Handling Fear

[Papasan]

Some children in my family have some fear issues, so I have been working this with my own son.  He's almost five, and for the last two years, I have been taking him to the back yard behind my house several nights a week.  We are in a semi-rural neighborhood, so it is pitch black, and there are woods too.  At first he doesn't want to go, then I talk him into it, then we go back and after a little while, he gets very comfortable and we walk around and talk about what we can see and if it is scary or not.  Virtually every time, he comes away unafraid.

So my first question is, is this something I should not be doing?  He seems ok with it, but I don't know for sure.

My second question is about reactions.  When he sees something on TV or anywhere else that looks like it is going to be scary, his reaction is to immediately cover his ears.  He also is very sensitive to loud abrupt noises like baloons popping (he can blow a whistle for hours), or fireworks.  When he was two, at a minor league baseball game, they had a fireworks display, and he was terrified, so I held my hands over his ears the whole time, but he still cried and clearly didn't like it.  My wife thinks this is why he covers his ears to this day.  Any validity to that?

[Papasan]

Thanks for the reply.  The noise thing seems to only apply to abrupt noise.  Constant noise in his classroom all day has no affect on him.  He is only nervous about something sudden, even if he knows it's coming.  If I blow a whistle in front of him, he doesn't care, but if I even pretend I am going to pop a balloon in front of him, he runs away, scared and covering his ears.  When there are fireworks, he doesn't even want to be outside.  We have to watch them from the car with the windows up.

[jdtm]

Introducing your child bit by bit to something he is afraid of is call desensitizing.  That's what you are doing when you gradually introduce your son to the darkness.  Psychologists use this method all of the time.

And yes, it is very common for children who suffer from anxiety to have sensitivity issues as sound.  When he goes to school, I expect the constant noise in the classroom will upset him.  Unfortunately, this behaviour is very common.  If interested, you might wish to google the term "childhood anxiety" for additional information on the internet which you  might find of value in helping your son.  There are also many books written for children suffering from anxiety.  Hope this helps ...