he will move on to something else.  
   And you are right - talking and reasoning don't work at this age because they aren't very good at reasoning.  Timeouts will work.  they just don't work overnight.  Consistency is the biggest deal.   You might try getting, "SOS Help for Parents" by Lynn Clark.  It is a highly recomended book.  And of course check out some of the other posts on this forum, you will find out that you are not the only one feedup with the situation at hand.

[Rucnfun]

I can completely relate to how your feeling. My daughter just turned 4 and I would have to say that 3's were the hardest year ( and she is still continually testing me! ). She was an angel all through her 2's!! Ok so I've read a few books, and I have been a nanny for 10 years. It's going to be very hard but you HAVE to stick through with rules that you say, and you cannot lose your temper. That means NO yelling or screaming. They see that you are out of control, and if you can't even control your own emotions how are you going to control a 3 year old? They understand that too, and they need boundaries and limits and they need you to follow through with what you say. So you say dinner is a battle. Can you explain to me exactly what goes on at dinner? Same with bedtime. He is totally testing you, knowing soon you will pop. Holding the tissue in his hands, looking you directly in the eye to make sure your watching, and bam it goes on the floor. I would love to help you more, just give me a little more examples of the bedtime, dinner, and then explain to me why time-outs arent working, as well as the talk and reason.