Eczema and beyond

[buckeye65]

My 3 and a half year old has a pretty severe case of eczema.  We've seen four dermatologists and two allergists.  I believe I have finally found an allergist and a pediatric dermatologist that have a really good plan of action, but I am worried it may be too late.  

She has taken her itching with her eczema over the top.  Unfortunatly she has learned to use it as a coping mechanism when she doesn't get her way, and also to get attention.  I guess I've know it all long, but as a mother it has been incredibly difficult to stand by and watch her scratch her legs and arms to the point where she is making herself bleed.  Her dermatoligist brought it to light this week when he suggested we see someone, and that she may need behavior modification.  When I tell her she can't have something, or when I am not paying attention to her, she scratches to the point where she is digging at her flesh.  It is horrible to watch....and like any mother would do, I jump to the rescue, soothe her, and give her anything she wants.  

I realize that I am being manipulated, but I have tried everything walking away (then she continues to scratch and do more damage to her skin).  I have talked to her calmly and tried to explain to her the damage that she's doing to her skin (doesn't work).  I've tried positive reinforcement.  We make her even sleep in gloves at night because if we don't she'll wake up with blood all over her sheets.  

I know all the medical things that we are supposed to do....keep her cool, calm, and moisturized and she's currently using a prescribed ointment for her skin.  I just believe this is behavioral.

Its especially awful when she does it in public.  People think something is wrong with her, and I know what she's doing, and I always give in to get her to stop.

I am so frustrated because I know she has a skin problem, but I am also angry that I have let her manipulate me for probably the last year.  And unfortunately it is getting worse instead of better.

Any help you could offer would be appreciated.

Buckeye65

[Humomma]

Hello.  I am a mother of a now 2 1/2 year old.  My daughter is great now but from 3 to 10 months, she had the most severe eczema and impetigo (she had weepy open skin) and she did exactly what you shared about your daughter.  We saw dozens of people, dozens!  Nothing worked and believe me we TRIED everything!  Finally, we found someone who helped her literally overnight, it was amazing.  She literally stopped scratching overnight but when she was stressed, she would scratch as she had it wired in her brain that scratching is what she does when she is uncomfortable because it was a way of comforting herself.  Even when her skin improved, there were times she would scratch due to a fart or upcoming poop or under some stress, hunger, anything.  So, I bought her these organic mitten t-shirt for sleeping and for long car rides... scratching is a very unconscious act so even though it seemed like she is doing it to get attention, I learned that it was not like that at all in our case.  The organic mitten t-shirt allowed her to scratch and soothe without hurting herself. In time, she learned how to express in other ways.  I would first find a way to get rid of the eczema and then you may need to patiently find ways on how to allow her to find other ways to express... my daughter had to cry quite a bit for all the times she was in pain, I would hold her and allow her to cry in my arms and just hold her reverently and lovingly (someone had recommended this, it was scary at first) so it gave her a safe place to release and I noticed that afterwards she would be relaxed and back to her happy self... it's been a long time she did this but I think it is important at least for us to have helped her release from all that pent-up frustration from the constant pain and irritation of eczema, it could make anyone crazy to itch so much I think.  It has been a journey.  If you want to learn more about how we used natural products from this amazing herbalist/Doc who actually had a background in helping babies and toddlers with severe eczema, feel free to email me as I know how hard it can be.  We sent tons of babies and toddlers to this Doc and they all are better for it.  

It's funny you titled you title your comments as "eczema and beyond" as I am just in the midst of creating a website called beyondeczema.com to share information with other parents as we were fortunate enough to be a success story.  If it wasn't for this person's special formulation, I don't know where we would be by now.  Everyone told us that my daughter would not heal until she was in her teens at best.  She has been eczema free for a while now, she is still sensitive as she is sensitive to chemical but she is very healthy and happy... a long way from where she was!

I hope all is well.  Feel free to email as I don't check this website, I just happened to hit it today first time.  

[jdtm]

I have seen this before.  A niece of ours would scratch herself until her arms and legs and hands and feet were scabs and/or bloody.  Her mother noticed that drinking milk seemed to exacerbate the scratching and changing her diet did help some.  In addition, this niece suffers from anxiety issues and dealing with them also lessened the scratching.

If it is any consolation, today our niece is a grown woman with beautiful skin and I have seen no evidence of the scratching in years.  I wish you the best ...